Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (2) Trudy Cooper & Doug Bayne – Oglaf

 

 

(2) TRUDY COOPER & DOUG BAYNE –

OGLAF (Webcomic 2008 – present)

 

A weekly webcomic every Sunday by Australian creators.

A fantasy comic and comic fantasy – the latter in that it deconstructs, parodies or subverts virtually every fantasy trope, many drawn from the creators’ obvious familiarity with Dungeons and Dragons. In the words of Comics Alliance – “Oglaf is a sex comedy webcomic set in a world created by shoving every existing fantasy world into a blender and setting it on puree. There’s no overall plot, but many recurring characters and storylines, all in service to some of the funniest smut on the web”.

Yes – it is funny. And yes – oh my goddess – it is smutty. As per its origin in its opening disclaimer – “This comic started as an attempt to make p0rnography. It degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately”. Definitely not-safe-for-work (NSFW). Indeed, it’s an exceptional Oglaf that isn’t smutty. Of course, a large part of the smut is also part of the comic fantasy, playing with those fantasy tropes or the sexuality, repressed or otherwise beneath their surface. So yes – it’s mostly a fantasy sex comedy, well – ah – serviced by Cooper’s art. One should note that it is extremely diverse in its sexuality and indeed its multi-racial or polysexual characters – strikingly so for fantasy, which despite its premise is all too often traditional in its mores.

It’s mostly an episodic gag a week, although there are recurring characters. There also are (or at least were) occasional longer story arcs involving them. Ironically, the title character, although technically recurring (in a couple or so episodes), is essentially a gag character for the title – a shepherd boy with a very unusual (and NSFW) magical talent which somehow annoints him as the chosen one (although not chosen for much beyond the title). The closest thing the comic had to a protagonist was Ivan, a literal sorcerer’s apprentice (of sorts) to the sadistic Mistress. Other recurring characters occasionally rise to the fore as semi-protagonists – kinky female vampire Navaan, humorless female mercenary Greir and my favorite, Kronar, an obvious parody of Conan from a tribe of male barbarians so manly they don’t contaminate themselves with women and show each other their honor (and yes – that is a euphemism).

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT MISTRESS TIER?)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (7) Last Western Roman Emperors

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XIX: The Fall of Rome

 

(7) LAST WESTERN EMPERORS –
LIBIUS SEVERUS, OLYBRIUS, GLYCERIUS, ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS, JULIUS NEPOS, AVITUS & ANTHEMIUS
(455-456 & 461-476 AD)

 

The archetypal weak emperors of the dying western empire – embodying the terminal decline of imperial office to the figureheads or puppets of the barbarian warlords who ruled the empire or its remnants in all but name.

Best symbolized by the “last western emperor”, Romulus Augustulus, whose deposition by Odoacer marked the end of the western empire as political entity and proverbial Fall of the Roman Empire – with the perfect irony of being named for Rome’s legendary founder and derisively nicknamed Augustulus or little Augustus.

Such was the power of that irony that historians traditionally identified him as the last western emperor, even though the claim arguably belongs to Julius Nepos (and others asserted imperial claims even afterwards), and his deposition as the Fall of the Empire.

“Romulus being seen as the last emperor over other contenders derives not only from Romulus having been the last emperor proclaimed in the west, but also from the poetic nature of being named after both Romulus, the founder of Rome, and Augustus, the first Roman emperor. Many historians have noted the coincidence that the last emperor combined the names of both the city’s founder and the first emperor. In The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Gibbon wrote that “the appellations of the two great founders of the city and of the monarchy were thus strangely united in the last of their successors.””

The archetypal weakness of the last western Roman emperors is such that you could arguably swap all of them into my top ten worst emperors and indeed I considered Romulus Augustulus for my wildcard tenth place given how well he symbolized them as well as the irony of his name. In the end, I considered that they ranked special mention as opposed to other emperors with more notorious cruelty and depravity or that were more actively destructive – or both, above all those who ruled from a position or at at time of greater imperial power.

These last western emperors may have been archetypally weak, but that wasn’t so much any particular emperor as it was a quality of the position of emperor itself by then – excepting of course Majorian’s reign and reversal of fortune for a few years. And intentionally so, by the military commanders who sought to use these emperors as puppets, until the barbarian warlord Odoacer decided to dispense with such puppets altogether.

So I also considered that it wouldn’t be fair to simply rank the last non-dynastic western Roman emperors in my top ten worst emperors – with the notable exception of Petronius Maximus, whom I did consider to be actively destructive enough for my wildcard tenth place entry. That’s so even for poor Romulus Augustulus despite the notoriety of his name and status as the last western emperor – and somewhat surprisingly, he actually ranked in the middle of the pack among these emperors, which I decided to rank both in and within the one special mention.

 

So here goes ranking them within the special mention, from worst to best.

 

First, the four who rank worst as the archetypal weak last western roman emperors:

 

LIBIUS SEVERUS (461-465 AD: 3 YEARS 11 MONTHS 26 DAYS)

I see no reason to dissent from Dovahhatty’s assessment that the German commander Ricimer deliberately “arranged for the weakest, most pathetic of men to be his puppet” – particularly as he did so after Majorian and would have been determined to avoid another such figure. He was rumored to have been poisoned by Ricimer to abandon him for a candidate more appealing to the eastern empire.

 

OLYBRIUS (472 AD: 7 MONTHS)

The oily Olybrius comes in next, with the distinction of being a puppet twice over – for the Vandals and for Ricimer, before dying of illness.

 

GLYCERIUS (473-474 AD: 1 YEAR 3 MONTHS 19/21 DAYS)

Glycerius was at least not the puppet of Ricimer, because that rat had finally died during the reign of his predecessor Olybrius – instead he was the puppet of Gundobad, the new German military commander, until Gundobad decided to abandon him. And at least he managed to deter invasions of Italy by the Visigoths and Ostrogoths – the former by his local commanders repelling it and the second by paying them tribute in gold. He was not recognized by the eastern emperor, who instead sent an army to install its candidate, Julius Nepos – although Glycerius managed to peacefully abdicate and be ordained a bishop

 

ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS (475-476 AD: 10 MONTHS 4 DAYS)

And here he is – the iconic last western Roman emperor but surprisingly not the worst of them. After all, he was a child briefly enthroned by his father as his nickname signified. Still a weak puppet emperor but I give him bonus points because he was a child. Also, at least he was a puppet of a Roman commander, his father Orestes. Orestes was smart enough to not claim the throne for himself, given how dangerous that particular seat was by this time, but ruling through his son as figurehead didn’t really work out for him either. The barbarian general Odoacer defeated and killed him, deposing Romulus as well and dispensing with any western emperor altogether, ruling as the new barbarian king of Italy. Odoacer was surprising decent about it all, including sparing Romulus to live in peaceful retirement.

 

And now the three who rank somewhat above the other last western roman emperors for at least trying to do something

 

JULIUS NEPOS (474-475 AD: 1 YEAR 2 MONTHS 4 DAYS)

Julius Nepos was the eastern empire’s candidate for western emperor who deposed Glycerius, but was deposed in turn by the Roman commander Orestes. Bonus points for retreating to his home province of Dalmatia and continuing to claim the western imperial title from there, with the continued recognition of the eastern empire – effectively seceding from and even outlasting Roman imperial rule in Italy until he was killed in 480, by two of his generals while planning an expedition to recover Italy. Ironically, even Odoacer paid lip service to him as emperor, minting coins in his name but otherwise ignoring him – which was pretty much also what the eastern empire did as well, recognizing him but otherwise not giving him any actual support.

He had also worked to restore the western empire in his brief reign – possibly repelling a Visigothic invasion of Italy and also managing to again reduce the Burgundians to Roman foederati, but otherwise mostly unsuccessful in reviving Roman power in Gaul, unable to halt Visigothic conquests there.

 

AVITUS (455-456 AD: 1 YEAR 3 MONTHS 8 DAYS)

Absent the revival of Roman power under a figure such as Majorian, the western empire didn’t have much prospect for survival on its own except perhaps for the two options involving an alliance or merger with the only two states that could save it. Avitus tried for the first – a Romano-Gothic alliance, from which one might even speculate on an enduring western Romano-Gothic empire (particularly if it involved both Visigoths and Ostrogoths).

Avitus had a good relationship with the Visigoths, arguably the best of Rome’s Germanic foederati at that time – particularly their king Theodoric II, as Avitus had come out of retirement to fight alongside the previous king Theodoric and the supreme Roman commander Aetius as allies against the Huns. He was sent as an ambassador to Theodoric II, probably to seek support for the emperor, although he loses points for that emperor being Petronius Maximus. As Petronius Maximus was killed by the Roman mob and the Vandals sacked Rome, Theodoric II acclaimed Avitus as emperor instead.

Avitus opposed the reduction of the empire to Italy alone – one might think for good reasons of Gaul being both the remaining reliable source of army recruitment in the western empire and also his power base, bringing a Gallic army (and probably Gothic forces) with him to Italy as well as seeking to introduce Gallic senators into the imperial administration.

And pretty much everyone in Rome hated him for it as the “foreign” emperor – and having invaded Hispania at his behest, Theodoric II was unable to help him against the rebel Roman generals who deposed him, although again he loses points for one of those generals being Majorian. So yes – he was deposed for his trouble but spared on condition that he became a bishop, only perhaps to have been killed afterwards anyway.

 

ANTHEMIUS (467-472 AD: 5 YEARS 2 MONTHS 29 DAYS)

Generally recognized as the last effective western emperor – and perhaps not coincidentally the one with the longest reign – Anthemius tried for the second and more obvious of the two options for alliance or support, the eastern empire, not surprisingly reflecting that he came from there as its candidate for western emperor.

“Anthemius attempted to solve the two primary military challenges facing the remains of the Western Roman Empire: the resurgent Visigoths, under Euric, whose domain straddled the Pyrenees; and the unvanquished Vandals, under Geiseric, in undisputed control of North Africa”.

He even had the support of the eastern empire for the latter, with the eastern empire launching its own massive invasion fleet against the Vandal kingdom in north Africa – something that would have been much better timed with Majorian’s planned campaign against the Vandals. Sadly, the eastern empire screwed this up, with the catastrophic defeat of its fleet and consequent near bankruptcy of their empire for thirty years or so.

Predictably, Anthemius ran afoul of Ricimer – “Unlike most of his predecessors, Anthemius refused to yield, and his insistence on ruling independently brought him into conflict with Ricimer. This eventually escalated into open warfare between the two, with the result that Anthemius lost not only his throne, but also his head, in 472.”

 

DID DOVAHHATTY DO RIGHT?

 

Dovahhatty summed up the fate of the western empire and its last emperors best, as in my feature image with Odoacer and Romulus Augustulus – “When Odoacer broke through Ravenna’s gates, he didn’t find the all-powerful emperor of the civilized world…instead he found a weak, trembling child unable to protect himself, much less the people he nominally ruled”.

Although Dovahhatty depicted poor Romulus as a memetic virgin, it was more from sheer pathos than the usual reprehensible character for which Dovahhatty reserved depiction as virgins.

Otherwise, Dovahhatty’s depictions in order of my rankings –

AVITUS: Wojak

LIBIUS SEVERUS: Virgin

ANTHEMIUS: Wojak

OLYBRIUS: Wojak

GLYCERIUS: Wojak

JULIUS NEPOS: Wojak

 

RATING: 1 STAR*
F-TIER (WORST TIER)
EMPIRE-BREAKERS (although they were really more broken emperors at that point)