Constans (left) and Gratian (right) in Dovahatty’s Unbiased History of Rome XVII & XVIII: Imperial Wrath & Barbarians at the Gates respectively

(17) CONSTANS & GRATIAN
(CONSTANS – CONSTANTINIAN DYNASTY 337-350 AD: 12 YEARS 4 MONTHS)
(GRATIAN – VALENTINIAN DYNASTY 375-383: 7 YEARS 9 MONTHS 8 DAYS)

And now we come to two emperors with uncannily similar reigns, despite being separated by forty years or so as well as from successive dynasties.

Both succeeded great emperors (for whom the dynasties were named) as their sons, both began as child emperors in circumstances where others had designs on them as puppets, both were western emperors who were reasonably robust in defending the western empire, and both were usurped and killed when their legions deserted them due to them ‘favoring’ their barbarian soldiers in suggestive ways. Also both courted religious controversy while favoring Nicene Christianity.

Constans was one of the three sons of Constantine who each inherited a third of the empire as co-emperors from their father after his death in 337. Constans inherited the middle third of the empire including Italy and Rome itself, but as ward of his older brother Constantine II because he was a teen at the time.

As we saw in my Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors. Constantine II tried to stand over his younger brother, until unsuccessfully attempting to usurp Constans altogether when Constans came of age and asserted his independence, being killed when ambushed – by the advance forces of Constans, not even the main force.

Constans’ reign commenced in reasonably robust fashion. He had defeated the Sarmatians in a campaign as a teenage co-emperor before defeating the attempt of his brother Constantine II to usurp him, adding the latter’s realm of the western part of the empire to his own of the middle part of the empire around Italy. He then ruled the west in energetic fashion, campaigning successfully against the Franks and visiting Britain, probably also on campaign – the last emperor to do so in the classical empire (or at all, even counting the eastern empire, apart from Manuel II Palaiologos).

Relations with his remaining brother, Constantius II as his co-emperor in the eastern empire, were somewhat strained – including by religious tension as Constans favored Nicene Christianity over the Arian Christianity of Constantius. Constans also banned pagan sacrifices.

And then things went wrong, as he was successfully usurped and killed for being entirely too gay by a complete outsider to the Constantian dynasty, Magnentius, such that he had to be avenged by Constantius II. No, really – the surviving sources accuse him of misrule and homosexuality, albeit probably influenced by the propaganda of Magnentius’ faction.

In particular, he developed a reputation for cruelty and misrule as well as that he “indulged in great vices” and scandalous behaviour, unduly favoring the handsome barbarian members of his, ahem, select bodyguard, while also being accused of gratifying his tastes with young barbarian hostages.

How much of that is true is another matter, but certainly something went very wrong for his lack of popularity and for his legions to desert him, such that he found himself without any support beyond his immediate household when faced with the imperial claim made by the general Magnentius and had to flee for his life. He attempted to flee to Hispania but was cornered and killed seeking sanctuary in a temple in Gaul in a location named for his grandmother Helena, thus fulfilling an alleged prophecy that he would die in his grandmother’s arms.

Gratian was one of two sons of Valentinian, becoming senior emperor at the age of sixteen when his father died in 375. I’ve already included his half-brother Valentinian II in a previous special mention, but Valentinian II was younger still as a mere child and was only co-emperor in name only over essentially the same middle provinces Constans had initially ruled, with Gratian ruling the western empire himself, with their uncle Valens ruling as eastern emperor.

I say ruling the western empire himself, but his rule was effectively sought to be puppeted by his tutor Ausonius, who became quaester and along with Merobaudes, the western empire’s magister militum of Frankish origin, the real power behind the throne. They prevented Gratian from travelling much, partly to conceal his youth from the populace.

And then disaster struck in 378 AD, with none other than the defeat and death of Valens at the notorious Battle of Adrianople against the Goths – albeit through no fault of Gratian’s, who had been en route to reinforce Valens with his western army before Valens had jumped the gun to fight the Goths without western reinforcements. Gratian had also been delayed by fighting with the barbarian Alans that had also invaded the Balkans – note that tribal name because it pops up again in his downfall. It was also alleged that Merobaudes had delayed or withheld troops, although the latter seems to have been reasonably necessary for a victory over the Alamanni taking advantage of troop withdrawals to invade Gaul.

The defeat and death of Valens left Gratian as sole emperor of the whole empire, but with the Goths now rampaging unchecked in the Balkans, Gratian decided he needed an eastern co-emperor and appointed Theodosius, thereby starting the rot of the Theodosian dynasty that saw in the fall of the empire.

Jointly with Theododius, Gratian touted Nicene Christianity as the only official religion – but down on the surviving remnants of paganism more forcefully than Theodosius, issuing edicts closing down pagan temples or shrines and confiscating their funds for the treasury, above all removing the statue of the winged goddess of Victory from the Senate.

In the meantime, Gratian had won victories against invading barbarian tribes of Alamanni or Goths in 380 AD, but again found himself at war with the Alamanni in 383 AD. During that war, he alienated his army by his favoritism to his barbarian Alan deserters whom he had made his bodyguard. I told you to remember that name – although I can’t help thinking of it as some barbarian guy named Alan. He was also accused of keeping bad company (Alan!) and neglecting the affairs of state to have fun.

And so his army deserted him to the usurper Magnus Maximus, who had raised the standard of revolt in Britain and invaded Gaul to advance a competing imperial claim. Similarly to Constans, Gratian was forced to flee, only to be pursued and killed in Gaul by forces loyal to Magnus Maximus, leaving his half-brother Valentinian II as sole western emperor in contest with Magnus Maximus – as we saw when I ranked Valentinian III among these special mentions.

DID DOVAHHATTY DO RIGHT?

Dovahhatty obviously plays into the historical sources for Constans being usurped as entirely too gay – with a rare departure from the standard chad-wojak-virgin triumvirate and instead featuring Constans as the stylized perfect girlfriend meme (with captions to match). His father Constantine even confuses him for a daughter.

Gratian fares better as a wojak – but of course far short of his chad father Valentinian.

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