Tag Archives: Film

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Fantasy & TV Films (7) Fantasy: Indiana Jones

Posted on by

The iconic poster image of the first film

 

(7) FANTASY: STEVEN SPIELBERG – INDIANA JONES

(1981-1989: INDIANA JONES 1-3 – yeah I don’t count Crystal Skull or Dial of Destiny)

 

“You call this archaeology?”

Indiana Jones is the pure awesomeness you get when you mix George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in a bowl of serials – the adventure cliffhanger serial films of the 1930’s. The centerpiece of that awesomeness is the film trilogy of the 1980’s, although there is a media franchise or expanded universe extending to books, comics and television. For Indiana Jones, archaeology was adventure – racing Nazis for mystical artefacts such as the Ark of the Covenant or the Holy Grail, as opposed to the much less adventurous reality of dusting off and sorting one piece of broken pottery from another, barely above watching paint dry in excitement. Who’d have thought that a bullwhip and pistol were such indispensable archaeological tools? In fairness, Indiana does actually teach archaeology at a university, but even then his classes are full of hot coed groupies, who spend their time writing love messages to him on their eyelids rather than studying.

It is hard to choose between the three films of the original cinematic trilogy (ignoring, as I do, the fevered dreams of a fourth movie nuking the fridge two decades later, let alone the hallucinations of a fifth film, hence my entry only extends to the first three films), but it is equally hard to beat the introduction in Raiders of the Lost Ark to the character and his historical world much cooler than ours. I assume it needs no further introduction? From the iconic opening scene in the South American tomb of terror to the equally iconic finale, it is a masterpiece of cinematic adventure. The plot of course revolves around the archaeological arms race between the United States and Nazi Germany for the titular Ark of the Covenant. (That’s right – they’re going Old Testament on each other). Indiana Jones is enlisted by the United States government to thwart the Nazi recovery of the Ark. (“Nazis! I hate those guys!” We all do, Indy, we all do). Which explains why Nazi Germany lost the war – well, that and they lost too many men in Castle Wolfenstein.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films: (8) SF: Back to the Future

Posted on by

Classic promotional poster art for the first film

 

 

(8) SF: BACK TO THE FUTURE

(1985-1990: BACK TO THE FUTURE 1-3)

 

“If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious sh*t.”

Alternatively, “McFly!”

One of the two definitive SF time travel franchises of all time – as per South Park, “Terminator rules” are that time travel is “one way only and you can’t go back”, in contrast with “Back to the Future rules, where back and forth is possible”. The other distinction is the mutability of time in the latter as opposed to the former – or to put it simply, you can change the past in the latter, for better or worse. Which in my opinion makes for the more entertaining franchise for the actual time travel – combining “fish out of water comedy with high-stakes drama, making deft use of threatened temporal paradox” (not to mention running gags based on similar events across time) and shuttling back and forth 30 years before and after 1985 as well as a century into the past.

The first film in the trilogy is the best, setting the basic themes and tropes for the sequels to follow:

“Marty McFly, a teenager from 1985, accidentally sends himself to 1955 in the time machine Doc Brown built out of a DeLorean, and requires 1.21 gigawatts of power to return home. After initial confusion, the 1955 Doc Brown agrees to help Marty get back home by striking his car with 1.21 gigawatts of lightning, giving Marty a week to make his parents fall back in love at a dance and put bully Biff Tannen in his place”

Not to mention inventing rock ‘n’ roll…

 

FANTASY OR SF?

 

Again, it’s obviously SF – one of the definitive SF time travel film franchises! Although time travel can work as a fantasy trope – and I do like it whenever it pops up in fantasy, although it is perhaps more limited in fantasy use because of its potential story-breaking power if done by means of magic controlled by a character or protagonist.

 

HORROR

 

Unusually for fantasy or SF, virtually no element of horror – unless you count the existential horror of erasing yourself from existence by changing the past….

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films: (9) SF: Jurassic Park

Posted on by

 

 

(9) SF: JURASSIC PARK

(1993 – yes I know there’s an ongoing franchise but I’m only really counting the first film)

 

Everything’s better with dinosaurs!

We all love dinosaurs, ever since we started digging up their bones – and we particularly love them in cinematic form. I’d argue that there is not one film that would not be improved by a dinosaur (or dinosaurs). Citizen Kane would have been MUCH improved by a dinosaur.

Anyway, Jurassic Park is the pure awesomeness you get when you combine dinosaurs with Steven Spielburg’s mastery of cinematic action and visual effects. Does it need any further introduction? You all know it. You probably can all quote it, from some point or other in the film or franchise.

I actually read the book first. Michael Crichton might have gotten a bit…controversial in his later years, but he sure knew how to craft a story – and Jurassic Park was one of his finest and certainly his most successful. Of course, there are the usual differences between the book and the film – the former had a starring role for the T-Rex’s tongue and the lawyer Gennaro was much more heroic (as lawyers should be), punching out a velociraptor and surviving rather than sniveling in a toilet before being slurped down by the tyrannosaur like the film’s lawyer.

Spielberg’s magic was of course to bring the book to life. The plot is the same – scientists discover how to recreate dinosaurs through a complex cloning process, involving dinosaur blood from mosquitoes fossilized in amber and filling in the gaps with other animal DNA, most notably transsexual frogs. Naturally, they come up with a dinosaur theme park to profit from this discovery, and equally as naturally, everything that can go wrong does go wrong – usually in the form of sharp pointy teeth.

Or in the words of character Dr. Ian Malcolm “Oh yeah, ‘oooh aaah’. That’s how it always starts. Then later, there’s the running and the screaming” – neatly summarizing each of the movies in the series, as TV Tropes pointed out. The same quotation might arguably apply to diminishing returns of the sequels, albeit with marginally less running and screaming. To which I offer the counter-argument – shut up, there’s dinosaurs! Even so, I’ll stick with just the first film for this entry – the franchise has been trying to capture the same magic ever since.

Of course, when it comes to the dinosaurs, there is only one true star. Despite the franchise’s effort to focus on the velociraptors (which I understand they beefed up from their actual and less imposing size of chickens), there’s only one true king (or more precisely, queen) of the prehistoric jungle – the tyrannosaurus rex.

 

FANTASY OR SF?

 

Well, it’s obviously SF – genetically engineered dinosaurs! Although I do like it when dinosaurs pop up in fantasy, which they do surprisingly often. Everything’s better with dinosaurs!

 

HORROR

 

Elements of survival horror from animal predators – the tyrannosaurus rex and velociraptors in particular.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films (10) SF: Dune

Posted on by

Promotional artwork from the 2024 Dune film as the cover for the Frank Herbert book

 

 

(10) SF: DUNE

(2021-2024: DUNE PARTS 1-2)

 

“Walk without rhythm, you won’t attract the worm”

That is of course the lyric from Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice, but like this ongoing film series, it is adapted from Frank Herbert’s SF novel Dune. The music video famously featured actor Christopher Walken dancing through a hotel lobby – and much to my delight of happy synchronicity, he was also in Dune Part 2, and as the God-Emperor no less! I might have squealed a little in my delight at that – although they sadly missed the opportunity for him to re-enact that dance scene in the film.

This is perhaps stretching my usual rule for wildcard tenth place entry as best of 2024 but I’m running with it. For one thing, the sequel film Dune Part 2 was released in that year and it easily was the best fantasy or SF film of 2024. For another, I didn’t actually see the first film when it was released but watched it shortly before seeing the sequel film at the cinema – so in effect both films were in 2024 for me.

And for yet another, with two films under its belt and another on the way, with consummate direction by Denis Villeneuve and a star-studded cast, it is easily the best fantasy or SF film franchise at the moment and the closest thing as successor to the epic Lord of the Rings fantasy film trilogy, particularly as that trilogy is offset by subsequent releases from what is now an expanding film and TV franchise.

As a fan of literary as well as cinematic fantasy and SF, I have to confess that I have never read Frank Herbert’s Dune or any of its sequels, although it is impossible to be a fantasy and SF fan without being aware of its plot or elements, at least in broad outline – archetypal space opera with an archetypal Galactic Empire, desert planet Arrakis, Paul Atreides and the House Atreides, Baron Harkonnen and House Harkonnen, the Fremen, spice, the sandworms, and the Bene Gesserit.

Or for that matter, its influence on subsequent fantasy or SF – it’s hard not see Dune’s Galactic Empire in Star Wars, or Arrakis in Tatooine, or even Paul Atreides in Luke Skywalker (although Star Wars could definitely have done with more Bene Gesserit).

The two Dune films seem to adapt the plot and elements well from what I know of them, particularly given the daunting scale and scope of the literary source to adapt to film (not unlike Lord of the Rings), and in stunning visual style to boot.

 

FANTASY OR SF?

 

Well, it’s obviously classic SF space opera…but like that other classic SF space opera, Star Wars, it has distinct elements of space fantasy.

 

HORROR

 

Like most SF or fantasy, it has some elements of horror – the sandworms can be terrifying – but not predominant or thematic enough to rank the films in the horror genre.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD-TIER) – BEST OF 2024

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films

Posted on by

Promotional art for the 1982 fantasy film, The Beastmaster. Amazingly, it became a cult classic. Even more amazingly, it became a franchise, with two sequel films and a television series. The film was shown on HBO so often that comedian Dennis Miller joked HBO stood for “Hey, Beastmaster’s on!”. And yes – it’s not that good but it’s a guilty pleasure of mine.

 

 

“Fantasy isn’t just a jolly escape: It’s an escape, but into something far more extreme than reality, or normality. It’s where things are more beautiful and more wondrous and more terrifying.” – Terry Gilliam

That’s how I introduced my Top 10 Fantasy Books and it’s even more apt for my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films, given I feature Terry Gilliam in my special mentions as one of my favorite directors of fantasy or SF films.

Although, the definition of fantasy might be less apt as my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films overwhelmingly leans towards SF, with eight entries as SF and only two entries as fantasy. As such, I will note each entry as either fantasy or SF.

In fairness, I might well have ranked more films as fantasy, or SF for that matter. When I compiled my top ten ‘non-genre’ films, I noted those with fantasy or SF elements. The same applies to my top ten comedy films. The distinction is that the fantasy or SF elements did not predominate in those films so as to rank them within the fantasy or SF genres but the elements are still there.

More substantially, I also have separate top tens for animated films, films adapted from comics, and horror films – each of which predominantly consist of films that could be ranked within the fantasy or SF genres. Animated films lean towards fantasy, films adapted from comics lean towards SF (albeit often functionally or outright fantasy for superheroes), and I have deliberately leaned my top ten horror films towards fantasy or supernatural horror.

Ironically, at least three of the SF entries in this top ten could be ranked as horror or more precisely SF horror (a sub-genre also reflected in the special mentions for my Top 10 Horror Films). Given the overlap of both fantasy and SF with horror, I will also note where an entry might have also been ranked as horror or arguably has elements of horror.

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films. Just a quick note – if you’re looking for The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars, I rank them in my special mention entries. The former is because as much as I love that film trilogy, it is eclipsed by my love of the book trilogy, ranking it in top spot in My Top 10 Fantasy Books. The second is because I have a complicated love-hate relationship with the original Star Wars film trilogy – and that trilogy has been somewhat diminished by them running the franchise into the ground since. Which, to be honest, they’ve also pretty much done with The Lord of the Rings franchise, what with the Hobbit film trilogy and the Rings of Power TV series.

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (Complete Top 10 – revised for 2025)

Posted on by

 

Exactly what it says on the tin – my top ten films.

 

Well, perhaps not quite exactly as these are my top ten non-‘genre’ films – that is, excluding ‘genre’ films such as fantasy or SF films, animated films, films adapted from comics, and horror films, all of which have their own top tens. I also rank comedy films in their own top ten.

 

That said, quite a few of my non-genre films have fantasy or SF elements, just not predominantly so to rank them within the genre – but I will have a special section in each entry to note fantasy or SF elements. Also, almost every film has comedic elements or at least the odd gag – after all, one could classify almost every narrative work by the comedy-tragedy dichotomy of classical Greek drama – so I will also have a special section for comedy in each entry.

 

And yes – I know animation is more a medium than its own genre, although animated films are predominantly fantasy or SF genre. The same goes for films adapted from comics, although that depends on the genre of comic.

 

And no – despite my feature image being the poster for Citizen Kane, “frequently cited as the greatest film ever made”, it is not in my top ten, although I suppose that fortuitously avoids spoiling any entry. While I have seen it, found it engaging enough, and acknowledge its innovative technical brilliance…sadly I tend towards the view of the film expressed by Peter Griffin in The Family Guy, albeit I wouldn’t go quite so far as he did. (In one of its signature cutaway gags, Peter has been banned from the video stores for taping over their movies. In the case of Citizen Kane, he tapes over it to say “It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you two long, boobless hours”).

 

It could be worse. It could be Peter Griffin’s opinion of The Godfather – he didn’t care for it, as “it insists upon itself”.

 

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Films.

 

Theatrical release poster art

 

(10) DAVID LEITCH –

THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

My wildcard tenth place entry for 2024 goes to The Fall Guy. In something of a departure from my usual rule, it wasn’t the best or my favorite film from 2024 – that’s the next entry, although given that the next entry is more dark fantasy or horror, it might be counted as the best non-genre film from 2024. And what’s not to love about a movie filmed and set in Australia? (Sydney in case you were wondering).

 

It’s not high art by any means and goes off the rails in the third act, but I just like the films of director David Leitch and this entry replaced 2022’s Bullet Train as my former entry for him. Bullet Train was probably quirkier fun that The Fall Guy but the latter has a broader and more easy-going charm.

 

Leitch just makes fun popcorn-munching films with standout action set pieces, not surprisingly from his background as a stunt performer – including as stunt double for Brad Pitt (who starred as the protagonist in Bullet Train).

 

His (uncredited) directorial debut was a little film in 2014 called John Wick. He followed that up with Atomic Blonde and its gritty action scenes revolving around Charlize Theron as protagonist – which with Bullet Train and The Fall Guy would comprise my holy trinity of Leitch films to date.

 

Yes – I love John Wick but it’s not pure Leitch as he was co-director with the credited director Chad Stehelski. He also directed Deadpool 2 and Hobbs & Shaw but they’re not quite in the same league as the trinity.

 

As for The Fall Guy, what more do you need to know than it broke a Guiness World Record for the most cannon rolls in a car?

 

Okay, okay – perhaps a little more but it’s clearly Leitch directing “a love letter to stunts” in tribute to his former career, using practical stunts in highly choreographed action sequences and a nice nod to just what goes into bringing an action sequence to the screen. For the record – and I’m sure it’s part of the film’s joke – the film within the film looks as if it would be terrible and cheesily over the top.

 

Beyond that it’s an action-comedy film like its predecessor Bullet Train, but in its case loosely based on the 1980s TV series about stunt performers (so keep an eye out for those cameos from the series). Ryan Gosling is his usual charismatic self as the stuntman protagonist “working on his ex-girlfriend’s (Emily Blunt) directorial debut action film, only to find caught up in a conspiracy involving the film’s lead actor” – played by Bullet Train alumni (and future James Bond) Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

 

And it’s hoot, even if (or perhaps especially as) the plot veers into the usual absurdity of action films.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

I suppose you could count the film within the film – an SF film of alien war or invasion. However – few fantasy or SF elements in the film itself unless you count drug hallucinations or the suspension of disbelief from just how absurd the plot gets.

 

COMEDY

 

Definitely comedic elements – so much so that you could probably rank it as a comedy, but I feel the action looms larger, particularly in those exquisitely choreographed and crafted stunts.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

Theatrical release poster

 

 

(9) ROBERT EGGERS –

NOSFERATU (2024)

 

“He is coming”

Yes, I know that I should technically include it in one of my genre film top ten lists – specifically my Top 10 Horror Films (although I will certainly add it to my special mention for vampire horror films) – but I’m substituting it for my previous Eggers entry in this top ten, The Northman.

Although come to think of it, there’s something of a running theme for horror or at least dark fantasy elements in all four of the films Eggers has directed so far – The Northman had arguably the fewest such elements, but Nosferatu follows on from the atmospheric horror of his first film The Witch, aptly enough as Nosferatu has been a passion project Eggers has had bubbling since then and he intended it to be his second film.

If there’s one thing for which Eggers is known, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

He did it with The Witch, he did it with The Northman, and he did it here in his Gothic horror passion project. Indeed, I’d argue that he did it best here – for one thing he has the dark fantasy elements to play with from vampire folklore and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing that is arguably a side effect of his world-immersion to make his best paced film yet.

If you know Dracula – particularly the book – you know the central plot of this film. Nosferatu is a remake of the 1922 German silent film of the same name (also remade by Werner Herzog as the 1979 German film Nosferatu the Vampire which is the version I saw). That film in turn was based on the book Dracula, transferred to Germany (instead of England) with the names of characters changed to avoid copyright, most notably the titular vampire renamed to Count Orlok.

Forget the more suave depictions of Dracula or indeed any vampire – Count Orlok as he appeared in the original film (and the 1979 remake) was a distinctively grotesque figure, albeit perhaps unintentionally comic at times.

However, forget that unintentionally comic appearance at times here – as played by Bill Skarsgard (upping the ante on his previous eldritch horror depiction of Pennywise), Orlok is still grotesque but also a towering and terrifying figure of apocalyptic plague, literal and metaphorical. And that’s not just by sight but also by sound – with his reverberating, sepulchral voice.

He’s also gloriously moustachioed, evoking the appearance of Dracula in the book – in turn drawn from the original Dracula, Vlad Tepes or Vlad the Impaler. You certainly get the impression of a literally larger than life Romanian nobleman, that has torn himself through centuries and swum through oceans of blood, both when alive and undead, by sheer size and force of will. And again that’s not just by sight but also by sound – with his accent and speaking what I have read to be a reconstructed form of the ancient Dacian language of pre-Roman Romania. That’s how far back the Orlok of Eggers’ film goes…

As usual, Eggers excels in the atmospheric and visual nature of his films – with the use of darkness so palpable here that it is virtually a character in its own right (and indeed usually is as part of Orlok). Much of the film has a dream-like quality, or rather a quality of nightmare – not coincidentally as Orlok has the power to invade the dreams or minds of his victims, being as much like a lich as he is a vampire.

That’s helped by the dark blue-tinted scenes at night resembling the black and white of the original film but also by the frequent firelit smoky scenes. Even in daylight, the scenes seemed to have a sepia tone.

The only drawback is the naked virgin on horseback – I would have liked to see much more of her, or even a whole film about her as naked virgin vampire hunter. Apparently she was played by a Czech model Katerina Bila – you’re welcome.

Although that also did prompt me to missing an appearance by Eggers alumni Anya Taylor-Joy – she (or her body double) always likes to get naked in his films. Don’t get me wrong – while I have thing for Taylor-Joy with those fey eyes of hers and it would have been interesting to see what she did with the central role of Ellen, Lily Rose-Depp succeeds in bringing an ethereal, otherworldly nature to the role.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The most dark fantasy elements of any of his films except for The Witch – and writ more large even than that film.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

RATIRATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(8) DAVID LYNCH –

MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001)

 

This entry is to commemorate director David Lynch – who at the time of this entry only recently passed away (15 January 2025). Previously, I had awarded him special mention, but you know what? I like him being here in my top ten, particularly in a place above director Robert Eggers – the films of the latter always prompt my mind to David Lynch. I wouldn’t call them Lynchian as such – in some ways they’re the reverse with their attention to historical detail while the time period of the setting in Lynch’s films is often amorphous – but there’s a vibe there, particularly when the films of Eggers get dream-like.

Which brings me to the definitive and often touted quality of David Lynch’s films – their surreal dream-like nature. “He is considered one of the most influential filmmakers of his time for his idiosyncratic audiovisual style (since semi-formally dubbed “Lynchian”), as well as arguably the most popular director regularly associated with surrealism…his works’ utilization of dream logic”.

He does have some more straightforward films in his oeuvre but for the most part I like his films – at least my favorite films – to dreams. There’s kind of a logic to them, albeit the aforementioned dream logic that hazily drifts you along when not being a complete mind screw – but the sort of beautifully classy neo-noir dreams you wish you had rather than those of the inferior direction of your subconscious. Your subconscious that is, mind you, not mine – my subconscious is Lynchian.

I haven’t seen all his films (yet) – I guess I’ll have to now – but I have seen my Lynchian holy trinity of Blue Velvet, Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive. Blue Velvet is perhaps the most comprehensible in narrative, Lost Highway the biggest mind screw of them, and Mulholland Drive is somewhere in between the previous two.

My interpretation of Mulholland Drive – not original to me but the one with which I agree (and which seems to be reasonably common) – is (SPOILERS – if one can spoil a Lynch film, as their meanings tend to remain elusive by design) that the first half of the film is the wish fulfilment fantasy of Naomi Watt’s character from the second half of the film (in a dying dream).

My favorite part of the film is actually the subplot of the film director “who just can’t seem to catch a break” – among other things, he encounters The Cowboy (a title that prompts the director’s incredulous exclamation), who may or may not be the usual extra-dimensional supernatural being that pops up in the films of Lynch.

 

FANTASY

 

As per TV Tropes, most of his films or television fall into the genre of magical realism in some way or another – which is to say that they often “go into the realm of pure fantasy” a la Twin Peaks or “somewhere in between”. Surreal fantasy – they’re dreams after all.

 

COMEDY

 

Oh yes – but usually black or dark comedy. Or meta-humor, like a joke layered in a dream.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

One of the best movie poster images (for John Wick 2)

 

(7) JOHN WICK (2014 – PRESENT)

 

 “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back”

 

You sure are, John Wick, you sure are. You too, Keanu.

 

The best action franchise of the twenty-first century. There – I said it. Also one of the best roaring rampages of revenge and one-man armies on screen. Also some of the best poster designs.

 

I also dig the whole assassin mystique and mythos it’s got going, with its intricate rituals and rules, implausible as it all is – the implausibility just makes it more mythic! The Continental, the High Table, and so on. Although I suspect real hitmen are a lot less glamorous and a lot more seedy.

 

“Neo-noir action thriller franchise…set in a shadowy world of assassins and criminals”. I can’t resist quoting TV Tropes that “the films can be best described as what happens when Neo is reimagined in the real world as the deadliest assassin alive”.

 

It has been hailed as reviving the flagging action genre, not least due to its “choreographed sequences and practical effects that were filmed in long takes” – none of that quick cut shaky-cam crap. Also lots of gunplay and headshots – not that John needs a gun to kill anyone. A book, a pencil, a horse – anything will do.

 

This entry represents the franchise as whole – four films deep and spinoffs as at 2024 – but if I have to choose one, it would have to be the 2014 original film for the franchise at its freshest, albeit Chapter Four comes close in the sequels.

 

 

FANTASY & SF

 

That assassin mystique and mythos borders on fantasy, while John Wick’s skill and survivability borders on supernatural ability (as do the action sequences in general).

 

COMEDY

 

Surprisingly for a film set in the underworld of assassins, it hits some black and dry comedic beats.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The iconic James Bond gun barrel opening sequence

 

(6) JAMES BOND (1962 – PRESENT)

 

“Bond, James Bond”

A spy action film franchise that needs little more than its iconic protagonist’s own signature introduction.

Well, perhaps a little more introduction – James Bond codenamed 007 as British special agent of the 00 section of MI-6 (the 00 signifying licence to kill), created by Ian Fleming as protagonist of the books (and stories) that were the origin of the franchise.

There’s enough in the franchise not only for a top ten Bond films and special mentions (or alternatively a top ten worst Bond films) – twenty-seven films and counting as at 2024 – but also easily for a top ten elements or motifs of Bond mythos.

The Bond girls. The Bond villains – and their infamous flaws of monologuing (to Bond) or just not shooting Bond as opposed to convoluted death traps or schemes. (To borrow a quote from Family Guy – “Sure, you could kill me with your gun but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?”)

The Bond gadgets. The Bond cars. The Bond one-liners. The Bond action prologue – introduced with the Bond gun barrel sequence and concluding with the Bond title sequence (and song). The exotic Bond globetrotting. Shaken not stirred – Bond’s drinking habits and games of chance or skill. (I seem to recall that Fleming was also fond of sumptuous descriptions of Bond’s dining or food although that hasn’t been adapted as much into film).

The Bond secondary cast from MI-6 – M, Q and Moneypenny. Recurring Bond characters (or actors) in general. Bond’s allies – perhaps foremost among them his CIA contact Felix Leiter. For that matter, typically a climactic Bond action sequence with special forces allied to Bond assaulting the villain’s forces or lair – even IN SPACE!

Heck – you could just squeeze out enough James Bonds for a top ten James Bonds, with six actors having official portrayed the character and a seventh signed up. Yes – I know that leaves three short but in addition to counting Sean Connery at least twice (at least once more in addition to his original run for the unofficial Never Say Never and arguably also for Diamonds are Forever as yet another separate incarnation in the role), there’s also Barry Nelson and David Niven in different adaptations of Casino Royale.

At very least you could compile a top ten of his incredibly versatile proficiencies or skills, and for that matter his character traits or types. As per TV Tropes – “the Ace, the Charmer, the Deadpan Snarker, the Renaissance Man, the Man of Wealth and Taste, the One-Man Army, the Professional Killer, the Sociopathic Hero, the Alcoholic, the Orphan, and the man who can always find women but can never find love. Which of these traits are pushed to the forefront will depend on the tone of the movie in question.”

And that’s not to mention all the inspirations for and adaptations, imitations or parodies of the character, enough for their own top ten (and more) – in turn reflecting Bond himself “having become one of the most iconic and quintessential action heroes in fiction”, founding the “tuxedo and martini subgenre” while defining “most of modern spy fiction and much of the action genre”.

Dare I describe the Bond film franchise as the Roman Empire of film franchises, with its various rises and resurgences or declines and falls?

Playing with that, the first Sean Connery films would be the classical empire of the first and second centuries – at its archetypal height but not without its excesses.

George Lazenby (and Diamonds are Forever) might be likened to Rome in crisis after its classical zenith, although this is unfair not only to Lazenby’s performance but even more so his film On His Majesty’s Secret Service – which is a fine Bond film, with some of the finest elements of any Bond film. (Its Bond girl for one thing and its banging theme tune for another).

The early Roger Moore films would be the resurgent later empire after the crisis of the third century, before devolving into the campy later Roger Moore films in the decline and fall of that half of the franchise. Timothy Dalton and the early Pierce Brosnan films might be likened to the eastern empire, a little rough around the edges to start after the fall of the Moore franchise before their own resurgence – but collapsing with the later Brosnan films on a camp scale almost to the point of the later Moore films.

The Daniel Craig films would be the eastern empire bouncing back to its medieval heights, with a blunter and tougher protagonist (Bond the Bulgar Slayer, anyone?) before crumbling in turn.

Which brings me to the question of which Bond film to choose, if I have to choose one film above all others in this entry – it was a close call with Casino Royale, but I’d have to go with Goldfinger as the archetypal or definitive Bond film. Even if, much like Indiana Jones in the Raiders of the Lost Ark film, Bond doesn’t actually do anything in it to achieve the final result.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

No fantasy in Bond – other than the obvious lifestyle or wish fulfilment fantasy of its protagonist for Fleming and countless male fans since.

However, it does verge into SF territory in its technothriller edges – perhaps most notably in the Bond space adventures of You Only Live Twice and Moonraker

 

COMEDY

 

Do I need to mention those Bond one-liners again? Although the James Bond film franchise has always walked the line between its more serious dramatic elements and tendencies to camp humor bordering on self-parody – falling over that line in the later Moore and later Brosnan films.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Bruce Lee in his iconic pose from Enter the Dragon

 

(5) BRUCE LEE –

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

 

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The iconic martial arts action film by the iconic martial arts action film star.

And yes – the film may be somewhat cheesy at points, albeit not more so than other films in the 70s and which may also owe something to how much this film has blurred together with its superb parody A Fistful of Yen in the 1977 comedy sketch film Kentucky Fried Movie deep within my psyche. (The other thing deeply embedded in my psyche from that film is the sketch Catholic High School Girls in Trouble – “never has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited”).

But it is glorious, showcasing Bruce Lee – “the quintessential martial arts film star, particularly for action films set in contemporary times, a breakthrough star for Asian actors in Hollywood and widely considered one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century”.

So deeply has it embedded itself in my psyche that it has fostered a love of martial arts action films ever since – which I then consciously or subconsciously compare to Enter the Dragon. And for that matter a love of martial arts film stars ever since, particularly east Asian martial arts film stars. Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of martial arts action films (and film stars) in general.

As per TV Tropes, it is the martial arts action trope codifier – “since this movie, almost every other work of martial arts tournament fiction has borrowed from Enter The Dragon, particularly its usage of the main hero seeking revenge against the Big Bad in a fighting tournament in a faraway exotic location full of colorful villains and other supporting heroes with their own personal motives for entering”.

Of course, the whole concept of the martial arts tournament doesn’t hold up too well as a vanity project by a criminal organization – given the potential for exposing and jeopardizing the organization, at least to the very infiltration that is the plot of the film.

Nor for that matter does a criminal organization relying on training masses of minions in martial arts – another visually iconic element of martial arts films, moving and shouting in unison – instead of, you know, guns.

Finally, I have to give a chef’s kiss to yet another iconic element of martial arts films codified – the climactic showdown between protagonist and antagonist, strikingly displayed here in a mirrored maze.

 

FANTASY & SF

Not really here, but there’s always been a fine line between martial arts action films and fantasy in the mystical skill (or visions) of combatants – something which things like wuxia films and animated or anime series cross over. Not to mention the space Shaolin monks of Star Wars…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements, albeit not as prominent as other martial arts action films – notably those of Jackie Chan (who had a minor role in Enter the Dragon). It certainly has its comedic elements after you’ve seen A Fistful of Yen – such that you’ll never watch it in quite the same straight-faced fashion again – and it has been repeatedly parodied elsewhere.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY (1961-1966 & 1971-1988)

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Uma Thurman as the Bride in her most iconic appearance in Kill Bill – that yellow tracksuit (as well as motorcycle and helmet) a homage to that worn by Bruce Lee in his 1972 film Game of Death

 

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO –

KILL BILL (2003-2004)

 

“When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination… I am gonna KILL BILL”.

Quentin Tarantino – “his films are characterized by elements including recurring actors, non-linear storylines, stylized violence, black comedy, witty dialogue oft laced with pop culture references, trunk shots, close-ups on feet, especially women’s bare feet (don’t ask), and a volume of homages and shout-outs to other movies only attainable with an absurdly encyclopedic knowledge of film history”.

In fairness to the foot fetish thing, who wouldn’t cast themselves to drink off Salma Hayek’s feet?

Also a director whom I have to love for his dedication to a top ten in his own films, having famously declared his intention to retire after ten films, although we’re still awaiting that tenth film as of 2024.

As for which Tarantino film to choose for this entry, it was a close call – particularly with the film that brought him widespread acclaim, Pulp Fiction – but as my featured quote indicates, I have to go with Kill Bill.

“Kill Bill is the fourth (and fifth) film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, taking all his favorite things at that point in his career – westerns, samurai movies, martial arts, pop-culture references, actions girls, and bare feet – and combining them into one hell of a revenge drama”.

Or as the female protagonist best known simply as the Bride (or Black Mamba as a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) – although her name Beatrix Kiddo is dropped in the second film – played by Uma Thurman puts it in my featured quote, a roaring rampage of revenge. Indeed, one of the finest roaring rampages of revenge – and certainly top of my top ten roaring rampages of revenge.

Also it has one of my all-time favorite lines of cinema (note to self – compile a top ten lines of cinema) from legendary sword-maker Hattori Hanzo, played by Sonny Chiba, referring to the blade he made for the Bride – “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut”.

(And how! From what we see her do with it, I’d say he was right about that).

It consists of two films although I tend to follow Tarantino in his own classification of it as one film, given that it was conceived by him as such although the studio split it in two for length. Although if I had to choose between them, I’d have to go with the first film or Volume 1 for the sheer glorious frenzied action of the Bride’s fight with O-Ren Ishii and the Crazy 88 Gang. (Although you’d think that at some point, maybe just one of those Yakuza gangsters would, you know, pull a gun on the Bride).

And of course Gogo Yubari, etched deep in my psyche ever since with her portrayal by Japanese actress Chiaki Kuriyama – who also starred in cult classic Battle Royale, one of Tarantino’s favorite films.

 

FANTASY & SF

Interestingly, Tarantino has said that his films fall into one of two cinematic universes – “one being the more realistically grounded of them…and the other being a meta-fictional narrative which Tarantino says represents the kind of films the characters in his main cinematic universe would watch”, arguably with more fantastic or at least cinematic rule of cool elements. Kill Bill falls in the latter.

 

COMEDY

That signature Tarantino black comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

“Yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”

 

(2) COEN BROS –

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

The Dude abides.

Indeed, he abides in second place.  The Coen brothers – Joel and Ethan Coen – also abide as my favorite directors of film (albeit obviously not of my favorite film in top spot).

And yes – they have enough of a filmography for their own top ten films, but one that is impossible to categorize by genre or style apart from a blackly comedic and idiosyncratic quirky flair. “Their films span many genres and styles, which they frequently subvert or parody”.

While I enjoy all their films I’ve seen – even the weirder ones like Barton Fink and weaker ones like The Ladykillers – the holy trinity of their filmography for me would be The Big Lebowksi, O Brother Where Art Thou, and Intolerable Cruelty (although Fargo – film and television series – comes close).

And of these, the greatest is The Big Lebowksi – which despite a mixed reception and box office return at the time of its release – rose to cult classic status.

As TV Tropes describes, “it’s a bit hard to describe but let’s just call it a film noir parody”, albeit an affectionate one – particularly of Raymond Chandleresque noir detective stories set in L.A., with the title itself a nod to The Big Sleep.

Except of course for its Philip Marlowe protagonist, it’s slacker Jeff Lebowski – although he prefers to go by the Dude – played to perfection by Jeff Bridges. He’s not the titular Big Lebowksi however – and it’s the mix-up in identity between them that effectively gets the ball rolling on the plot. Well – that and also the Dude’s rug really tied the room together.

Again as per TV Tropes, “this being a Coen Brothers movie, though, the plot isn’t important. The driving force within the movie is the collection of various, bizarre, main and secondary (and tertiary!) characters, almost all of whom seem to come from completely different movies.”

Not least the film’s cowboy narrator, styled as The Stranger, played by Sam Elliott – giving us my featured quote, although the Dude himself takes a shine to it.

Oh – and of course, the Jesus.

But yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

FANTASY & SF

The filmography of the Coen brothers definitely dips into the fantasy genre with some of their more fantastic elements, although not enough that any of their films would be described as fantasy – particularly as those fantastic elements are more in the nature of dreams or trips, as in The Big Lebowksi

 

COMEDY

The kings of black comedy, dryly delivered.

The Big Lebowksi in particular could be outright classified as comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

One of the most iconic scenes in the film – and in film

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning…smells like victory.”

Yeah – this is the big one, the cinematic equivalent of Catch-22, lodged next to it deep within my psyche ever since seeing it (by happenstance at about the same time as reading Catch-22).

And not coincidentally, like Catch-22 also set in a war, except of course in the Vietnam war as opposed to the former’s Second World War, and similarly using the war as a backdrop for a story beyond the war itself – a satire of modern society in Catch-22 and an exploration of the human psyche on the edges of madness and beyond in Apocalypse Now.

While it is usually (and accurately) considered a war film, it is a psychological war film which could well have been set elsewhere – and indeed originally was, given that it is a very loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness from nineteenth century Africa to the Vietnam War. One might well quip that it was also a loose adaptation of the Vietnam War itself (to the American or human psyche).

Hence some of those who watch it expecting a more straightforward war or action film might be disappointed, particularly with its pacing – although I was entranced by it throughout when I first watched it, even in my adolescent days. Don’t get me wrong – it absolutely does have action scenes, indeed some of the most visually striking and iconic action scenes, hence my entrancement, but not quite in the pace or style of a contemporary action film blockbuster.

As per TV Tropes – “packed to the gills with now-iconic scenes and quotes, it is a common choice for not only the definitive anti-war movie but the definitive cinematic depiction of war not as battle, or even as purgatory but as an illogical fever dream”.

Illogical fever dream is overstating it – it has a coherent plot – but things definitely get wilder and trippier the further the protagonist and his squad go.

As for that protagonist and squad – again as per TV Tropes, “”special operations Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent to kill Walter E Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a Green Beret colonel who has gone mad and formed a personality cult in Cambodia”…Willard and his crew including George “Chief” Phillips (Albert Hall), Jay “Chef” Hicks (Frederic Forrest), Lance Johnson (Sam Bottoms) and Tryone “Mr Clean” Miller (a 14-year-old Laurence Fishburne) — go up a river and into the recesses of humanity.”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola at the height of his career, it’s a miracle the film was even made, let alone be this good, given a trouble production that’s almost as legendarily epic as the film itself. On that point – and perhaps not surprisingly given that production history – the original cinematic edit is definitely the best. While the ‘redux’ director’s cut has points of interest, Coppola definitely got it right for its original cinematic release.

I’ll conclude with Roger Ebert’s thoughts when adding it to his list of great movies – ” “What’s great in the film, and what will make it live for many years and speak to many audiences, is what Coppola achieves on the levels Truffaut was discussing: the moments of agony and joy in making cinema. Some of those moments occur at the same time; remember again the helicopter assault and its unsettling juxtaposition of horror and exhilaration. Remember the weird beauty of the massed helicopters lifting above the trees in the long shot, and the insane power of Wagner’s music, played loudly during the attack, and you feel what Coppola was getting at: Those moments as common in life as art, when the whole huge grand mystery of the world, so terrible, so beautiful, seems to hang in the balance,,,Apocalypse Now is the best Vietnam film, one of the greatest of all films, because it pushes beyond the others, into the dark places of the soul. It is not about war so much as about how war reveals truths we would be happy never to discover.”

 

FANTASY & SF

It’s trippier moments border on some dark fantasy but no – it remains grounded in the mundane reality of our world. Or at least as mundane as the Vietnam War got.

Although it is tempting to conflate, as Kim Newman did in a short story, Coppola’s Apocalypse Now and Coppola’s Dracula film – with Harker as Willard and his crew of vampire hunters on a gunboat upriver into Transylvania…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements – some of the blackest and driest in film perhaps but they are there, at least according to my sense of humor. Definitely not a comedy though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

 

FILM: TOP 10 (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW

(2) COEN BROS – THE BIG LEBOWSKI

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO – KILL BILL

Like Tarantino, I regard the two volumes as one film but if I have to choose – Vol 1.

 

If Apocalypse Now is my Old Testament of film, The Big Lebowski and Kill Bill (or the Coen Brothers and Tarantino in general) are my New Testament.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD – THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY

His two iconic roles – if I have to choose between them, I’ll go with Dirty Harry (and the first film). After all, he’s the model for Judge Dredd.

(5) BRUCE LEE – ENTER THE DRAGON

(6) JAMES BOND

As for which film – Goldfinger as the film that defines the franchise.

(7) JOHN WICK

Yes – all four films (and counting). As for which is the best among them, the fourth film comes close but the first film remains the definitive film for me.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(8) DAVID LYNCH – MULHOLLAND DRIVE

(9) ROBERT EGGERS – NOSFERATU

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(10) DAVID LEITCH – THE FALL GUY

 

My wildcard tenth place entry for 2024 goes to The Fall Guy. In something of a departure from my usual rule, it wasn’t the best or my favorite film from 2024 – that’s Robert Eggers’ Nosferatu, but as that is more dark fantasy or horror, The Fall Guy might be counted as the best non-genre film from 2024. And it replaces Bullet Train as my previous entry for David Leitch.

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (new entry) (8) David Lynch – Mulholland Drive (2001)

Posted on by

 

(8) DAVID LYNCH –

MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001)

 

This entry is to commemorate director David Lynch – who at the time of this entry only recently passed away (15 January 2025). Previously, I had awarded him special mention, but you know what? I like him being here in my top ten, particularly in a place above director Robert Eggers – the films of the latter always prompt my mind to David Lynch. I wouldn’t call them Lynchian as such – in some ways they’re the reverse with their attention to historical detail while the time period of the setting in Lynch’s films is often amorphous – but there’s a vibe there, particularly when the films of Eggers get dream-like.

Which brings me to the definitive and often touted quality of David Lynch’s films – their surreal dream-like nature. “He is considered one of the most influential filmmakers of his time for his idiosyncratic audiovisual style (since semi-formally dubbed “Lynchian”), as well as arguably the most popular director regularly associated with surrealism…his works’ utilization of dream logic”.

He does have some more straightforward films in his oeuvre but for the most part I like his films – at least my favorite films – to dreams. There’s kind of a logic to them, albeit the aforementioned dream logic that hazily drifts you along when not being a complete mind screw – but the sort of beautifully classy neo-noir dreams you wish you had rather than those of the inferior direction of your subconscious. Your subconscious that is, mind you, not mine – my subconscious is Lynchian.

I haven’t seen all his films (yet) – I guess I’ll have to now – but I have seen my Lynchian holy trinity of Blue Velvet, Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive. Blue Velvet is perhaps the most comprehensible in narrative, Lost Highway the biggest mind screw of them, and Mulholland Drive is somewhere in between the previous two.

My interpretation of Mulholland Drive – not original to me but the one with which I agree (and which seems to be reasonably common) – is (SPOILERS – if one can spoil a Lynch film, as their meanings tend to remain elusive by design) that the first half of the film is the wish fulfilment fantasy of Naomi Watt’s character from the second half of the film (in a dying dream).

My favorite part of the film is actually the subplot of the film director “who just can’t seem to catch a break” – among other things, he encounters The Cowboy (a title that prompts the director’s incredulous exclamation), who may or may not be the usual extra-dimensional supernatural being that pops up in the films of Lynch.

 

FANTASY

 

As per TV Tropes, most of his films or television fall into the genre of magical realism in some way or another – which is to say that they often “go into the realm of pure fantasy” a la Twin Peaks or “somewhere in between”. Surreal fantasy – they’re dreams after all.

 

COMEDY

 

Oh yes – but usually black or dark comedy. Or meta-humor, like a joke layered in a dream.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (Revised) (10) Robert Eggers – Nosferatu

Posted on by

Theatrical release poster

 

 

(10) ROBERT EGGERS –

NOSFERATU (2024)

 

“He is coming”

My wildcard tenth place entry in my Top 10 Films as best film of 2024.

Yes, I know that I should technically include it in one of my genre film top ten lists – specifically my Top 10 Horror Films (although I will certainly add it to my special mention for vampire horror films) – but I’m substituting it for my previous Eggers entry in this top ten, The Northman.

Although come to think of it, there’s something of a running theme for horror or at least dark fantasy elements in all four of the films Eggers has directed so far – The Northman had arguably the fewest such elements, but Nosferatu follows on from the atmospheric horror of his first film The Witch, aptly enough as Nosferatu has been a passion project Eggers has had bubbling since then and he intended it to be his second film.

If there’s one thing for which Eggers is known, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

He did it with The Witch, he did it with The Northman, and he did it here in his Gothic horror passion project. Indeed, I’d argue that he did it best here – for one thing he has the dark fantasy elements to play with from vampire folklore and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing that is arguably a side effect of his world-immersion to make his best paced film yet.

If you know Dracula – particularly the book – you know the central plot of this film. Nosferatu is a remake of the 1922 German silent film of the same name (also remade by Werner Herzog as the 1979 German film Nosferatu the Vampire which is the version I saw). That film in turn was based on the book Dracula, transferred to Germany (instead of England) with the names of characters changed to avoid copyright, most notably the titular vampire renamed to Count Orlok.

Forget the more suave depictions of Dracula or indeed any vampire – Count Orlok as he appeared in the original film (and the 1979 remake) was a distinctively grotesque figure, albeit perhaps unintentionally comic at times.

However, forget that unintentionally comic appearance at times here – as played by Bill Skarsgard (upping the ante on his previous eldritch horror depiction of Pennywise), Orlok is still grotesque but also a towering and terrifying figure of apocalyptic plague, literal and metaphorical. And that’s not just by sight but also by sound – with his reverberating, sepulchral voice.

He’s also gloriously moustachioed, evoking the appearance of Dracula in the book – in turn drawn from the original Dracula, Vlad Tepes or Vlad the Impaler. You certainly get the impression of a literally larger than life Romanian nobleman, that has torn himself through centuries and swum through oceans of blood, both when alive and undead, by sheer size and force of will. And again that’s not just by sight but also by sound – with his accent and speaking what I have read to be a reconstructed form of the ancient Dacian language of pre-Roman Romania. That’s how far back the Orlok of Eggers’ film goes…

As usual, Eggers excels in the atmospheric and visual nature of his films – with the use of darkness so palpable here that it is virtually a character in its own right (and indeed usually is as part of Orlok). Much of the film has a dream-like quality, or rather a quality of nightmare – not coincidentally as Orlok has the power to invade the dreams or minds of his victims, being as much like a lich as he is a vampire.

That’s helped by the dark blue-tinted scenes at night resembling the black and white of the original film but also by the frequent firelit smoky scenes. Even in daylight, the scenes seemed to have a sepia tone.

The only drawback is the naked virgin on horseback – I would have liked to see much more of her, or even a whole film about her as naked virgin vampire hunter. Apparently she was played by a Czech model Katerina Bila – you’re welcome.

Although that also did prompt me to missing an appearance by Eggers alumni Anya Taylor-Joy – she (or her body double) always likes to get naked in his films. Don’t get me wrong – while I have thing for Taylor-Joy with those fey eyes of hers and it would have been interesting to see what she did with the central role of Ellen, Lily Rose-Depp succeeds in bringing an ethereal, otherworldly nature to the role.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The most dark fantasy elements of any of his films except for The Witch – and writ more large even than that film.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Horror Films (Special Mention – Complete)

Posted on by

One of the most iconic silhouettes in horror film history – Count Orlok from the 1922 German film Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror directed by F.W. Murnau, essentially a version of Dracula

 

“Horror is a genre of fiction that exploits the primal fears of viewers” – “that seeks to elicit fear or disgust in its audience for entertainment purposes”.

It’s also a genre in which I watch a lot of films, so I don’t just have a Top 10 Horror Films – I also have my usual twenty special mentions for my top tens, including sub-genre or thematic entries as about half (or more) of my special mentions.

 

Poster art for the 1979 Alien film with one of the most iconic SF horror film taglines – “In space no one can hear you scream.”

 

(1) SF HORROR (BODY HORROR & COSMIC HORROR)

 

My preferred horror films tend to be supernatural or SF horror, but I tend to rank the latter as SF rather than horror.

The dividing line is partly my idiosyncratic opinion that the science fiction elements predominate in SF, such as where the sources of horror are aliens or time-travelling killer robots, but is also partly to preserve the SF entries in my Top 10 Fantasy and SF Films.

Alien, The Terminator, and The Thing are my holy trinity of SF horror but since they are all entries in my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films I won’t feature them again here.

Well, except to note that Alien was essentially haunted house horror IN SPACE, with a spaceship for a haunted house (neatly solving the so-called haunted house problem of why the protagonists simply don’t leave the house) and the titular xenomorph for the ghost. In a sense the whole franchise is this in one way or another.

The Thing is also another alien haunted house horror story, except with an Antarctic base as haunted house – with the haunted house problem posed by the onset of winter as well as by seeking to avoid the Thing infecting the outside world.

Alien and The Thing also illustrate the subgenres of body horror and cosmic horror that recur with SF horror.

The Terminator was essentially robot slasher horror – okay, technically cyborg slasher horror.

 

I’ll probably flesh this out (heh) but for now my SF horror top ten on the spot (consisting of entries not featured in my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Horror Films):

 

 

1 JOHN CARPENTER – THEY LIVE (1988)

 

Of course, John Carpenter’s SF horror magnum opus is The Thing (featured in my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films) but I had to feature him here with this entry as one of my two leading SF horror directors.

 

Which brings me to my next entry…

 

2 DAVID CRONENBERG – THE FLY (1986)

 

Yes, it’s a remake – but what an entry! Also representative of David Cronenberg, the other of my two leading SF horror directors – and whose work embodies (heh) body horror, so much so that Rick and Morty referenced it (as Cronenberging their world when they turn Earth into a population of body horror monstrosities).

 

3 – INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978)

 

Yes – the original was in 1956 (based on the 1954 novel by Jack Finney and symbolic of Cold War paranoia) but this is my favorite of the “franchise”, particularly for its downer ending (with that shriek).

 

4 – PREDATOR (1987)

 

Probably more people think of this film and its subsequent franchise as SF action, but the Predator is essentially an alien slasher stalking humans for prey – not unlike the franchise with its audience at this point.

 

5 – TREMORS (1990)

 

Like the previous entry, probably more people think of this film (and its franchise) as comedic SF action but there’s enough of a horror element for me to count it.

 

6 – THE FACULTY (1998)

 

Fun spin on The Thing in a high school – including a fun spin on that blood sample test for the Thing.

 

7 – SLITHER (2006)

 

James Gunn does an SF horror alien invasion – with doses of body and cosmic horror.

 

8 – CLOVERFIELD / 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE (2008-2016)

 

I’m counting these as the same franchise for production rather than plot – the first is upated alien kaiju horror, the second is survival horror with one hell of a twist at the end.

 

9 – LIFE (2017)

 

Ah, Calvin – you rubbery rascal. Essentially another alien haunted house horror story IN SPACE.

 

10 – A QUIET PLACE (2018-2024)

 

Shhh – essentially alien slasher horror stalking by sound.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

Screenshot of Christopher Lee as Dracula in the 1958 film (public domain image from Internet Archive)

 

 

(2) VAMPIRE HORROR

 

Vampire horror films originate among the first horror films – and indeed in the dawn of the film industry itself.

My pet theory is that this is the product of happy coincidence between the publication (and popularity) of Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1897 and the origins of the film entertainment industry, particularly in Hollywood.

Dracula was theatrical in its very conception – not surprisingly given Stoker’s background in theatre – and hence readily cinematic for adaptation. Dracula often reads like a play – and indeed Stoker himself adapted it as one in its first year of publication.

After that, you have the 1922 film Nosferatu directed by F.W. Murnau, infamous as essentially a version of Dracula with the serial numbers filed off, before the iconic cinematic incarnation of Dracula with Bela Lugosi in the title role in 1931.

From there, the rest is vampire horror film history – whether featuring Dracula himself (including Christopher Lee being as iconic in the role as Lugosi) or any number of vampires drawn from an almost infinite variety of vampire folklore, including the folklore attached to Dracula in the novel or its adaptations.

As with my SF horror special mention, I’ll probably flesh this out but for now my vampire horror film top ten on the spot:

 

1 – LET ME IN (2010)

 

Presently sixth place in my Top 10 Horror Films – you can read more about it (and vampire horror films in general) there

 

2 – THE HUNGER (1983)

 

One of the more ‘artsy’ vampire horror films out there – with a cast of beautiful people (Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon). Based (loosely) on a novel by Whitley Streiber, it features a love triangle between a doctor specialising in ageing research and a vampire couple.

 

3 – THE KEEP (1983)

 

Vampires and Nazis – what more do you want? How about Gandalf vs Dracula? (Well, before Gandalf facing off with Dracula actor Christopher Lee as Saruman in the Jackson Lord of the Ring films).

Okay – technically it’s not a vampire (or Dracula) but something posing as one, adapted from the novel by F. Scott Wilson. Still, I’m counting it as another of the more ‘artsy’ vampire horror films out there, albeit somewhat lacking in coherence for anything but cult following. Some big names among its actors – including Ian McKellan obviously for my Gandalf vs Dracula joke.

 

4 – FRIGHT NIGHT (1985)

 

Probably my favorite vampire film to watch – classic pulp fun! What do you do when a vampire becomes your next door neighbor? Call on the celebrity film vampire hunter turned late night horror TV host, of course.

 

5 – THE LOST BOYS (1987)

 

Classic 80s vampire film, albeit trying a little too much too be cool for my taste and not as fun as Fright Night, that other classic 1980s vampire film.

 

6 – LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988)

 

Stoker strikes again! A film adapted from his 1911 novel – I suspect very loosely, borrowing from his more famous novel to feature snake-vampires in a pagan cult to a snake-god. Snakes for the snake-god! Slither in!

 

Directed by Ken Russell in his characteristic controversial flamboyant or psychedelic style – not to mention kinky, hence coiling itself deep in my psyche

 

7 – BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA (1992)

 

Apocalypse Now in Transylvania!

(Amusingly, Kim Newman did a short story doing just that inspired by the film).

Yes – that’s a quip based on the same director, Francis Ford Coppola, but captures the same cinematic visual style he brought to both. Also – it wouldn’t take too much to rewrite it as Apocalypse Now, except going upriver in Transylvania to take out Dracula.

That said – it’s still my favorite cinematic adaptation of Dracula, albeit playing somewhat loose with the novel at times, and Gary Oldham assumes a place close to Lugosi and Lee as iconic depictions of Dracula.

 

8 – FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996)

 

A vampire horror film by Robert Rodriguez (and Tarantino) so iconic that it has spawned a whole franchise – mostly lacklustre film sequels but I liked the TV series adaptation.

Gangster criminals on the run in Mexico vs stripper vampires? What more could you want? Well, apart from Salma Hayek’s Santanico Pandemonium, whose snake dance will be hot-branded in my psyche forever.

 

9 – 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)

 

Technically this should be in my comic book films as it is based on a comic series of the same name but it’s one of my favorite vampire horror films to watch so I’m ranking it here instead.

The title says the plot and premise – vampire congregate on the Alaskan town of Barrow for an all you can eat buffet opportunity of the titular thirty days of night in the depths of winter.

 

10 – ABIGAL (2024)

 

My present wildcard tenth place entry in my Top 10 Horror Films as best horror film of 2024 – you can read about it there.

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(2000) SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE

 

Speaking of F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu, the premise of this film is that it got a lot more real than you’d think. Willem Dafoe shines as usual, as does John Malkovich.

 

(2021) BLOOD RED SKY

 

Putting the red into red-eye flight when hijackers take a plane with a surprise among the passengers.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

Public domain image from George Romero’s 1968 Night of the Living Dead

 

(3) ZOMBIE HORROR & ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HORROR

 

“Braaaiinnnns!”

If vampire horror is the blood of horror films, zombie horror is the flesh.

Zombie horror films, tending as they do to involve the trope (or tropes) of zombie apocalypse have become so prolific as to define their own film genre, one worthy of their own top ten list many times over just for their themes, tropes and types.

One thing that surprised me looking it up was that they originate almost as early as Dracula or vampire films – with the first zombie film often cited as White Zombie in 1932.

That surprised me as one usually associates zombies – at least in their cinematic incarnation as opposed to their origin “in the vodou beliefs of Haiti, referring to a body ‘revived’ and enslaved by a sorcerer” – with George A. Romero’s 1968 film Night of the Living Dead.

That film defined the cinematic incarnation of zombies – “usually portrayed as reanimated corpses or virally infected human beings” and commonly “cannibalistic in nature” (or “ghouls” as Romero preferred to call them in that film). Usually depicted as shambling en masse, invoking metaphors of mobs or proletarian masses.

However, “while Romero is responsible for most of the ‘general’ zombie conventions, the more specific and visible zombie tropes are more often inspired by the later works of John Russo, Night‘s co-writer. Most zombie movies mix-and-match conventions from the Romero and Russo canons. The Russo canon in particular…is the reason most people will respond with “Braaiinnnns” when zombies come up in conversation”.

Zombie horror films have subsequently ramped up the traditional slow zombies with fast ones – “super-fast and super-angry zombies” that make death (or viral infection) look like a positive boon for Olympic-level athletic performance, better than steroids. Not to mention other elite zombies, with other qualities such as intelligence.

 

Similarly to vampire horror, I’ll probably flesh this out but for now this is my zombie horror film top ten on the spot:

 

1 – EVIL DEAD (1981-1992 / 2013-2023)

 

Not really zombie horror as such since the titular evil dead are killed and reanimated by demonic possession…but I can’t not mention my favorite horror film franchise here now, can I? Particularly when there is a large overlap between the two, not least the reanimated corpses

 

2 – DEAD & BURIED (1981)

 

Fourth place in my top ten horror films – like the Evil Dead film franchise, not quite your archetypal cinematic zombies but close enough I have to mention it here

 

3 – SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004)

 

“Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over”.

Similar to my third place vampire horror entry Fright Night, Shaun of the Dead is probably my favorite zombie horror film to watch – classic pulp fun, but incredibly layered with easter eggs and shout-outs to zombie apocalypse horror.

Billed as a RomZomCom – or romantic comedy with zombies.

 

4 – 28 DAYS LATER (2002)

 

Arguably the most definitive modern zombie horror film after Romero and Russo – certainly bringing new life (heh) to the fast zombie trope. It helps speed them up that the zombies aren’t actually dead but virally infected. Also like other zombie apocalypse films in general that show the real enemy is not so much the zombies as one’s fellow humans – here it’s animal rights activists (and children in the sequel film 28 Weeks Later). Okay, fine – it’s also mad horny soldiers (and sheer military ineptitude on the same level of having a button marked push for zombies in the sequel).

But seriously, animal rights activists are to blame for the release of the virus in the first place. In fairness, I also blame the scientist for obtusely telling them the laboratory chimpanzees are infected with “rage” rather than a lethally contagious disease that can spread in seconds. It practically begs the skeptical response – “Yeah, I’d be pretty angry too!”

 

5 – LAST TRAIN TO BUSAN (2016)

 

Zombies on a train!

East Asian film and TV – in this case Korean film – have taken to the zombie genre with a vengeance.

 

6 – BRAIN DEAD (1990)

 

Before Peter Jackson did The Lord of the Rings, he did splatterpunk schlock like this – and it’s a hoot.

 

7 – CEMETERY MAN / DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE (1994)

 

Probably the most ”artsy” zombie horror film you’ll see (with Anna Falchi as one of the hottest female characters in a zombie film) – good luck keeping track of the plot.

 

8 – ZOMBIELAND (2009)

 

One of the better known zombie apocalypse films – and one of the most fun to watch.

 

9 – CARGO (2017)

 

Australian zombie horror films are surprisingly prevalent – this is one of the more highbrow (and emotional) ones, starring Martin Freeman

 

10 – ALIVE (2020)

 

Another fun zombie apocalypse horror film from Korea, using its highrise setting to good effect.

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(1988) THE SERPENT & THE RAINBOW

 

Stretching the definition of zombie horror film – going back to the origins of the zombie in Haitian vodou belief.

 

(2003-2014) UNDEAD & WYRMWOOD

 

More Australian zombie horror films – if Cargo is the highbrow end of the spectrum, these are more to the lowbrow end (and filmed on shoestring budgets to match). Pulp fun!

 

(2007) PLANET TERROR

 

Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino do for zombies what they did for vampires in From Dusk Till Dawn.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

One of the most iconic images of religious horror – Damien – from one of the two most iconic religious horror films – The Omen

 

 

(4) RELIGIOUS HORROR

 

The original horror, preceding horror in film and indeed as old as dirt – horror in religion, with the source of the horror as the antagonistic supernatural beings of that religion.

Of course, in Western popular culture, that religion is Christianity – usually defaulting to Catholicism, as tacit acknowledgement that it is the one branch of Christianity that can go toe for toe with the forces of evil and look good doing it. I’m joking and serious – serious about that last part, due to the visually iconic nature of Catholicism. There’s even a trope named for it – Christianity is Catholic. That is, when Christianity is depicted onscreen, it will tend to be Catholic.

Hence the supernatural beings will usually be the Devil, demons or other forces of Hell – with exorcism and possession often featuring prominently as the opposing sides of the battlefield.

It’s also the original horror for me personally, thanks to being raised in a religion in childhood, although I wouldn’t say it was religious as such – more just the usual background tribal culture in which people grow up. However, by my childhood logic, I figured that everything else bad could be traced to the Big Bad itself, so my biggest childhood fear was the Devil.

I grew out of it but The Exorcist and The Omen – which for me will always be the two leading religious horror films – still invoke something of that childhood fear to scare me sh*tless, even with a few drinks to soften them up.

Yes – there’s other religious horror films, enough for their own top ten, but those two are the biggest, perhaps with Rosemary’s Baby as a distant third for the unholy trinity of religious horror.

And yes – even now there’s enough of that residual childhood fear for me to know better than to talk about the details of those films, just as I also know better than to much around with ouija boards (with one playing a prominent role in The Exorcist).

Okay, okay – here’s my Religious Horror top ten on the spot

 

1 – THE OMEN (1976)

 

Damien!

Antichrist horror.

And yes – it spawned a franchise. The first two sequels were okay enough but none equalled the first film. 2024 saw The First Omen as a decent prequel.

 

2 – THE EXORCIST (1973)

 

Another franchise – the title gives you the basic premise.

 

3 – ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968)

 

More Antichrist horror

 

4 – AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)

 

Iconic haunted house horror – or rather, possessed house horror. Also spawned a franchise.

 

5 – THE CONJURING (2013)

 

More haunted or possessed house horror. Yet another franchise – I’m also counting the Annabelle and Nun spinoffs, the latter being even more religious horror than the Conjuring

 

6 – ANGEL HEART (1986)

 

Seemingly starts off as film noir, ends up as religious horror. Nice turn by Robert De Niro as (spoiler alert) the Devil – going by the transparent moniker Louis Cypher.

 

7 – THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE (2005)

 

More exorcism horror

 

8 – PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007)

 

More haunted house horror – or rather, haunted family horror. Also spawned a franchise.

 

9 – HEREDITARY (2018)

 

More haunted family horror

 

10 – LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL (2023)

 

Sadly not Satan hosting a late night TV show but that’s close enough to the premise for the film

 

HONORABLE MENTION:

 

(1997 – 1999) THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE  & END OF DAYS

 

Not really horror – more supernatural thriller, hence the honorable mention. There was just a thing about the upcoming millennium that saw these two films with the similar premise of an apocalyptic plot for the birth of the Antichrist.

 

(1998) FALLEN

 

A serial killer turns out to be something else

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DEVIL-TIER?)

 

Classic film poster art for The Wicker Man

 

 

(5) FOLK HORROR

 

“Who are these coming to the sacrifice?”

Folk horror is a subgenre of horror fiction or film – indeed, arguably a sub-genre of religious horror, except based on elements of folklore, supernatural or otherwise, “to invoke fear and foreboding”.

“Typical elements include a rural setting, isolation, and themes of superstition, folk religion, paganism, sacrifice and the dark aspects of nature”.

The original “unholy trinity” identified as folk horror were three British films in the 1960s-1970s – Witchfinder General (1968), The Blood on Satan’s Claw (1971) and my own personal archetype of folk horror (as well as second favorite horror film of all time), The Wicker Man (1973).

The phrase folk horror was popularized by the BBC documentary A History of Horror in 2010 by director Piers Haggard for his film The Blood on Satan’s Claw in an interview with Mark Gatiss – in which he invoked the unholy trinity.

Subsequently, there’s been a “folk horror revival” of the subgenre in film in the 2010s and 2020s – while fok horror has consistently been the default genre of horror in Southeast Asian film.

It’s tight (and I have to squint a bit at some films to make them fit) but I can just squeeze out a Folk Horror top ten on the spot – and even a few special mentions.

 

1 – THE WICKER MAN (1973)

 

The archetypal folk horror film, eerie and otherworldly without any supernatural elements. Second place in my Top 10 Horror Films

 

2 – THE RITUAL (2017)

 

Folk horror in Sweden – definitely with a supernatural element. Ninth place in my Top 10 Horror Films, riding on the back of its supernatural antagonist.

 

3 – MIDSOMMAR (2019)

 

Brightly lit Swedish folk horror – replaying many of the same beats of The Wicker Man, similarly with no supernatural element.

 

4 – ROBERT EGGERS – THE WITCH (2015)

 

All of Robert Eggers’ films have had a folk horror vibe so far – but none more so than The Witch, with the most supernatural element. Overlaps with Christian religious horror in Puritan America.

 

5 – GARETH EVANS – THE APOSTLE (2018)

 

A surprising change of direction (heh) to supernatural folk horror by Evans after the martial arts action of The Raid. I’d have ranked it higher if it had included the signature Raid cast.

 

6 – PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK (1975)

 

“Miranda!”

Light on the horror (as opposed to mystery) but the film is cited as eerie and otherworldly Australian folk horror centered around the titular landmark. The mystery at its heart is left unanswered but suggests the supernatural (which turned out to be true according to the answer to the mystery in the final chapter eventually published by the author of the book on which it is based – and a little underwhelming).

Also how has this not had an adult film parody version (well, apart from being too “artsy” and niche a film)? There’s naughty schoolgirls – and the title basically writes itself.

 

7 – DEAD AND BURIED (1981)

 

I featured it in my zombie horror top ten. Perhaps somewhat light on the folk part of its American setting (which is borrowed from folk religion elsewhere) but this film definitely has a folk horror vibe to it – and supernatural to boot

 

8 – CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)

 

I featured in my King horror top ten but it’s also American folk horror – with a supernatural element

 

9 – LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988)

 

Featured in my vampire top ten, it’s also folk horror with its surviving pagan Roman cult with its snake god (with a thing for Christian virgins and characteristic psychedelic imagery by director Ken Russell)

 

10 – THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW (1988)

 

Featured in my zombie horror top ten – it’s also Haitian folk horror

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

1 – EVIL DEAD

 

My top horror film – also featured in my zombie top ten. It’s not folk horror as such but could easily be tweaked to be, particularly as a cult to the Necronomicon – and occasionally folk horror elements pop up in the franchise

 

2 – FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

 

Featured in my vampire horror top ten, it’s not folk horror but has some elements suggestive of it, especially in that closing shot panning out from the Aztec pyramid at the back of the strip club – and in elements of the TV series

 

3 – ASIAN HORROR

 

Preempting an upcoming special mention – as noted above, folk horror is the default mode of Southeast Asian horror films, and not too far some most East Asian horror either

 

4 BEN WHEATLEY

 

A director whose films have been a large part of the twenty-first century folk horror revival – I’d probably rank him in my top ten if I could find his films to stream and watch

 

5 – BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

 

Unlike Ben Wheatley, I have seen the Blair Witch Project…but kinda wish I hadn’t. It is American folk horror though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

2010 film poster

 

(6) SLASHER HORROR

 

“Here, we can see a slasher movie killer in their natural habitat, stalking the final girl.”

I tend to prefer other sub-genres of horror to slasher horror but the latter is so iconic of the horror film genre in general that I have to rank it in my S-tier or god-tier special mentions, particularly with the iconic visual design of their slashers.

Also, like zombie horror films, they have become so prolific as to define their own film genre, one worthy of their own top ten list many times over just for their themes, tropes and types, as well as by iconic slasher.

Interestingly, on the subject of type, according to Wikipedia “the slasher canon can be divided into three eras: the classical (1974–1993), the self-referential (1994–2000) and the neoslasher cycle (2000–2013)”.

Given my preference for supernatural (or SF) horror, I tend to prefer the more supernatural slashers. More overtly supernatural slashers that is, as all slashers tend towards supernatural – at least in terms of their superhuman ability to, well, slash, stalk, and all other ancillary abilities associated with them.

It’s like the film Taken – slashers tend to have a very particular set of skills. Hmm…now there’s a story idea concept, Taken as slasher film (or vice versa from the slasher’s perspective).

“The killers, mostly driven by revenge, are also typically somewhat made of iron, at a minimum, and frequently implacable to boot. Slashers prefer melee weapons that let them get up close and personal with their victims and almost never use firearms. Many are borderline (or explicitly) supernatural, having the ability to appear and disappear as if by magic. The corpses of their victims tend to be equally elusive; a slasher killer can whisk away a fully-grown adult’s body in seconds, leaving not a single drop of blood behind, or swiftly arrange all their victims into an elaborate tableau, without ever being seen lugging the dead bodies around”.

Anyway, here’s my Top 10 Slasher Films (and their iconic slashers) on the spot.

 

1 – WES CRAVEN – NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (FREDDY KRUEGER)

 

My favorite slasher film franchise – the combination of slasher horror with supernatural dream-haunting demon is hard to beat. Wes Craven has also proved one of the more capable directors as creators of slasher horror (and horror in general)

While iconic, Freddy is not the most iconic slasher – that title has to go to the duo of my next two entries

 

2 – JOHN CARPENTER – HALLOWEEN (MICHAEL MYERS)

 

That iconic William Shatner mask. And hello again, Mr Carpenter.

 

3 – FRIDAY THE 13TH (JASON VORHEES)

 

That iconic hockey mask

 

4 – TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (LEATHERFACE)

 

Title says it all really – as does the slasher’s nom de slash.

 

5 – WES CRAVEN – SCREAM (GHOSTFACE)

 

Hello again, Mr Craven. Yeah – we’re very much in the self-referential phase of slasher canon here, with Scream as its definitive franchise

 

6 – CHILD’S PLAY (CHUCKY)

 

If a dream-demon like Freddy Kreuger can be a slasher, why not a possessed doll. Well, apart from the size thing, which makes Chucky a little hard to take seriously – hence why he’s not in the top iconic slashers

 

7 – WES CRAVEN – THE HILLS HAVE EYES

 

Hello again, Mr Craven. I’ll rank this here – namely because of the lack of a similarly iconic slasher among its hillbilly mutant cannibal tribe (and also because said tribe strays somewhat from the archetypal slasher film)

 

8 – I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

 

A distant second to the Scream franchise as representative of the self-referential phase of slasher canon – also that hook guy just doesn’t have the same iconic status or visual design as the top slashers

 

9 – SAW

 

Yes – less slasher and more torture p0rn but I’m still ranking it here as close enough, if only for the iconic puppet used by the killer.

 

10 – WOLF CREEK

 

Australian slasher horror!

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

PSYCHO

 

Precursor and inspiration for slasher horror – it also gives us an iconic horror figure with Norman Bates

 

THE HITCHER

 

As I rank it in my Top 10 Horror Films and it definitely overlaps with slasher horror, I have to give it a shout out here.

 

SILENCE OF THE LAMBS & AMERICAN PSYCHO

Two of the most (in)famous serial killers in cinema – Hannibal Lecter and Patrick Bateman – influenced and an influence on slasher horror films, although they obviously depart from the slasher archetype in a number of ways.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

“Here’s Johnny!” – the iconic scene from The Shining

 

(7) KING HORROR

 

King horror – Stephen King horror, that is, for the cinematic adaptations from one of the most iconic and prolific horror writers of our time. Images, lines and scenes from his work reverberate throughout popular culture, particularly driven by their cinematic or screen adaptations.

There’s something of a trope that goes around that his work makes for bad cinematic adaptations. This trope seems wrong to me – the more correct statement would be that the cinematic adaptations are mixed. A number of films from his work are good or well regarded – hence this special mention – “while many others are not”.

Of course much depends on the director but one rule of thumb I have is that the better movies are based on his shorter or tighter works. Like most screen adaptations of literary works, the longer the book the messier the adaptation gets. Not too short though – short stories can have too little substance to them for a feature length film.

And for the worst Stephen King cinematic adaptation ever – The Lawnmower Man – they didn’t even use what little substance they had from the titular story for a feature film, choosing instead to go off on their own weird jaunt based on a single (misplaced) line. The film became notorious for King suing it to remove his name from it.

Anyway, here’s my King horror cinematic top ten on the spot:

 

1 – THE SHINING (1980)

 

“Here’s Johnny!”

Probably THE King horror film adaptation that everyone loves – ironically as King himself is not a fan given the different direction (heh) in which Stanley Kubrick took the film.

 

2 – CARRIE (1976)

 

It’s not nice to make fun of Carrie…it’s not safe either.

That’s the tagline I recall for the film. With a strong cast including Sissy Spacek in the titular role and taut direction by Brian De Palma, the film is consistently ranked a high place among King adaptations – even more so because it was the adaptation that allowed King to become a full time writer.

 

3 – CUJO (1983)

 

Who’s a good boy? Well, he was until…

 

4 – CHRISTINE (1983)

 

Probably the most famous possessed car in popular culture.

Well hello again, Mr Carpenter – although King himself wasn’t a fan of the film.

 

5 – CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)

 

He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

The first film was a cracker, based on the short story by King. The sequels or franchise? Not so much.

 

6 – PET SEMATARY (1989)

 

“No fair”

A monkey’s paw of a movie – in that sometimes getting what you wish for is the worst thing you can get.

They came back wrong. Classic pulp horror but that line and scene gets me each time – because evil Gage is telling the truth. Everything about his death, resurrection and, ah, re-death wasn’t fair.

 

7 – MISERY (1990)

 

“I’m your number one fan!”

Arguably the best and tightest of King’s cinematic adaptations, due to the dynamite duo performance of Kathy Bates and James Caan – Bates got an Oscar for her performance, making the film the only King adaptation to win one.

 

8 – THE MIST (2007)

 

One of the biggest wham endings of any horror film – which Stephen King liked so much he preferred it to his own ending.

 

9 – IT (2017-2019)

 

Ah – Pennywise!

One of the best known of King’s cinematic adaptations, due to the visually iconic depiction of the titular antagonist and all its creepy extensions of itself

 

10 – IN THE TALL GRASS (2019)

 

Where’s a mower when you need one?

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(1994 – 1999) THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION & THE GREEN MILE

 

Honorable mention because neither are horror, although there’s something of a dark fantasy element in The Green Mile. The Shawshank Redemption doesn’t even have any fantasy (or SF) elements – it’s just straight up real world drama. I mention it here because it’s just such a damn good film, often listed by people as one of their favorites, presumably unaware that it was based on a Stephen King short story because of the lack of horror or dark fantasy. It also has my favorite use of the word obtuse in any film.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Poster art – Shark Bait (2022)

 

 

(8) SHARK HORROR

 

For instant horror, just add sharks!

I’m joking and serious. There’s even a trope for it in TV Tropes – Threatening Shark (or Everything’s Even Worse with Sharks).

Obviously that’s the case in shark horror films – that is, horror films where the source of the horror is a shark or sharks preying on humans.

However, even in films of other genres, adding a shark or sharks usually adds an element of horror – even if only from fear or suspense by the appearance or presence of that shark or those sharks. The James Bond films are fond of their sharks for example, so much so they were parodied by Dr Evil in Austin Powers wanting sharks with “fricking laser beams” attached to their heads.

There’s just something primal about our fear of sharks.

“Want to make a (usually) aquatic situation a dangerous nightmare? One way is sharks.”

But none more so than in shark horror films. In those, the sea’s your limit – or rather it isn’t, since you can have your sharks in almost any water, natural habitat or not. There’s the mutated cave sharks in the sequel to 47 Meters Down – or sharks in a suburban store flooded by a tsunami.

You’re not even necessarily limited to your “(usually) aquatic situation”. The sky’s your limit – literally with the Sharknado films.

For that matter, you’re not limited to normal sharks, often in combination with not being limited to aquatic situations. I’ve mentioned those mutated cave sharks but there’s other strands of evolution – biggest of them all the prehistoric megalodon. And the sky’s the limit for it as well – I’ve seen an excerpt from one megalodon film (Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus), admittedly hilarious, where the mega-shark breached the surface as sharks do, but to literally bring down a jet airliner at commercial flight height.

And you can just get weirder from there – genetically engineered sharks, ghost or demon sharks, and so on.

And yes – one can easily compile a shark horror top ten on the spot, particularly if you’re prepared to get…schlocky about it.

 

In no particular order other than alphabetical (other than Jaws in top spot)

1 – Jaws (indeed, a whole franchise of them)

2 – 47 Meters Down (with at least one sequel – with those mutated cave sharks)

3 – Bait (the one with the tsunami sharks – in Australia!)

4 – Deep Blue Sea (genetically engineered brainy sharks – with a sequel!)

5 – Great White (res ipsa loquitur)

6 – The Meg (megalodon shark horror)

7 – Open Water (based on a true story from Australia – with at least two sequels)

8 – The Reef (another film set in Australia)

9 – The Shallows

10 – Shark Night

(Dis)honorable mention – Sharknado

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Theatrical release poster art

 

(9) THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012)

 

“On another level, it’s a serious critique of what we love and what we don’t about horror movies.”

I’m ranking The Cabin in the Woods in top tier, because it is virtually an encyclopedia of horror film genre tropes and references, the latter so congested at times you have to pause or watch frame by frame to get them all (and probably not even then).

It is a horror film that is also meta-horror – a love letter to the genre, or more precisely a love-hate letter to the genre.

“I love being scared. I love that mixture of thrill, of horror, that objectification / identification thing of wanting definitely for the people to be alright but at the same time hoping they’ll go somewhere dark and face something awful. The things that I don’t like are kids acting like idiots, the devolution of the horror movie into torture p0rn and into a long series of sadistic comeuppances.”

That is of course from Joss Whedon as producer and co-writer of the screenplay, the latter with director Drew Goddard as the other co-writer” – and the film is definitely Whedonesque in its troperiffic and reference-heavy quality (rather than the more, ah, negative qualities that might be associated with that term from developments since that film). Indeed, it has distinct similarities with the creation that still is definitive of Whedon – Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 4 and the Initiative in particular.

“Five friends go to an isolated cabin in the woods for a weekend vacation.”

And that’s pretty much all you’re getting of the plot here, because any more detail spoils the premise of the film. Let’s just say the premise of the film explains why the plots of horror films often seem so contrived in a deconstruction of both the “cabin in the woods” setting and the horror genre.

Film critic Ann Hornaday summed it up nicely:

“A fiendishly clever brand of meta-level genius propels The Cabin in the Woods, a pulpy, deceivingly insightful send-up of horror movies that elicits just as many knowing chuckles as horrified gasps. [It] comes not only to praise the slasher-, zombie- and gore-fests of yore but to critique them, elaborating on their grammatical elements and archetypal figures even while searching for ways to put them to novel use. The danger in such a loftily ironic approach is that everything in the film appears with ready-made quotation marks around it… But by then, the audience will have picked up on the infectiously goofy vibe of an enterprise that, from its first sprightly moments, clearly has no intention of taking itself too seriously”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The iconic film poster art for the 1982 Poltergeist film

 

(10) POLTERGEIST (1982)

 

“They’re here”

The classic haunted house horror film – indeed, I’d argue that it’s never been surpassed or equalled since as haunted house horror film.

Of course, the title helps  – is there a cooler word for ghost than poltergeist? Even its English translation of “noisy spirit” is still cool.

The titular spirit in the film is a lot more than merely noisy, however.

“Poltergeist is a 1982 American supernatural horror film directed by Tobe Hooper and written by Steven Spielberg…The film focuses on a suburban family whose home is invaded by malevolent ghosts that abduct their youngest daughter”.

Interestingly, Spielberg originally conceived Poltergeist as involving aliens rather than ghosts – a horror sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind – and you can kind of see that at times even in the finished film.

Fortunately, it was written for ghosts – and became an iconic ghost horror film as a reuslt, so iconic that it has been frequently parodied. It also spawned a franchise, but one that could never equal the first film.

It also has one of my favorite “”oh crap” moments in horror film.

“You son of a b*tch! You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn’t you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones! Why? Why?”

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(11) THE ENTITY (1982)

 

A supernatural horror film which makes what is often subtext in other horror films into its text (or super-text?) – sexual violence against women.

Alternatively, it’s the most infamously hilarious line in comics, from Jim Balent’s Tarot Witch of the Black Rose – “You have to get out of here! Your v*gina is haunted” – but as horror.

To be fair, there was a subliminal horror in that line which is made, ah liminal (or is that superliminal – heh, love using the same joke twice) in The Entity. If you didn’t pick it up, it’s in the first part of that line – “You have to get out of here!”. And go where?

There’s the horror – it’s not like a haunted house she can just leave. That is essentially the horror of the film, where the titular invisible and malevolent poltergeist-like being doesn’t limit itself to being a noisy spirit smashing up things in the house but instead repeatedly assaults a single mother in Los Angeles.

One might think that’s horror enough in real life – indeed in some ways the film works better as a metaphor for that real life horror, particularly when it comes to a complainant having her complaint heard and believed. However, it’s a film that sticks with you, mainly from its shocking subject (which even has a term, at least in its broader meaning, of spectrophilia) and the compelling performance by Barbara Hershey as the entity’s target Carla Moran.

Apparently it was adapted for the screen by Frank De Felitta from his 1978 novel of the same name – and to make it more creepy, based on or inspired by the 1974 case of Dora Blither, who claimed such attacks on herself in real life.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(12) HELLRAISER (1987)

 

“We have such sights to show you!”

None of them pleasant, mind you, but they do indeed.

The film – and at least the first sequel – is just so quotable, usually from the Cenobites that are the heart of the horror, or the hell in the film’s title.

“The series has at its heart a puzzle box known as the Lament Configuration, which when properly solved summons the Cenobites, a cadre of sadomasochistic Humanoid Abominations.”

Worst Rubik’s Cube ever.

“The icon and representative of the series is the only recurring Cenobite after the second film, the iconic Pinhead”.

Although I have a soft spot for the Chatterer – the other two are Butterball and the Female Cenobite. It seems the Cenobites used up their imagination on BDSM by the time it came to their names.

Speaking of quotes, my favorite Hellraiser quote is not from the film but about it – by James Rolfe:

“Hellraiser is a movie that’s so f*cked up, you won’t even look at it unless you want to be freaked out of your mind!”

That pretty much sums up the premise of Hellraiser, where the horror is more its disturbing nature than any fear it evokes. It doesn’t so much make your hairs raise as your skin crawl – or “tear your soul apart”.

The first Hellraiser film was the directorial debut by writer (and sick puppy) Cliver Barker, based on his novella The Hellbound Heart.

The Cenobites, particularly Pinhead, have become horror icons. Sadly, Hellraiser hasn’t been parodied as much as it should have been in my opinion, but the standout parody of it was by Rick and Morty.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

Theatrical release poster – “eight legs, two fangs and an attitude” – for 1990 film Arachnophobia

 

(13) SPIDER HORROR – ARACHNOPHOBIA (1990)

 

For instant horror, just add spiders!

Like my previous special mention for shark horror, I’m joking and serious. Again, there’s a trope for it in TV Tropes – Spiders Are Scary. To which I’d add two more of their tropes to make spiders even scarier – Giant Spider and Spider Swarm.

Spider horror films are something of a niche but adding a spider, let alone a giant spider or spider swarm, will add an element of horror to films of other genres. Think Shelob in The Lord of the Rings. Or the spider scene with James Bond in Doctor No – or come to think of it, the spider scene (and just a touch of spider swarm) with Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

There’s something even more primal for our fear of spiders than for our fear of sharks, reflected in arachnophobia being up there as one of the phobias with the greatest name recognition – not least to this arachnophobe.

And yes – my use of arachnophobia in the title is a deliberate reference to invoke not only the phobia but the 1990 film of that title, my favorite spider horror film. And let’s be honest, the only spider horror film that pulls off the schlock well with the perfect mix of horror and comedy.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

One of many iconic or memetic scenes – this one particularly so because it was parodied beat for beat by Huey Lewis and Weird Al Yankovic

 

 

(14) AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

 

How could we have special mentions for horror films without Patrick Bateman, the titular American Psycho – at least for all the memetic moments?

Well, I suppose you could as it’s arguably not horror, but psychological thriller or even more so black comedy satire. (Or perhaps grim prediction of contemporary American politics, particularly given Bateman’s idol…?)

However, It does feature the titular serial killer (or is he….?), based on the novel by Brett Easton Ellis. The latter is even more intense, with one particularly intense scene featuring a rat that makes Room 101 in 1984 look like a petting zoo and was probably unfilmable as a result.

Christian Bale played Batman Bateman, the personification of American dream and nightmare, in a cult classic of black comedy. Bateman is a wealthy investment banker, obsessed with maintaining appearance and lavish lifestyle – a man so narcissistic and self-obsessed that his idea of conversation is a monologue reviewing his album collection (Phil Collins, Whitney Houston, Huey Lewis & the News – which, in fairness, is enough to drive anyone to murder), boring his guests to death before, you know, goring them to death. Not literally goring them with a horn or tusk, but killing them gorily, such as with an axe – and a raincoat to block the splatter and spray. (“Is that a raincoat?” a bemused guest asks before getting the axe).

Or that he is driven into literally murderous rage upon being out-flaunted by his equally superficial (but slightly less murderous) colleagues and their business cards, all seemingly in the same color and font but described in pretentious terms (“bone”, “eggshell” and “pale nimbus”).

It even inspired a musical version – which sounds awesome

But excuse me – I have to return some videotapes.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

From the promotional art of the Sadako vs Kayako film – I just wanted the two of them together. No, not like that. Okay – maybe just a little

 

 

(15) ASIAN HORROR – THE RING & THE GRUDGE (2002-2004)

 

Yes, yes – I’m sweeping the entire horror film industries of east and south-east Asia into one stringy-haired ghost girl special mention of The Ring vs The Grudge (but not literally the Ring vs the Grudge in that crossover film between them).

That’s because I only have the most superficial knowledge of Asian horror, almost entirely consisting of those stringy-haired ghost girls (or onryo) of Japanese horror film (or J-horror) – and even then in their American adaptations.

Yes – I’m talking the leading ghost girl duo of Sadako (or Samara in the American version) in The Ring and Kayako in The Grudge.

In fairness, those ghost girls are freaky. What makes them even more freaky is that they don’t exactly target their rage at the people who deserve it. Just anyone unlucky enough to cross their path (or play their tape) – they’re just that p*ssed off with anyone that’s not dead like them. And then they come crawling out of your television, or your own hari, or just goddamn anywhere – usually moving in the most unnatural way or making the most unnerving noises.

Anyway, let’s just say they have piqued my interest in Asian horror, which has dipped ever so slightly into Japanese, Korean, and Thai horror films – from which I hope to accumulate enough for an Asian horror top ten.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

 

(16) THE DESCENT (2005)

 

Just when you thought it was safe to go spelunking…

One of the best horror films of the 2000s – honestly I’d consider it for special mention on the skull of women motif art design alone.

“The Descent is a 2005 British horror film written and directed by Neil Marshall, director of Dog Soldiers and Doomsday. The film follows a group of six women who embark on a caving expedition and become trapped underground after a cave-in.”

If that wasn’t recipe enough for claustrophobic horror, add a pinch of injury and a generous serve of Crawlers – “predatory, pale humanoid creatures” that make the Morlocks seems positively refined by comparison. And like nothing better than to chow down on anyone stupid and hapless enough to enter their lair.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

 

(17) SNAKES ON A PLANE (2006)

 

“Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these motherfking snakes on this motherfking plane”.

Scriptwriting genius!

An action horror film “that, more than most movies you’ll find, does pretty much exactly what it says on the tin” and “that turned out exactly as ludicrous on the premise and title sound, and it revelled in its so bad it’s goodness”.

What more do you need to know? It’s snakes on a plane!

Oh sure, there’s a convoluted plot to get to the premise of snakes on a plane. Well, not that convoluted in terms of writing – more in the ludicrousness of it as the weapon of choice by an international gangster to assassinate a witness testifying against him. I mean, surely the classic trope of planting a bomb on the plane would have been easier and more effective? Particularly as he had to import all the snakes to put on the plane as it departed Hawaii, one of three islands in the world famously without snakes.

Oh – and that witness? He’d just accidentally blundered on to the scene at just the right time to see the gangster murder a prosecutor. How do we know it was a prosecutor? Because the gangster mocks the man as “Mr Prosecutor” in my favorite line in the movie apart from its most famous line – or indeed in any movie. Again – scriptwriting genius!

Apparently, when the studio wanted to give the film a serious title, Pacific Air Flight 121 – boooring! – and turn it into an action horror film, Samuel L. Jackson “suggested they change it back when the absurd title gained popularity online and became a huge online meme”. And of course so Jackson could say that iconic line as only Jackson could.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

Theatrical release poster

 

 

(18) DRAG ME TO HELL (2009)

 

Ah, Sam Raimi – it’s good to have you back home in horror, even if it’s just a brief stay.

The moral of the fable – if you’re a bank loans officer, don’t refuse loans to old gypsy women that can sling supernatural curses your way. Okay, technically not refusing a loan but refusing to extend a mortgage.

And in this case, the supernatural curse involves literally cursing you to hell – and not back. Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200. The film obviously involves the female protagonist Christine’s desperate attempts to shrug off the curse.

It raises the ante on the Occupy movement – not quite by occupying hell but sending the bankers there. I think we can all get on board with cursing banks to hell but come on – shouldn’t the old gypsy woman be aiming a little higher? I mean, she should be doing a Karen and cursing Christine’s boss, who was the real problem here. Or hell – go for the CEO!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

Theatrical release poster – to be honest, that doll freaks me out even before she turns evil

 

(19) M3GAN (2022)

 

It’s the Terminator as a doll – what more do you need to know?

Well, in fairness, it’s both versions of Arnold’s T-800 in the first two films. You know, the bad Terminator in the first film and the good Terminator in the second film. If that sounds weird, it’s because she flips from the latter to the former – and worse, that’s from her programming as the latter driven to insane troll logic extremes.

And yes – I’m giving it special mention because of that dance, which became a meme from its brief appearance in the trailer onwards. It makes no sense and comes out of nowhere, except of course the titular doll getting its groove on as part of its murderous self-awareness.

We’re not talking high art here – but we rarely are when it comes to horror films. It’s cheesy and by the numbers but it’s a hoot.

And after all, it’s becoming a franchise – with a sequel due in 2025 and a spinoff in 2026. I also can’t resist citing the 2024 Subservience as something of a spiritual sequel purely based on the same robot gone wrong theme and the play on the name with Megan Fox as the robot in that film. She can be my hot robot nanny any day. That’s right – you heard me. I stand by that statement.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

Nothing kinky going on here, no sir – 2004 Romanian stamp (and therefore public domain image) featuing Dracula (used as feature image for Wikipedia “Erotic Horror”)

 

(20) EROTIC HORROR

 

Wait – what?

As usual, I tend to throw in a kinky entry among my wilder special mentions – usually as the final or twentieth special mention, where the subject permits, and you might be surprised what kink I can squeeze out of a given subject.

And for the subject of horror films, that kinky entry pretty much writes itself.

Firstly, horror tends to be relegated to a cinematic ghetto not unlike adult film – and often uncannily resembles the latter in production values and with similar restricted ratings (for the more softcore adult films at least). As noted by TV Tropes, “you’d be hard-pressed to find professional film critics who don’t view horror as a land where grisly violence and exploitation stand in for plot and characters…none other than famed horror director John Carpenter once remarked that horror is viewed by the mainstream as being just a notch above p0rnography”.

Secondly, adult films borrow from horror films in visual imagery or what passes for plot surprisingly often, except of course for titillation rather than terror – at least going by the spoof titles for adult films parodying those of horror films. I take it the script is probably the least valued part of the production of adult films so if you can just copy and paste it from another film, all the better.

Thirdly, there’s a reason underlying both of the above two reasons – and it’s that there’s always been an underlying eroticism or erotic themes in horror, albeit in varying degrees across the genre, such that you might even call it part of horror’s DNA.

Just think Dracula and vampire horror, but that’s just for starters. You could argue that many horror films involve both variations of the male gaze – that of the audience and that of the antagonist, with the latter as more predatory. Many or perhaps even most of my top ten entries or special mention have some erotic subcurrent – or could readily be tweaked entirely to the basic plot premise (or “parody”) in adult film.

Indeed, erotic horror or erotic themes in horror are so distinctive that the former has its own Wikipedia entry (also featuring the latter) and lists of films. Although be warned – it gets a little weird, anime tentacles for example.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

FILM: TOP 10 HORROR (SPECIAL MENTION) – TIER LIST

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) SF HORROR

(2) VAMPIRE HORROR

(3) ZOMBIE & ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HORROR

(4) RELIGIOUS HORROR

(5) FOLK HORROR

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(6) SLASHER HORROR

(7) KING HORROR

(8) SHARK HORROR

(9) THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(10) POLTERGEIST

(11) THE ENTITY

(12) HELLRAISER

(13) SPIDER HORROR – ARACHNOPHOBIA

(14) AMERICAN PSYCHO

(15) ASIAN HORROR – THE RING & THE GRUDGE

(16) THE DESCENT

(17) SNAKES ON A PLANE

(18) DRAG ME TO HELL

(19) M3GAN

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(20) EROTIC HORROR

 

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Horror Films (Special Mention) (20) Erotic Horror

Posted on by

Nothing kinky going on here, no sir – 2004 Romanian stamp (and therefore public domain image) featuing Dracula (used as feature image for Wikipedia “Erotic Horror”)

 

(20) EROTIC HORROR

 

Wait – what?

As usual, I tend to throw in a kinky entry among my wilder special mentions – usually as the final or twentieth special mention, where the subject permits, and you might be surprised what kink I can squeeze out of a given subject.

And for the subject of horror films, that kinky entry pretty much writes itself.

Firstly, horror tends to be relegated to a cinematic ghetto not unlike adult film – and often uncannily resembles the latter in production values and with similar restricted ratings (for the more softcore adult films at least). As noted by TV Tropes, “you’d be hard-pressed to find professional film critics who don’t view horror as a land where grisly violence and exploitation stand in for plot and characters…none other than famed horror director John Carpenter once remarked that horror is viewed by the mainstream as being just a notch above p0rnography”.

Secondly, adult films borrow from horror films in visual imagery or what passes for plot surprisingly often, except of course for titillation rather than terror – at least going by the spoof titles for adult films parodying those of horror films. I take it the script is probably the least valued part of the production of adult films so if you can just copy and paste it from another film, all the better.

Thirdly, there’s a reason underlying both of the above two reasons – and it’s that there’s always been an underlying eroticism or erotic themes in horror, albeit in varying degrees across the genre, such that you might even call it part of horror’s DNA.

Just think Dracula and vampire horror, but that’s just for starters. You could argue that many horror films involve both variations of the male gaze – that of the audience and that of the antagonist, with the latter as more predatory. Many or perhaps even most of my top ten entries or special mention have some erotic subcurrent – or could readily be tweaked entirely to the basic plot premise (or “parody”) in adult film.

Indeed, erotic horror or erotic themes in horror are so distinctive that the former has its own Wikipedia entry (also featuring the latter) and lists of films. Although be warned – it gets a little weird, anime tentacles for example.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)