(17) BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS (1983)

Eternal salvation or triple your money back!

Similar to Discordianism – with which it is often compared (and with which it arguably overlaps) – the Church of the SubGenius is either a joke disguised as a religion or a religion disguised as a joke, although in my opinion it doesn’t lend itself as much to the latter as Discordianism.

“The Church of the SubGenius is a parody religion described by some of its own members as an ‘insane bogus UFO mind-control cult’…elements of self-help groups, UFO cults, Scientology, apocalyptic Christianity, and utterly shameless money-grubbing antics”.

It purportedly originates from its revered prophet, J.R. Bob Dobbs, usually known simply as “Bob”. (When printing “Bob”‘s name, the “Bob” must always be surrounded by “quotes”). “Bob” is the prophet (as well as avatar and embodiment) of Slack, the cosmic spiritual quality as ineffable as the Tao for which the Church and all its members strive – and to which the Con or Conspiracy is opposed. Which conspiracy? Why, all of them of course – as the Conspiracy represents them all.

The ultimate goal of all SubGeniuses (SubGenii?) is to survive until X-Day, when godlike aliens “will arrive and Rupture all the dues-paying SubGenii to a never-ending tour” (pleasure tour?) “of the universe, while converting Planet Earth into the intergalactic equivalent of a greasy-spoon truck-stop”. For those left behind (anyone who isn’t a paid-up SubGenii), it’s not going to be fun as “human pain is apparently a very high-priced drug among the various gods, demons, and alien beings of the complex and ever-growing SubGenius Pantheon”. X-Day is prophesied to occur on 5 July 1998, at 7 AM – “the fact that that date apparently passed without the arrival of the Alien Fleet has forced SubGenii to come up with a multitude of excuses”.

The Book of the Sub-Genius is of course its foundational text, although the New(er) Testament, Relevation X, comes close!

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)