Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII: Imperial Wrath

(10) JOVIAN –
USUALLY THROWN IN AS CONSTANTINIAN DYNASTY BUT REALLY NON-DYNASTIC
(363 – 364 AD: 7 MONTHS 21 DAYS)

The archetypal brief Crisis of the Third Century emperors prompt to mind the similarly brief reign of Jovian – although he really is in a category of his own, whose brief reign through no real fault of his was seen as a bit of a joke. Really, all he did was preside over the humiliating defeat handed to him by his predecessor – and die…one of the most blackly comic deaths of any Roman emperor.

That predecessor was Julian, killed in battle against the Sassanid Persians. Jovian, a member of the imperial bodyguard who had accompanied Julian on campaign, was proclaimed emperor by the troops. With the army trapped from crossing the Tigris River back to the empire, he had no choice but to sue for peace on humiliating terms in a treaty that was widely seen as a disgrace by the Romans.

He spent his brief reign – the last emperor to rule the whole empire during his entire reign – travelling back to Constantinople and answering petitions about doctrinal issues by Christian bishops, Julian’s pagan revival now effectively reversed with Jovian as Christian emperor.

He died as yet another emperor who never set foot in Rome – his death attributed to breathing poisonous fumes from his newly painted bedchamber heated by a brazier, which sounds suspiciously like a cover for assassination (but perhaps just crazy enough to be a genuine accident – it is after all a lot subtler than the usual assassin’s sword in the back). He was succeeded by Valentinian as western emperor and Valens as eastern emperor.

RATING: 1 STAR*
F-TIER (WORST TIER)
EMPIRE-DEBASER (ALBEIT NOT REALLY HIS FAULT)