Top Tens – Miscellany: Top 10 Youtube (5) Pitch Meeting

Youtube channel banner as at 31 March 2024

 

 

(5) PITCH MEETINGS (CANADA 2022 – formerly part of Screen Rant USA 2008)

 

“Actually it’s going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience.”

 

Instead of the channel blurb, I couldn’t resist quoting its signature catchphrase – indeed so signature that the videos even originally went by the title Super Easy, Barely an Inconvenience – Screen Rant Pitch Meetings.

 

That catchphrase is routinely invoked by one of the duo of characters that appear in each video, the screenwriter played by Canadian comedian Ryan George, when pitching his film or TV series script in the titular fictional pitch meetings for popular films or series to the second of the duo, the film producer also played by Ryan George.

 

Invoked that is, by the screenwriter to dismiss the apparently irreconcilable narrative conflict or obstacle into which he has written his characters when the producer queries that very point – and seemingly accepted without any further argument by the producer.

 

Indeed, much of the exchange between them is the producer querying issues – being surprisingly “adept at spotting the problematic aspects of whatever he’s being pitched” – but fortunately for the screenwriter, is also easily distracted or deflected, usually by love of money as “a profit-obsessed doormat”.

 

One of my favorite aspects is how the screenwriter and producer seem to alternate playing the straight man to the other’s absurd thought processes or enthusiasm, only to be distracted or deflected by ulterior motives – usually profit for the producer and pride for the screenwriter, often to the detriment of the final product.

 

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (5) Geomancy

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

(5) GEOMANCY

 

O sweet spontaneous
earth… how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods…
thou answerest
them only with
spring”

Standing stones, ley lines and feng shui (although technically the latter translates as wind-water)

“Geomancy is a method of divination that interprets markings on the ground or the patterns formed by tossed handfuls of soil, rocks, or sand” – which prompts me to speculate if it had origins in prehistoric tracking.

It might also extend to lithomancy, or divination by stones – or crystals, including scrying into crystals or crystal balls. Or to spelunking for visions in caves – or climbing for them on mountains (oromancy or divination by mountains). Shoutout also to topomancy or divination by geography or geological formations.

As a method of divination, geomancy seems somewhat, well, meh – lacking the versatility, potency or intensity of the other methods of divination in our top ten so far, which begs the question of its ranking above them.

To be honest, part of its top ten ranking was to complete the set of four classical elements – although that still begs the question of why it is ranked over pyromancy, hydromancy and aeromancy. However, the major part of its ranking is more as a school of magic or mysticism – channeling or harnessing the magical or mystical energy of the earth itself.

Of course, there is something of an overlap with divination, but what might be considered a more proactive form of divination – not passively attempting to divine good fortune from physical features, but actively attempting to channel or harness their energy to make good fortune, literally grounding the expression that you make your own luck.

The archetype of this active creation of good fortune is the Chinese tradition of feng shui – “manipulating the flow and direction of energy based on aesthetics, location, and position of objects and buildings”.

At its widest, that archetype of geomancy is extended to things that are broadly dubbed “Earth mysteries” in Western popular culture – including those projected back to megalithic or monumental history or prehistory. The megaliths or standing stones of Europe, pyramids in general and particularly in Egypt, so-called ley lines, and so on.

As a school of magic harnessing the power of the earth itself, geomancy ranks high in potency, even more so if one combines it with actual geology – not to mention such things as earthquakes, volcanoes, lava or earth’s molten core, geological time, tectonic plates, earth’s electromagnetic field, and gravity. Or the metaphorical or symbolic meanings of earth and ground.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (5) Egyptian

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

(5) EGYPTIAN

 

“I am a cowboy in the boat of Ra…
“Who was that
dog-faced man? they asked, the day I rode
from town”…
Go get my eyelids of red paint.
Hand me my shadow
I’m going into town after Set”

If there’s one of two things I lament about Christianity, it’s the decline of the Egyptian pantheon. If only the Roman Empire could have gone the way of the ankh instead of the cross. Or if only the Egyptian gods had returned out of the desert, as opposed to Islam and swept Christianity out of Egypt!

What’s not to love about those funky animal-headed gods and those slinky goddesses? Especially the goddesses – lithe and svelte in their form-fitting dresses, with their golden skin and painted eyes, they would not look out of place as supermodels on a modern catwalk. Of course, Egypt was, quite frankly, the sexiest ancient civilization – admittedly perhaps not for its population’s vast majority of peasants who farmed the Nile or worked on those useless tombstones known as pyramids, but certainly for its elite, who pretty much invented style. You know it’s true – just look at the figures in their art!

Or what’s not to love how the gods kept shifting and swapping out with each other as they rose and fell within the pantheon? My personal favorite trinity of Egyptian mythology (well apart from Anubis, one of my favorite dog gods of mythology) – Osiris, Isis and Horus as they square off against their adversary Set. O yes – Isis. Goddess of magic who seduced the secret name from the sun god Ra and lover of Osiris who resurrected him after he was dismembered by his evil adversary Set to conceive the divine hero Horus (who then avenges Osiris)

Or what’s not to love about its different and contradictory creation myths? Particularly the one where the god Atum (who swapped out as supreme god from time to time) created the world by, ahem, mastrbating it into existence. Now that’s creationism! Indeed, Egyptian mythology could get downright kinky. Isis essentially s€xes up all her magic, including that briefly reviving Osiris to conceive Horus. Or how Set and Horus essentially strive to, ahem, out-ejculate each other…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (5) Peter Dickinson – The Flight of Dragons

1st edition, Pierrot Publishing, 1979

 

 

(5) PETER DICKINSON –
THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS (1979)

 

Here be dragons!

And how! It’s like Jurassic Park, only even more awesome – with dragons! This is a work of “speculative natural history”, which addresses that most awesome question – how dragons might have really existed?

Or more precisely, is there an evolutionary hypothesis that could explain the existence of dragons of mythology and lore?

In doing so, it addresses the question posed by the title – the flight of dragons. Clearly, something extra is needed for the mass of dragons to be lifted by their limited wing area – and if not magic, what?

The answer is the central hypothesis of the work – that dragons were essentially fantasy dirigibles, held aloft by sacs of hydrogen, produced from their own digestive hydrochloric acid. From that, we have their evolution from dinosaurs to most of the tropes of dragons in fantasy, not least their fiery breath, evolved to burn off excess hydrogen but finding use as a weapon – although it also offers explanations for their toxic (or more precisely acidic) blood, their hoards and most other dragon tropes, with an element of legendary embellishment thrown in (intelligence and speech for example).

It also offers explanation for the saddest dragon trope – their absence from reality. Obviously, they were hunted to extinction by humanity and their acidic blood dissolved any bodily remnants that remained behind (so no dragon fossils – alas!)

It’s a nice fantasy theory, even if it seems somewhat contrived or forced at times by standards of biology – but damned if I don’t half believe it, and even more damned if I don’t totally wish that somewhere here or there be dragons…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Miscellany: Top 10 Youtube (6) Media Zealot

Youtube channel banner as at 2 April 2024

 

(6) MEDIA ZEALOT (NEW ZEALAND 2014)

 

“Media Zealot casts judgement on all things entertainment related. Prepare thyself for lashings of over-analysis, questionable criticisms, and uncomfortably long tangents, all held together by a relentless barrage of semi-satirical cynicism. Your sacrament is a grain of salt.”

The second of my antipodean popular culture critics in my top ten – although dare I say it, from the Lesser Antipodes that is New Zealand as opposed to the Greater Antipodes that is Australia. (Cue the esoteric bad geography joke on the Lesser and Greater Antilles. Yes – they’re a thing. Look it up!)

Anyway, the particular focus of Media Zealot is on cinematic fantasy and science fiction – with his two long-running playlists of videos, Villains Too Stupid to Win, and SF Civilizations Too Stupid to Really Exist, which are each pretty much exactly what they say on the tin.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (6) Aeromancy

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art from OldWorldGods

 

(6) AEROMANCY

 

What the thunder said.

Aeromancy is not so much divination from the classical element of air, given that air is invisible and intangible of itself, but more divination from atmospheric conditions or weather.

As such, it has a long pedigree in history. Obviously, humans have always been concerned with atmospheric conditions or weather, albeit perhaps more to divine those atmospheric conditions or weather themselves rather than divining other things from them – particularly for agriculture.

Still, the sky and weather readily lend themselves to expressions or perceptions of the divine or supernatural reality – storms particularly so. Even now, for me one of the primary aspects of modernity is how we have harnessed the divine power of lightning for our own use, as our prehistoric ancestors harnessed the divine power of fire.

Yet again, there’s probably enough variations of aeromancy for their own top ten, but I’ll focus on those corresponding to different atmospheric or weather conditions.

Anemomancy or austromancy – divination by wind (depending on whether one goes by the Greek or Latin root for wind)

Ceraunomancy – divination by thunder and lightning. Of course, one can divide that further into divination by lightning or astropomancy, and divination by thunder or brontomancy.

Nephomancy – divination by clouds, no doubt replicating much of that favorite childhood game of seeing shapes in clouds, as humanity was also to do with the stars (but more on that later).

Wikipedia also lists chaomancy for divination by aerial visions, and uranomancy for divination by the sky, in its long list of methods of divination, but these would seem to largely correspond with one or another of the above.

As a method of divination, aeromancy would appear to be almost as versatile as hydromancy, particularly in combination of all its variations, although similarly lacking quite the same potency for visions as pyromancy. On the other hand, divination by thunder or lighting would seem more dramatic than hydromancy – similarly to the use of thunder or lightning as effects in stage or film.

As a school of magic, aeromancy would seem similar in versatility to hydromancy, particularly if one extends it through all atmospheric or weather conditions, although they also seem to overlap in such things as clouds, fog, mist, rain, sleet and snow.

I always thought that the airbenders in Avatar were unfairly nerfed to being essentially just windbenders – anemomancers or austromancers rather than true aeromancers in our parlance of mancy. At very least, I call shenanigans in the series giving lightning to firebenders.

Indeed, there are few things in nature with such raw elemental power as storms, up there with tsunamis (for hydromancers) or volcanic eruptions and earthquakes (for pyromancers and our next entry).

Similarly to pyromancy and hydromancy, aeromancy becomes even more potent if one extends it to sound, or more metaphorical uses of air as a medium such as breath (including the breath of life) and voice.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (6) Middle Eastern – Babylo-Sumerian

Ereshkigal – free ‘divine gallery’ art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

(6) MIDDLE EASTERN – BABYLO-SUMERIAN

 

Dare I say it – the ur-mythology!

The mythology, that is, of the long-standing and predominant civilization in the ancient Middle East that shaped so much of their successors in civilization and mythology – the states of Mesopotamia.

By the states of Mesopotamia, I am referring to the fluctuating city-states or states collectively best known to history as Sumer and Babylon, with the latter’s imperial franchise having at least one reboot as the neo-Babylonian empire. That also includes the other empires that bubbled up from that area such as the Akkadian empire and Assyrian empire (which also rebooted itself as neo-Assyrian empire). The political history is long and messy, although much of the mythology or religion stays the same, albeit with different names – what might be called the classical mythology of the region, which I’ll dub Babylo-Sumerian. Yes I know Sumer preceded Babylon, but Babylo-Sumerian just sounds better.

Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of ancient Middle Eastern mythologies in general, including the various so-called Canaanite mythologies which we mostly know as the bad guys in the Bible (although the Assyrians and Babylonians also feature prominently as bad guys there, particularly the latter)

But to return to the selection of Sumerian and Babylonian mythology for this entry. Yes – it’s not quite as funky as a certain other neighboring mythology with its animal-headed gods, but it does have some interesting features – two in particular. The first is the epic of Gilgamesh and his quest for eternal life, notable as the first epic of a mythic hero in writing. The second is the slinky goddess to rival other slinky goddesses in mythology – Ishtar, Babylonian goddess of love and war (or her Sumerian counterpart Inanna) and her most famous myth, her epic strip-teasing descent into the underworld.

There are also other features of interest – various other deities (Marduk in our feature image for example), Tiamat the primordial goddess-dragon of chaos (best known to Dungeons and Dragons players as a supreme evil dragon goddess) and various stories recycled in the Bible, notably the Flood (and the Sumerian Noah, Utnapishtim, who features in the epic of Gilgamesh).

Oh – and a certain god who became the demon antagonist of The Exorcist film, which I know better than to name here (or anywhere) because that’s just tempting fate.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (6) Penguin Dictionary of Symbols

 

(6) PENGUIN DICTIONARY OF SYMBOLS

 

The Penguin dictionaries are usually of high quality whatever the subject, but the Penguin Dictionary of Symbols is the standout for me.

That might be attributed to the collaboration of its original authors – French writer, philosopher and theologian Jean Chevalier, with French poet and explorer Alain Gheerbant. Their literary background shines forth in the lyrical quality or poetic resonance of the entries – although at times the entries can be somewhat overwhelming in the density of their style.

As for the book itself, well, it’s a dictionary…of symbols. Obviously. Although that understates just how comprehensive the entries are, both in quantity and quality – devoted to the symbolism of myths, dreams, habits, gestures, shapes, figures, colors, numbers, plants, animals and more found in mythology and folklore.

I’ll let Penguin’s own publishing entry speak for it – “This is a remarkable dictionary, exploring the vast and various symbols which abound in literature, religion, national identity and are found at the very heart of our dreams and sub-conscious…each entry is given its complete range of interpretations – sexual and spiritual, official and subversive, cultural and religious – to bring meaning and insight to the symbol”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Miscellany: Top 10 Youtube (7) It’s a Gundam

Youtube channel banner as at 31 March 2024

 

 

(7) IT’S A GUNDAM (USA 2015)

 

 

“The voice of a disenfranchised generation. Culture critic, trash comedian, failed musician. I’m the triple threat.”

 

Perhaps the most caustic of the caustic critics in my top ten and the most wide-ranging in his criticism, which might be broadly characterized as extending throughout online or social media controversy, popular culture criticism and social commentary.

 

He has a particular focus on the, ah, questionable aspects to be found among the perpetually – and, ahem, progressively – online, especially on Twitter or X as something of his happy hunting grounds for subject material for his video content. However, I can’t help but laugh as he nails the absurd outrage and indignation you see hyped online. Whatever you may think of his content, he does have comedic style.

 

No doubt he thrives on the outrage – particular highlights for me in his content are where he uses clips as running gags to mock the incoming outrage at someone daring to say such things, such as Sansa Stark saying “he’s a monster” (or more recently a clip of unknown origin to me – “Stop him!”). Also his running gag of calling to his poor overworked video editor – Stu? Stew? – “EDIT THAT OUT!”

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (7) Hydromancy

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

(7) HYDROMANCY

 

Glug glug glug…

But seriously, hydromancy or divination by water has one of the longest pedigrees of any method of divination, no doubt reflecting the importance of water for human survival or life in general, and of bodies of water to human civilization or societies.

Divination by water should be distinguished from divination for water, most famously that of dowsing – or attempting to divine the location of water, typically wells or other underground bodies of water.

Just as divination for water tends towards forms of dowsing, divination by water or hydromancy tends towards forms of scrying by looking at water or bodies of water, particularly those identified as divine or sacred.

Think Galadriel’s Mirror in The Lord of the Rings – except why couldn’t it have been Galadriel’s Jacuzzi? I’m sure I’d have had many meaningful visions, particularly with Galadriel in it.

The permutations of hydromancy are almost endless, including observations of color, ebb or flow, tides or currents, ripples from pebbles or other objects cast into water, or the movement (or flotation) of objects in water.

Again, one could probably squeeze out enough drops of hydromancy for their own top ten within my top ten, but I’ll just mention two here as worthy of distinction – cryomancy or divination by ice or snow, and hydatomancy or divination by rain or rainwater. To which I’d add my own invention of flotsamancy and jetsamancy, for divination by flotsam and jetsam.

As a method of divination, hydromancy would appear to be as or even more versatile than pyromancy, although perhaps lacking quite the same potency for visions, at least from burning particular substances.

As a school of magic, hydromancy would similar seem more versatile than pyromancy – particularly if one extends it throughout all forms of water from snow and ice to clouds or mist, not to mention the full volume of it as the surface area of our planet and within our bodies or all life (in the style of blood-bending within water-bending in the Avatar series), even more so if one extended it in more metaphorical senses of cleansing, healing and life. Or ebb and flow, rhythm and tides – in the style of the metaphorical comparison of the Tao to water.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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