Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars

 

One of the most iconic photographs of war – Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima by Joe Rosenthal of the Associated Press

 

I’ve always found wars a fascinating subject of history, from the comfortable armchair of hindsight and the fortunate perspective of being well removed from any firsthand experience of them. History, particularly military history, has always been something of a hobby of mine. So of course I have ranked my Top 10 Wars of history.

Just some notes – these are not ranked by scale of destruction or historical impact, although I’d like to think that most or all of these entries would rank highly by those criteria. They are also not ranked by moral justifiability or in terms of being ‘good’ wars, to the extent that such a term can be used for wars, if at all. Rather, they are ranked in terms of historical interest to me – and I tend to be interested in the broader themes of history, so I have preferred a broader classification of the wars in each entry, although I do nominate individual wars (or conquests or invasions) within each entry.

 

Just some further notes – I have some ratings within each entry:

 

ART OF WAR

Rating the wars by the art of war shown in them, typically by the victors of course, albeit based on my more idiosyncratic application of Sun Tzu’s Art of War.

 

WORLD WAR

Rating the wars by their scale – some wars might well be considered world wars (or at least part of world wars) beyond the two twentieth century wars formally designated as such, from World War Zero to World War X.

 

STILL FIGHTING THE WAR

Rating the wars by their span, particularly for those wars we are arguably still fighting.

 

GOOD GUYS VS BAD GUYS

Rating the wars by taking a shot at choosing moral sides or nominating the good guys and bad guys – or not, since history usually does not repay moral judgements.

 

So these are my top ten wars in history. You know the rules – this is one of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves.

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Books

Marble bust of Herodotus, the “Father of HIstory” – public domain image donated to Wikimedia Commons as part of a project by the Metropolitan Museum of Art

 

History repeats itself – the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.

History does not repeat but sometimes it rhymes.

History is just one damned thing after another.

Ah yes, history – and three of my favorite quotes about it.

The first is paraphrasing an actual quote by Karl Marx – often overlooked by people, even Marxists, as someone who could be quite the capable prose stylist when not bogged down in denser prose or theory.

The second is often attributed to Mark Twain – someone who is widely acknowledged as a capable prose stylist, except that he doesn’t seem to have actually said it.

The third quip is often quoted from historian Toynbee – correctly but somewhat misleadingly because firstly, it was adapted from a preceding popular saying about life, and secondly, he was using it to criticize historians who simply sought to chronicle history rather than analyze it.

Toynbee definitely fell in the latter category – a historian whose central theme was identifying, well, the themes of history, its cycles and patterns, its plot and rhythm (or history rhyming if you will).

History has been a subject that has fascinated me since childhood, when I read it avidly – and still does as I read it now, hence my Top 10 History Books.

The subject of history in its broadest sense is perhaps straightforward enough – “the systematic study and documentation” of the human past or past events, usually demarcated from prehistory as the past or events subsequent to the invention of writing systems (or written history in other words, although it might be corroborated by other sources such as archaeology).

Beyond that, it gets a little tricky with all the permutations of the various subjects of history or even the concept of history itself – so many permutations that it could be the subject of its own top ten and certainly has been the subject of debate among historians.

“History is an academic discipline which uses a narrative to describe, examine, question, and analyze past events, and investigate their patterns of cause and effect. Historians debate which narrative best explains an event, as well as the significance of different causes and effect. Historians debate the nature of history as an end in itself, and its usefulness in giving perspective on the problems of the present.”

I’m not here to seek to resolve any of these debates, if such a thing is even possible – I’m just here to read books on history and, you know, live in it. To adapt my own quote of living in a mythic world, I live in a historic world. We all do.

That said, what I will do is clarify my tastes in history books. I definitely lean more towards Toynbee’s concept of history as themes or patterns, preferring history books that are more analysis than chronicle. All my top ten might be said to be analytical or thematic history, albeit some more than others.

I also tend to prefer my thematic history on a grand scale – the scale of comparative or global history. Not always of course, but often – it is a preference after all, characterizing at least six of my top ten books.

I also tend to have a preference for military history – put bluntly, the history of wars and empires, or indeed of war and empire in the general thematic sense. The latter characterizes two of my top ten books as general histories of war and warfare.

Following on from the history of wars and empires, it might be cliched but foremost among my subjects of preference are the Roman Empire and the Second World War (although Alexander the Great and the Cold War are close – and somewhat overlapping – runners-up for each respectively). Two of my top ten books have their subject as a focus on the Roman Empire, while another two are with respect to the Second World War.

I also can’t invoke capable prose style in my introduction without noting my preference for a good or even literary prose style in my books of history – some historians or historical writers are definitely better than others.

So here are my top ten books of history. You know the rules – this is one of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves. Tenth place is my wildcard entry for the best entry from the previous year (2023).

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

Mega-City Law: Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics & Episodes (Special Mention: Themes & Tropes)

 

These are my thematic special mentions for the Judge Dredd comic – special mention not so much for individual epics or episodes of Judge Dredd but for the classic or other SF themes or tropes that recur in the comic.

 

 

(1) MUTANTS (CURSED EARTH & UNDER-CITY)

Mutants are a recurring classic theme or trope in SF in general, indeed up there with the top such themes or tropes, albeit not the very top – I’ll be featuring the top two such themes or tropes in my next two (second and third) special mentions.

However, mutants are an SF theme or trope that arguably looms the largest in Judge Dredd, indeed from the outset – with the mutant Brotherhood of Darkness featured as antagonists in the third episode of the comic. This is perhaps not surprising given the nature of Judge Dredd as post-apocalyptic SF – and not just any apocalypse but nuclear war, that most mutagenic of apocalypses.

When the Brotherhood of Darkness were introduced all the way back in the third episode of Judge Dredd, it was as a somewhat low key mutant incursion into Mega-City One, albeit a predecessor of one of my favorite recurring epic or episodic storylines of that type – an incursion into or invasion of Mega-City One from the Cursed Earth. Mind you, the Cursed Earth had a similarly low key introduction in this early episode, simply described as the “wilderness from the Atomic Wars”. However, that “wilderness” soon took its full shape as the Cursed Earth – if by wilderness of course you meant most of the former United States outside the coastal mega-cities (Mega-City One on the east coast, Mega-City Two on the west coast and Texas City on the Gulf coast), now dangerous and above all mutated badlands, the Weird West of Judge Dredd. The backstory is that the coastal mega-cities had their nuclear shields absent from the rest of the country. And so the Atomic Wars saw the United States replaced as a political entity by the three mega-cities, independent of but semi-allied to each other, and the United States government (that had launched the Atomic Wars) replaced by the Judges and Department of Justice in each Mega-City – a pattern apparently repeated almost everywhere else in the world as well.

Not surprisingly, the Cursed Earth took its full shape (and scope) in the epic named for it, in which the Brotherhood of Darkness recurred as more formidable antagonists. Similarly, that first true Judge Dredd epic storyline was the first in another of my favorite recurring epic or episodic storylines, like the previous one only in reverse – an incursion into the Cursed Earth from Mega-City One, usually by judges on a mission or so-called ‘hot dog’ run for training.

Back to our theme or trope for special mention, the Cursed Earth is essentially a mutated United States – not just in its mostly mutant human population, but also in virtually the entirety of its animal population, occasionally characters in their own right. Not to mention its flora, although more as backdrop than characters. Indeed, even the very geography often resembles some mutant abstraction.

Needless to say, Mega-City One and its inhabitants have mostly had an antagonistic relationship with the Cursed Earth and its mutant inhabitants, at least until recently. And by inhabitants of Mega-City One, that included the Judges or at least the Law – mutants were excluded from the city by law, whether mutants seeking to enter the city as illegal immigrants or even Mega-City citizens who were born with (or who manifested) a mutation. (Unless it was useful to the Judges, like a psi power).

However, that has changed recently, with Mega-City One and the Department of Justice evolving (heh) to a progressive policy – one that saw the Cursed Earth and its inhabitants as similarly part of the former United States, even territory or citizens to be reclaimed by the American mega-cities and their jurisdiction. Interestingly, Judge Dredd has always been one of the more progressive Judges when it comes to extending Mega-City One’s jurisdiction to mutants or the Cursed Earth – indeed, at his noblest and most heroic in his embodiment of duty extending the protection of the Law to any or all who call for its help, regardless of whether they are resident in Mega-City One or not, whether “mutie, alien, cyborg or human”. (Although he does seem to have blind spot when it comes to robots as potential citizens).

NOTABLE EPICS & EPISODES FEATURING MUTANTS (OR THE CURSED EARTH)

Too many to mention – essentially any time Judge Dredd leaves Mega-City One to the Cursed Earth, which is frequently after the epic of that name. Also when there are mutant incursions into the Cursed Earth, which is also frequently. Arguably includes the population of the Under-City as well – and Mega-City One has increasingly opened itself up to Cursed Earth migrants, who are, after all, also former Americans.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(2) ROBOTS (ROBOT WARS)

For the second of our thematic special mentions, it’s one of the top two recurring SF tropes in general and in Judge Dredd – robots, particularly Mega-City’s robot ‘population’. Robots loom large in Judge Dredd, even more so than mutants as their presence is ubiquitous throughout Mega-City One and the wider world of Judge Dredd. There are few episodes without some robot or other machine intelligence in it, at least in the background quietly performing some role. And indeed, robots were at the heart of the first Judge Dredd ‘epic’ in episodes 9-17, or more precisely mini-epic or longer story arc, albeit one that cemented the comic as an enduring series in 2000 AD – the Robot Wars.

The Robot Wars also covers the familiar SF territory of, well, a robot war – although perhaps not as familiar at the time of its publication prior to the Terminator and Matrix films. In this case, the robot war is led by messianic carpenter robot (oho!) Call-Me-Kenneth, although ‘he’ turns out to be closer to robo-Hitler. Ultimately Judge Dredd and humans in general prevail in the robot war, with a little help from loyalist robots (including recurring character Walter the Wobot), but the Robot Wars continue to cast a long shadow in the comic between humans and robots. There are some discordant notes in the storyline – the robots are likened to slaves for the Mega-City populace to live lives of ease. However, subsequent storylines show quite the opposite, that automation and robots have resulted in unemployment variously stated but at least 90% – with the overwhelming majority of the Mega-City population living lives of crime, drudgery and welfare dependency.

The relationship between robots and Mega-City’s human population in general – and its human Judges in particular – has been almost as problematic as Mega-City’s relationship with the mutant population of the former United States. And just as with mutants, Mega-City would seem to benefit from adopting a more nuanced or progressive approach to its robot population. If its robots do have genuine artificial intelligence (as they often seem to do), shouldn’t they be afforded citizenship status – or at least some legal status or protection? Indeed, its robot population generally seem to be more law-abiding and more observant of others, human or robot, than its human population.

As for Judge Dredd himself, he seems to have something of a blind spot to robots as potential citizens, even if he occasionally seems to be more sensitive to this issue than his fellow Judges on occasion, although not as charitably as he is towards mutants. And he was downright hostile in his opposition to robots as Judges – although he has warmed to them recently after robot Judges have been introduced despite his years of opposition to their use. So too have the Mega-City human population, again after some initial (and often openly hostile) opposition – with citizens now generally liking the robot Judges more than the human ones.

NOTABLE EPICS AND EPISODES FEATURING ROBOTS (OR ROBOT WARS)

Pretty much all of them, as robots are an ubiquitous feature of the twenty-second century

Robot Wars are somewhat less commonplace, most notably occurring in the story arc of that name (in progs 9-17 Case Files 1)

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(3) ALIENS

And rounding out our top three thematic special mentions is that other top SF trope, up there with robots as the top two tropes of SF and probably exceeding robots to be the top trope – aliens. Interestingly, for such a predominant trope in SF, aliens don’t feature as much in Judge Dredd as their robot counterparts, or even mutants, who would otherwise rank a distinctly distant third to aliens (if that) when ranking general SF tropes by popularity or prevalence.

Yes – aliens are there in Judge Dredd. The highly intelligent and noble alien Tweak, who resembled a bipedal rock-eating aardvark, featured prominently in Judge Dredd’s first true epic, The Cursed Earth – although it’s not entirely clear how an alien would find itself in the titular setting, of all places. The far less intelligent and far less noble alien mercenaries, the Kleggs, who resembled bipedal crocodilians, featured prominently in Dredd’s second epic immediately after that, The Day the Law Died (and unlike Tweek, would pop up occasionally elsewhere). And a whole plethora of aliens and alien worlds as Judge Dredd ventured into space in the Judge Child Quest. And from then on – aliens have featured in Judge Dredd, as occasional visitors or migrants to Earth, or perhaps more so, when Judge Dredd leaves Earth to visit alien space, but neither occurred frequently.

And there’s a reason that aliens feature so infrequently or irregularly in Judge Dredd – it’s because, to borrow a phrase from recent political notoriety, Earth is a shthole. It doesn’t exactly beckon as a stellar destination, and more usually discourages alien visitors, either openly in the form of outright bans and restrictions, or in the form of just being terrible to them. It is a post-apocalyptic planet still mostly uninhabitable from nuclear war after all, with a disturbingly frequent tendency to pile up more apocalypses and add hyphenated post- prefixes to that post-apocalyptic description. And Mega-City One would rank up there by all those descriptors – shthole, terrible place and ever more post-apocalyptic – although by no means the worst place in the future world and depressingly perhaps one of the best. In fairness, to borrow another phrase from recent political notoriety, the aliens usually aren’t sending their best either.

So to paraphrase the War of the Worlds musical adaptation, the chances of aliens coming to Earth, while perhaps not a million to one, tend to be low – but still, they come. From time to time at least – although usually not pleasant for either us or them.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(4) SPACE COLONIZATION

American Judges on the moon!

Space – the final frontier. Also one of the definitive tropes of SF – I have a friend, whose running gag is to argue with me that only films set in space are science fiction, much to my frustration.

Now while obviously I dissent from that definition as far too narrow (don’t get me started), it is true that space and space colonization is one of the definitive tropes of science fiction, ranking almost up there with the duo of robots and aliens that feature in my second and third top thematic special mention entries.

And it is a trope that features prevalently in Judge Dredd almost from its outset. There’s the aforementioned American Judges on the moon, in the Luna-1 mini-epic in progs 42-58, where Judge Dredd is appointed Judge Marshall to the titular American lunar colony, first and largest of the lunar colonies, the administration of which was effectively shared between the three American mega-cities. Other mega-cities – notably the Sov-cities and Sino-cities – also had or have lunar colonies.

Even before that, however, Mega-City One’s most infamous space colony played an important background role – the penal space colony on Titan, to which Judges who break the law are sentenced, after being surgically altered with technology to survive un-suited in the colony. The result is not pretty, although I’m not entirely sure it would work either. Anyway, Titan featured in the background to the Return of Rico in prog 30, in which Judge Dredd’s clone brother returns to Mega-City One for vengeance against Dredd.

There’s also various orbital colonies or space ships which are effectively the same thing, just not bound to the surface of any moon or planet, albeit more for those elite enough to afford it, as in the film Elysium.

Mega-City One not only maintained its Justice Department space ship, styled as Justice-One in a similar fashion to the presidential Air Force One, but also maintains a space corps or space marines to “control a limited space empire”, including colonies or stations throughout the solar system, often in competition with space colonies of other mega-cities. There also seems to be regular space traffic to and from Mega-City One.

More far-flung human colonies, deep in alien space, seemingly independent of any mega-city on Earth, feature in the Judge Child Quest, including the planet Xanadu, where the human colony resembled the American West.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(5) TIME TRAVEL (ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS)

That archetypal SF theme or trope, time travel was introduced with Justice Department’s prototype Proteus time travel device in the City of the Damned epic – where of course it is the literal plot device to investigate Mega-City One’s destruction predicted by precognitive Psi-Judge Feyy for 2120, thirteen years in the future at that point in the storyline. It also is the literal plot device to resolve that epic as Judge Dredd simply fixes the future in the present. With extreme prejudice.

Once introduced, time travel became more regular in the comic. In the two years after Justice Department used their vast resources to build their prototype time machine, a citizen – albeit a mad scientist- just pops off and builds his own to snatch up Jack the Ripper from the past. We also saw a freak natural wormhole in time that did the same, plucking a German air patrol from the Second World War and throwing it into Mega-City One. Time travel was to recur in both forms, that is by occasional ‘natural’ occurrences, but more frequently by deliberate human invention, primarily by Justice Department itself. For the latter, Justice Department use of time travel technology was so prolific that it created a unit for it, the Future Crimes Unit – which challenges Psi Division for jurisdiction, with its predictive powers of actually going to the future to see it being touted over Psi Division’s precognitive talent. We don’t quite get to see all that prolific use in the comic itself however, but it does recur on occasion in narratives involving Judge Dredd.

And then there’s the dimensional travel between alternate dimensions or parallel worlds that was introduced even earlier – with Judge Death and the Dark Judges, as well as the Apocalypse Warp used by the Sovs.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(6) APOCALYPSE

If anything defines the world of Judge Dredd, it is that it is dystopian and post-apocalyptic SF satire

And I do mean post-apocalyptic – although the world of Judge Dredd is more accurately post-post-apocalyptic (and so on, with additional prefixes) because recurring apocalypses are a feature of that world. After all, it’s hard to get more apocalyptic than an event called the Apocalypse War (to which this entry and the following entry pay tribute by their titles).

Indeed, the world of Judge Dredd was definitively shaped by an apocalyptic event – the Atomic Wars of 2070, perhaps not surprisingly for the comic’s origins in the heightened Cold War tension of the 1970’s and 1980’s. And most of the world and its oceans still has the scars as radioactive wasteland – with the Cursed Earth, almost the entire interior of the former United States, and the Black Atlantic, as definitive parts of Judge Dredd’s world, the former from the second episode.

However, Judge Dredd is more than just dystopian or post-apocalyptic, it is dystopian or post-apocalyptic satire – in that it plays with virtually every dystopian or post-apocalyptic trope, mostly with tongue in cheek for black comedy.

Of course, there are the standard earth-shattering tropes – literally in the Apocalypse War, where we get to see an entire alternate dimension earth shattered as an aside. As we’ve seen, the world of Judge Dredd originated in nuclear war with the Atomic Wars – and the Soviets had another red-hot go at it in the Apocalypse War, still Judge Dredd’s most apocalyptic epic, at least in terms of Mega-City One’s body count.

Interestingly, reflecting more recent times, the apocalyptic weapons of choice moved from nuclear war to biological terrorism – what the Apocalypse War started, the Chaos Bug all but finished.

However, at least at the outset, the world of Judge Dredd was curiously one of the most populous post-apocalyptic settings due to the huge conurbations or mega-cities with populations in the tens or hundreds of millions that survived the Atomic Wars because of their missile defense systems. And so you have a world that ironically both a post-apocalyptic setting AND a claustrophobically crowded dystopian setting, with the world’s population crammed into mega-cities that are themselves socioeconomic dystopias within the larger global and environmental dystopia.

“What do Judge Dredd, Mad Max and Adventure Time all have in common? They’re three of the best post-apocalyptic narratives we’ve ever seen. And they’re all slightly ludicrous, ranging from outright surrealism to mad social satire. In fact, the best post-apocalyptic storytelling is usually kind of ridiculous”.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(7) WAR

War, huh, yeah!
What is it good for?

Well in science fiction, quite a lot actually – often critically driving the plot or premise of SF works. And Judge Dredd is no exception – the fundamental premise on which the world of Judge Dredd built, is essentially World War Three, or the Atomic Wars of 2070.

You’d think that the world’s mega-cities might be wary of war, as the post-apocalyptic remnants – albeit populous – of the Atomic Wars. But no – they’re surprisingly keen to duke it out, and nuke it out, in wars. Particularly so for the long-running rivalry between the American Mega-City One and the Soviet East Meg One – which saw its ultimate escalation in the Apocalypse War, wiping out half of the former and all of the latter, with a body count of almost a billion people.

In fairness, international wars – or rather, their equivalent in Judge Dredd’s world, inter-city wars, since the mega-cities are effectively nations in size and purpose – are uncommon.

There’s even wars in space, although wars in the lunar colony are fought as some sort of bizarre sport, Rollerball style. There doesn’t seem to be quite the same restraint in the rest of space though, as demonstrated by Mega-City One’s Space Corps. (And there was that alien planet of nearly war, albeit again fought in a bizarre analogue of televised sport, which Dredd encountered in the Judge Child Quest).

But mostly the wars in Judge Dredd are smaller scale wars – with the majority arguably as civil wars, albeit somewhat one-sided, as with Dredd’s tiny resistance force in The Day the Law Died. More notable, and even more definitive of Mega-City One, are the ‘block wars’ fought between neighbouring residential blocks, usually by the Citi-Def forces of each block – which ironically are intended for civilian defence against external threats (or usurpation of Justice Department by another Chief Judge like Cal).

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(8) CLONES

Send in the clones!

Clones may not have the same prevalence as aliens or robots in SF, but are a recurring trope – which looms large in Judge Dredd, not least because Dredd himself is a clone. Even the Stallone film got that right.

Dredd – Joseph Dredd – is a clone of the first Chief Judge, the Father of Justice, Eustace T Fargo. As was Rico Dredd, Joseph Dredd’s corrupt clone-brother, introduced as early as prog 30 in what is technically his last as well as his first appearance, since Dredd guns him down in a showdown. Technically that is, as Rico did appear in subsequent episodes (set before his death) and remains a fundamental element in the Dredd mythos – metaphorically Dredd will always carry his clone brother with him. Dredd – and his story – remains haunted by this taint in the (clone) bloodline – with Rico as his shadow, the potential corrupt version of himself, and on a larger scale, the Department of Justice (as all Dredd’s best adversaries are dark shadows of himself and the Judges in general – including his ultimate adversary Judge Death and the Dark Judges).

Thereafter we are introduced to other Dredd clones – or more precisely Fargo clones. There’s the rogue Judda in the Oz epic, who sought to clone citizens for obedience and used a number of clone bloodlines including that of Fargo – particularly Judge Kraken, who is rehabilitated by Mega-City One’s Justice Department after the Judda are defeated, only for his fall as tragic figure in Necropolis.

However, despite Kraken, Justice Department has sought other Dredd clones, with a view to replacing Dredd himself when he ages beyond active duty or is killed in duty (essentially the same thing, as we know Dredd will take the Long Walk). Of these, Rico is the best and obvious successor to Dredd himself. That’s not the first Rico – the clone took Rico’s name for surname, feeling the name deserved a second and better chance. The other Dredd clones are more hit and miss, at least as replacement for Dredd himself.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(9) PSI

 

Ah – psi! The greek letter adapted by science fiction and used for the full spectrum of psychic phenomena or mental abilities, such as telepathy or telekinesis, to make them sound more science-y. And hence also used in Judge Dredd, where psi not only ranks as one of our thematic special mentions, but also as a division within Justice Department, notably introduced with Psi-Judge Anderson in the first Judge Death storyline. Psi-Division deals in psychic and supernatural phenomena, particularly threats to Mega-City One, using Judges with psychic or psi abilities.

 

And so it’s apt that Psi-Division was introduced along with Judge Death, one of the more horror-themed storylines and adversaries in Judge Dredd, as psi and horror tend to be a matched pair within the Dreddverse – the psychic and supernatural phenomena or threats with which Psi-Division deals tend to resemble standard supernatural horror.

 

Interestingly, psi abilities predated the introduction of Psi-Division within the comics – indeed, introduced with a stray mutant youth in The Cursed Earth epic who brought down the mutant Brotherhood of Darkness with his powers.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(10) HORROR

 

Horror is a genre that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd. Well perhaps that’s not too surprising given my thematic special mentions feature recurring horror elements or antagonists – most demonstrably spiders (particularly the mutant spiders that occur on the scale they do in Judge Dredd) but also mutants, robots, aliens and dinosaurs to some degree or other, as well as vampires and werewolves. And that’s even before we get to antagonists such as the Dark Judges and Judge Death.

 

You could argue that daily life in Mega-City One is something of a horror story – at least in the survival horror genre. Or that there are muted elements of horror even in epics that are not otherwise horror – for example Block Mania resembles the rage virus you see in some horror films (such as 28 Days Later) and the Sovs use less humanoid robot terminators in the Apocalypse War.

 

Of course, I’m not sure that many epics or episodes would be horror in the purest sense – after all, our protagonist is probably a little too invulnerable and there’s too many other genres bouncing around for that. Yet many at least contain some horror elements – often playfully borrowed from the genre (usually to provide antagonists for Dredd) or ones that could readily be recast as horror.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(11) APES

Apes are a surprisingly prevalent trope in SF – an evocation of evolution and echo of human nature. Apes had been used for the latter in literature long predating SF or evolutionary theory, but SF offered a new trope – ‘uplift’ apes. That is, apes ‘uplifted’ through human technological enhancement to a higher level of intelligence, even rivaling humanity. Perhaps the most famous example is the Planet of the Apes franchise.

The world of Judge Dredd is no planet of apes – nor is Mega-City One a city of apes – but there are uplift apes, introduced in the earliest episodes of Judge Dredd no less. Unfortunately, they were introduced as living in a ghetto dubbed the Jungle, which smacks of, ah, apist stereotype. Perhaps even more unfortunately, they were also introduced through the so-called Ape Gang, an ape criminal gang that styled itself on equally stereotypical Italian-American 1930’s mobsters (headed by Don Uggie Apelino with his lieutenants Fast Eeek and Joe Bananas).

Of course, the Ape Gang did not prosper when it went head-to-head with Dredd – and for that matter the Jungle was destroyed during the Apocalypse War. However, uplift apes did survive in Mega-City One, occasionally popping up when the writers remember them – and fortunately as more engaging characters.

More regular or non-uplift apes have also popped up in the Judge Dredd comic. I wouldn’t anticipate many survived the Atomic Wars, even in Africa or Asia given the extent of global devastation, at least in non-mutated form. However, apes appear to be kept as pets – most famously including the orangutan Dave, who was voted in as Mayor of Mega-City One. Indeed, the most popular politician Mega-City One has ever had (not that either the office of mayor or city council count for much), although sadly it did not save him from assassination. It does beg the question of why an uplift ape hasn’t sought the office, hoping to recapture the popularity of Dave.

And also apes or at least ape-like creatures have popped up in the reverse to uplift – as devolved humans, in one of my favorite episodes of Judge Dredd, Monkey Business at Charles Darwin Block. Speaking of monkey business, I’ll expand this entry to include monkeys as well. We’re all primates here!

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(12) DINOSAURS

Or as I like to call this thematic special mention, Jurassic Dredd.

No, seriously – Judge Dredd did Jurassic Park before Jurassic Park. Yes, even the novel. The Cursed Earth epic introduced that there are dinosaurs roaming the Cursed Earth, because why the hell not? Essentially, it was the same premise as Jurassic Park – genetically re-engineered dinosaurs were created for the Dinosaur National Park in the continental United States, but survived and were let loose by the Atomic Wars.

For that matter, the 2000 AD anthology comic (which features Judge Dredd) has a special relationship with dinosaurs, owing mostly to writer Pat Mills. With his characteristic misanthropic style, Mills will essentially favor any antagonist – robot, alien, even great white sharks – over humans, particularly if that antagonist kills humans more violently than most. In fairness, the humans in his stories usually have it coming – indeed, it is the humans that are the antagonists. (With the exception of Judge Dredd – for whom Mills had a soft spot as co-creator and usually showcased human heroism).

And those misanthropic tendencies took shape with dinosaurs in his beloved Flesh series – a series that started in the opening line-up in the very first issue of 2000 AD (preceding Judge Dredd itself, which only started in the second issue, albeit due to scheduling difficulties). That series had an intriguing premise – that the extinction of dinosaurs occurred because they were herded or hunted to extinction by time cowboys from the future, seeking to feed the meat-starved twenty-third century. One can’t help but feel Mills wanted to shoehorn dinosaurs into his Cursed Earth epic from his Flesh series – which he did, not just figuratively in its use of dinosaurs, but literally in that his Cursed Earth tyrannosaur Satanus is some sort of genetic reincarnation of one of the offspring of the main tyrannosaur from Flesh. Somehow I don’t think genetic re-engineering works that way.

Anyway, dinosaurs have been roaming the Cursed Earth ever since, although not in great number and only rarely when writers remember or want to use them. Which is not as often as I would like – which is to say every episode of Judge Dredd, because everything’s better than dinosaurs. Or perhaps not as often as its special mention might suggest, but dinosaurs will always get special mention from me. And because it’s not like I don’t have the cover image of Satanus about to chow down on a bound Dredd – one of the most iconic images, if not the most iconic image, of the Cursed Earth epic – and will not use it any chance I get. Indeed, it was my introduction to the epic, as I saw it as a ‘flashback’ poster in 2000 AD comics well before I read the epic itself, so I was left in suspense for years as to how Dredd escaped those gaping jaws.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(13) SPIDERS

If dinosaurs earn thematic special mention in Judge Dredd Comics, then so too do spiders, particularly for this arachnophobe fan – Judge Dredd gets spider-iffic surprisingly often, and more often than he gets Jurassic. Although of course the spiders in Judge Dredd are essentially a subset of our special theme of mutants or mutation, courtesy of the Cursed Earth, that endless source of mutant weirdness.

After all, we’re not talking your humdrum household spiders here – we’re talking mutant spiders that are on an entirely different scale of horror. We’re talking mutant spiders on a vast numerical scale – the spider-invasion of Mega-City One by a mega-swarm of billions of insanely toxic Cursed Earth spiders in The Black Plague mini-epic. But in subsequent episodes, we’re also talking mutant spiders on a monstrous physical scale – the usual giant spiders that are stock of schlock horror, not least the titantic tarantula from one Judge Dredd annual special (in our feature image). And we’re even talking a rare disease that turns people into giant spiders, that occasionally pops up in Mega-City One

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(14) DISEASE

 

Yes – disease ranks a special thematic mention, aptly enough in these pandemic times. Disease is something that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd – and at a surprisingly substantial level of narrative importance, indeed holding the fate of mega-cities in the balance. Disease is at the heart of the first true Judge Dredd epic, albeit mostly offstage – as an existential threat to Mega-City One’s West Coast counterpart, Mega-City Two, which prompts Dredd’s epic quest across the Cursed Earth to deliver the vaccine. Of course, they, ahem, borrowed the storyline from Roger Zelazny’s Damnation Alley, just in the opposite direction, as the storyline in Damnation Alley was that a former Hell’s Angel had to drive a vaccine from the West Coast to the East Coast in a post-apocalyptic United States after a nuclear war.

As for the disease itself, no boring flu or anything like that for Judge Dredd’s first epic – it’s akin to the Rage virus in the 28 Days Later film franchise, although its victims are marginally more intelligent and articulate, not quite the de facto zombies of that franchise. Apparently, “it’s a disease left over from the Great Germ War… you know, the one that came after the Atomic War”. Judge Dredd’s world tends to be post-post-apocalyptic. It’s a wonder that ANYONE is alive in the twenty-second century, let alone the hundreds of millions of people in Mega-City One.

Nor is that the last existential threat to a mega-city from disease as a bioweapon, although in subsequent storylines that threat is to Mega-City One – most destructively in the recent Day of Chaos storyline, where the disease once again seems to have a rage virus effect. Also most poignantly, as the Judges fail to avert the disease overwhelming the city and instead must resort to desperate, heartbreaking city-wide triage as they evacuate a small uninfected remnant of the population to safe zones.

And then there are the less existentially threatening but more exotic diseases that occasionally bubble up to the surface of the Dreddverse – usually of a mutant or alien variety. Again – no boring flu or anything like that here. In fairness, one of these might have been existentially threatening if not contained – Grubb’s Disease, named for the ex-mayor who contracted it, although it is not so much a genuine disease caused by bacteria or virus, but an extremely virulent and ultimately fatal mutant fungus that grows on humans. Fortunately, while inescapably virulent (in that its growth cannot be stopped once on a human host), it is slow-acting and hence more readily able to be contained before it spreads by spores (upon death of its host).

And so we come to my personal favorite (and my featured image) from the Judge Child Quest – Jigsaw Disease! You do not want to catch Jigsaw Disease – a disease so alien it does not make any sense. If anything, it doesn’t seem to work on a biological level so much as an extra-dimensional one. Parts of the body vanish, literally like taking pieces out of a jigsaw – and although they are clearly not there as things pass (or fall) through the now vacant spaces, the remaining body parts stay in place and continue to function as if the missing body parts were there, even down to a disembodied eye or mouth. Uh…quantum entanglement? Of course, there’s no real explanation other than magic or fantasy. (Indeed, I’d love to see jigsaw disease or a variant of it in a fantasy setting).

As the patient himself exclaims to his doctor on an alien world (that itself, like Jigsaw Disease, resembles a surreal Magritte painting), “It just doesn’t make any sense! How do I say together? Why don’t I feel any pain? Where am I disappearing to?”. Worse, despite the painlessness of it, jigsaw disease is fatal. As the alien doctor informs his patient – “There is no cure for jigsaw disease. When a piece of you is lost, it’s lost forever! I’d give you forty days at most. You’ll go on wasting, until…you’re just not there!”

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(15) FADS

 

Of course, this is arguably the broadest of our thematic special mentions, since as a dystopian future satire Judge Dredd is comprised of one trend or another extrapolated to absurdly or blackly comic intensity – “a society in which every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming”.

This entry is for the recurring storyline idea of which I am particularly fond – Mega-City One’s innumerable consumer fads. Of course, in a mega-city where hundreds of millions of bored and unemployed citizens (from a 90% unemployment rate due to automation) pursue various hobbies, futuristic or otherwise, at best (or commit crimes at worse), even that more narrowly defined theme can be very broad.

My soft spot is for those ill-conceived and short-lived consumer fads that bubble to the surface of Mega-City One life – usually to unintended consequences that range from unpleasant to disastrous, with the latter involving the direct intervention of the Justice Department, usually by banning them. Weird and dangerous consumer fads are a recurring feature of Mega-City One – we have never seen Justice Department’s Consumer Protection Division, but it must surely be the most unsung and hardest working division within the Department.

A substantial proportion of consumer fads originate it with Otto Sump, introduced in Case Files Volume 3 – Mega-City One’s ugliest citizen handpicked by Judge Dredd himself as bait to root out criminals preying on the winners of the hit TV show, Sob Story. Sump then used the fortune he won – the highest ever on the show – to bankroll one dubious fad after another, much to the disdain of Dredd whom Sump persists in seeing as a friend, although at least the fads Sump promoted tended to be unsightly and more unpleasant than disastrous.

One of my favorite examples of such fads is also representative of their idiocy and that of Mega-City One’s citizens – the things marketed as couch potatoes depicted in my feature image. One wonders how such monstrosities – weird genetically engineered vegetative lifeforms, but of creepy humanoid appearance with some mobility and ability to “talk” – could ever catch on as household ‘companions’, notably in their titular role of sitting beside people as they watched television. And of course, as usual, there’s a catch with unintended consequences – the couch potatoes are designed with some rudimentary psychic ability to ‘read’ people’s thoughts, all the better for ‘conversation’ about television shows with their owners. Unfortunately, that ability also allows the couch potatoes to control thoughts as well – only of course, with people themselves of the most rudimentary intelligence, but as Dredd dryly observes, in other words two thirds of Mega-City One’s citizen population…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(16) DRUGS

 

Drugs also rank a special thematic mention – although they aren’t as prolific as one might expect in storylines about crime in a dystopian future police state. In fairness, they probably do feature as often as other special thematic mentions – probably more so than apes, dinosaurs, and spiders or about as much as disease, but not quite looming as large as the latter’s narrative importance unless of course you count Oracle Spice or the chemical agent that induced Block Mania. And like disease, we’re not talking any boring contemporary drugs – not least because that might have been too much in the nature of adult content for the initial publication of the comic, which similarly had to edit sexual references and language (hence the use of drokk as an expletive) – but more exotic futuristic or even alien drugs.

As mentioned, one drug of substantial narrative importance was the alien Oracle Spice featured in the Judge Child Quest, indeed to the point that the Judge Child Quest might have been titled in part the Oracle Spice Quest. It was extremely psychoactive, so much so that it induced psychic ability – particularly as its name suggests, precognitive visions. However, those visions were about as cryptic as historical oracles and killed the single unfortunate Judge who used them – not to mention that its sole source, the giant alien toad Sagbelly, was killed by Judge Dredd, so there’s no more where that came from and hence it was limited to that storyline.

Another drug or chemical agent of fundamental narrative importance as the one planted in Mega-City One’s water supplies by the Soviets to induce city-wide Block Mania and cripple the mega-city prior to the Apocalypse War. As such, it was second only to the Chaos Bug bioweapon in its city-destroying potential, albeit indirectly as the real destruction came from the affected citizens to each other and the Soviet attack on the weakened mega-city.

Of course, some drugs are even used by the Judges, notably anti-aging drugs that seem to be part of a whole panoply of anti-aging technologies or treatments – which of course accounts for Judge Dredd in his eighties having the health and fitness of a man half his age.

As we mentioned, criminal ‘street’ drugs tend to be exotic futuristic or alien drugs. An example of the latter is another anti-aging drug, but which is illegal in this case – as it has to be lethally harvested from the glands of a sentient alien species known as Stookies. Otherwise, the usual named criminal street drug that recurs in Judge Dredd stories is the stimulant Zziz.

More interestingly – and thematically consistent with the dystopian future police state theme – are those substances that have been outlawed as drugs, allowing the writers to use them as analogous to contemporary drugs in storylines. The most notable of these is sugar, which is written as a direct parallel to cocaine, even in its point of origin in the corrupt Pan-Andean conurb. And it looks like Mega-City One criminals have a sweet tooth because another outlawed substance is the fictional Umpty candy, originally manufactured lawfully (presumably without sugar) but then outlawed as it was just so delicious it was addictive, even to machines (somehow).

Perhaps the most significant drug of all ironically did not originate in the comics, but in the 2012 Dredd film – the drug Slo-Mo, which pretty much is exactly what it says on the tin causing a ‘high’ of slow-motion perception, and is the basis for the antagonist Ma-Ma’s criminal empire.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(17) MAGIC & GODS

 

That’s right. Magic.

Not psi. Magic.

Judge Dredd is a SF fantasy kitchen sink in which anything goes – including magic. Of course, usually the comic attempts an SF veneer of psi over what, to all intensive purposes and functional effect, is magic. Every so often however it defaults to pure fantasy magic – albeit usually for comic effect, with magic coming up second best against the Law.

The definitive classic story – and I believe the first – to this effect was The Genie in prog 514, which featured a cover in which Dredd substitutes three years in the cubes for the genie’s three wishes, and for the concluding punchline “Judge Dredd proves that magic is no defence from the law”. And also the magic premise of a literal genie of the lamp, three wishes and all. That’s right – we were dealing with outright magic here, without even any bare pretence at it being some sort of mutation or psi. Judge Dredd is predominantly SF, albeit very much on the softer side with all that psi and so on, but every so often it defaults to fantasy, including magic. Not too often of course, but enough to bubble up to the surface every now and then, as here, even if it is a little silly.

Although it wasn’t the first time we encountered magic in Judge Dredd, as Murd the Necromancer literally resurrected Dredd with it in The Judge Child Quest. Of course, back then, we weren’t sure it was magic, given that the quest was driven by psi, as well as all that weird galactic alien stuff and Oracle Spice. For that matter, the Dark Judges are clearly supernatural or magic in nature, but of course that just seemed part of their extradimensional schtick (and of course psi featured heavily with them as well).

We definitely see more magic for comic effect in the Judge Dredd comic subsequent to The Genie. And I’m totally going to include Toots Milloy, the witch in my feature image, in my Top 10 Girls of Judge Dredd when we reach her.

And then there are gods. That’s right – actual gods, ot at least their functional equivalent. They exist, but usually to the same comic effect as magic in Judge Dredd.

We’ll include God in this as well or at least His functional equivalent, although Hé’s usually called Grud in the Judge Dredd comic – not, I suspect, because it was a plausible evolution of language but to avoid any issues with publication. Later issues have tended to drop Grud for God.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(18) WEREWOLVES & VAMPIRES

Werewolves and vampires, oh my!

As I noted in its thematic special mention entry, horror is a genre that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd – and given that the world of Judge Dredd is a regular SF fantasy kitchen sink in which anything goes, sooner or later werewolves were going to appear. As they did in The Cry of the Werewolf epic (which got its title from a film) in Case Files 7.

Of course, the Judge Dredd comic tends to prefer SF rationales for its fantasy, even if that SF is extremely soft on the Moh scale of SF hardness. So not surprisingly, the introduction of werewolves into Mega-City One strove to give them an unconvincing scientific explanation, as unconvincing as the spider bite in Spider Man – a mutagenic or more precisely lycanthropic chemical that had bubbled up in the Undercity.

And where werewolves went, vampires were sure to follow – as they did with the vampire Judges in the City of the Damned epic. In that epic, the comic doesn’t even bother with a SF explanation, except in so far as ‘psi’ powers are a SF catch-all explanation for what is basically fantasy magic – all (future) Mega-City One Judges have been turned into vampires by the Mutant. Well, except for future Dredd. He’s a zombie.

That epic might readily have seen vampires become a one-off feature. After all, the vampires in that epic were the Judges from the future 2120 timeline transformed into vampires by the uniquely powerful psi ability of the mutated Owen Krysler or Judge Child. However, Volume 9 reintroduced vampires with its Noseferatu storyline, opening the floodgates for them becoming a recurring and surprisingly regular feature with its Nosferatu storyline. Not so much werewolves though, as it’s difficult to adapt the classic werewolf so that they are recognizable as such – whereas the basic themes or tropes of vampires can be readily adapted by any number of fantasy or SF rationales. One such was the Nosferatu storyline in Case Files 9 – the name was a dead giveaway of course, although the vampire tropes were adapted to a spider-like alien with similar abilities and appetite for blood.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(19) DRAMA & TRAGEDY

Day of Chaos – gruddamn you, 2000 AD, you tore my heart out with that story!

As a sci-fi fantasy kitchen sink, Judge Dredd extends to a diverse range of genres, albeit obviously not pure or high fantasy – and admittedly not particularly hard SF either. Of course, it is not primarily science fiction or fantasy – it’s primarily a dystopian satire or black comedy in a science fiction setting. For that matter, it has shared elements of genres beyond science fiction or fantasy, albeit in the usual suspects for its central premise – crime or heist fiction, espionage, or war fiction, and of course drama, particularly police drama.

And then there is the diversity of tone. Predominantly its tone is that of tongue-in-cheek black comedy or satire. Primarily, Judge Dredd is funny or comic, in contrast to what might otherwise be an unbearably tragic post-apocalyptic setting – the best post-apocalyptic fiction is absurdist at heart. Judge Dredd is a futuristic Dirty Harry in a post-apocalyptic dystopian SF satire. As such, its predominant tone is comedy, albeit generally absurdist or black comedy, “ranging from outright surrealism to mad social satire”.

Yet even here it can vary, particularly as Mega-City, its Judges and its citizens have engaged more depth of emotional reaction – from comic to dramatic and indeed to tragic. Every so often it varies, the writers recall that the Judges are essentially a police state, but that a police state necessarily involves police – with all the potential for drama or personal tragedy that police or crime stories can involve.

The tragic stories could be heartbreaking or heartrending – they typically involved stories of individuals crushed by life in Mega-City One, often not so much by deliberate cruelty but by the vast impersonal carelessness of the city, and some so that even Dredd was moved by their tragedy. And then occasionally Judges or the whole city are overwhelmed by tragedy – apocalyptic crises for Mega-City tended to be somewhat absurdist, but not always so as they ventured beyond the absurdist or comic to tragic, as in the Day of Chaos epic. Such stories – particularly the heartbreaking individual ones – tend to stand out among other episodes of the Judge Dredd comic as a result, as well as among my personal favorites.

You could argue that drama and tragedy feature close to the very origin of Judge Dredd, with his brother Rico (“He ain’t heavy – he’s my brother!”), but also that its poignant high point was in the democracy storyline, starting with Letter from a Democrat in Case Files 9

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(20) DEMOCRACY & TERROR

A thematic special mention entry, which is alliterative to the preceding special mention entry for drama and tragedy – aptly so, as they overlap in Judge Dredd. One might say that the Judge Dredd comic is at its most dramatic – and tragic – in episodes revolving around Mega-City One’s democracy and terror movements. And of course, there’s an overlap between democracy and terror in Judge Dredd – firstly, as Justice Department tends to see even Mega-City One’s peaceful democracy movement as terrorists, and secondly, as that a large part of that movement devolved into or fed Mega-City One’s terror movements when doomed to Justice Department’s boot in its face forever (or Justice Department’s own state terror).

It is through the underground democracy movement that we see Justice Department and the Judges at their darkest, but ironically also the comic at its most morally ambiguous or complex.

From the outset, Judge Dredd and his fellow Judges were intended as a dystopian satire of the worst excesses of police and government authority fused together into a post-apocalyptic police state. And yet, also from the outset, Dredd co-creator Pat Mills, best known for his anti-authoritarian themes, wrote Dredd – the ultimate authority figure – as a heroic character. As I’ve said before, Judge Dredd is essentially Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire, reflecting both the heroic and anti-heroic nature of that character as his predecessor. That has deepened over time to other Judges and the Justice Department in general, as those intended figures of authoritarian satire have earned their writers’ respect as potentially heroic characters.

Of course, that’s easier when the Judges face off against the violent crime or criminals that threaten to overwhelm Mega-City One – let alone the apocalyptic threats to the mega-city’s very existence. Although it might be noted that the most characteristic enemies or apocalyptic threats have essentially been dark inversions of the corruption or authoritarian violence of the Judges themselves – from Dredd’s rogue clone Rico at a smaller scale, to the insane Chief Judge Cal, or Judge Death and the Dark Judges at a larger scale, even arguably the Judge Child Owen Krysler or the Soviet Judges.

However, that’s dramatically reversed when the Judges are pitted against their own citizens, particularly those in the substantial democracy movement – for whom the Judges and Justice Department are definitely not the good guys. Indeed, from our perspective, it is difficult not to share their viewpoint of the democracy movement as the true heroes of Mega-City One, while the Judges and Justice Department as the true villains. Certainly, Justice Department and the Judges, included Dredd, are at their most villainous – or at least anti-heroic – when it comes to stamping down on the democracy movement, which they identify as terrorist.

And yet…

TV Tropes stated it best:

“By his very nature and purpose, anti-hero Dredd is firmly committed to his organization’s authoritarian, brutal, and ruthless methods of law enforcement, but it’s established that Mega City One would collapse without him and his fellow Judges, and more than once has. Though Dredd is impeccably honest and honorable, despises corruption, does not discriminate, goes out of his way to save innocents…and has been given cause to question his purpose more than once, he is an unapologetic authoritarian. In this setting, democracy within his society has been shown to be simply unworkable”.

This moral complexity is also apparent in the heroic self-sacrifice of the ideal Judges, such as Dredd, sworn to uphold the law and protect Mega-City. Dredd himself has consistently accepted the potential sacrifice of his own life to protect the citizens or even a citizen of Mega-City One (and even the residents of the Cursed Earth or anyone looking to the protection of the Law). The life of a Mega-City Judge is somewhat monastic, even deliberately Spartan. After years of training, their duty is entirely to uphold the Law, enduring constant danger of death, typically without personal relationships, certainly without personal riches or reward or even retirement – as the practice of Judges is to retire from active duty with the Long Walk, a quintessentially American Western image of leaving Mega-City and roaming the Cursed Earth, to bring law to the lawless.

Often Dredd is characterized as a fascist, with much – dare I say it? – justice (and indeed dangerous tendencies in that direction), but ultimately I would argue that he is not a fascist (and Mega-City One is not totalitarian) in the strictest sense. Dredd and his Mega-City One are undeniably authoritarian – part of a police state that is almost casually brutal and draconian in its enforcement of law – but Dredd would seem to be a little too legalistic to be a true fascist and lacking the definitive characteristics of historical fascism.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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And here are all 20 of my thematic special mentions:

 

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) MUTANTS (CURSED EARTH)

(2) ROBOTS (ROBOT WARS)

(3) ALIENS

(4) SPACE COLONIZATION

(5) TIME TRAVEL (ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS)

(6) APOCALYPSE

(7) WAR

 

A-TIER

 

(8) CLONES

(9) PSI

(10) HORROR

(11) APES

(12) DINOSAURS

(13) SPIDERS

(14) DISEASE

(15) FADS

(16) DRUGS

(17) GODS & MAGIC

(18) VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES

(19) DRAMA & TRAGEDY

(20) DEMOCRACY & TERROR

 

 

 

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (Complete Top 10)

 

Exactly what it says on the tin – my top ten films.

 

Well, perhaps not quite exactly as these are my top ten non-‘genre’ films – that is, excluding ‘genre’ films such as fantasy or SF films, animated films, films adapted from comics, and horror films, all of which have their own top tens. I also rank comedy films in their own top ten.

 

That said, quite a few of my non-genre films have fantasy or SF elements, just not predominantly so to rank them within the genre – but I will have a special section in each entry to note fantasy or SF elements. Also, almost every film has comedic elements or at least the odd gag – after all, one could classify almost every narrative work by the comedy-tragedy dichotomy of classical Greek drama – so I will also have a special section for comedy in each entry.

 

And yes – I know animation is more a medium than its own genre, although animated films are predominantly fantasy or SF genre. The same goes for films adapted from comics, although that depends on the genre of comic.

 

And no – despite my feature image being the poster for Citizen Kane, “frequently cited as the greatest film ever made”, it is not in my top ten, although I suppose that fortuitously avoids spoiling any entry. While I have seen it, found it engaging enough, and acknowledge its innovative technical brilliance…sadly I tend towards the view of the film expressed by Peter Griffin in The Family Guy, albeit I wouldn’t go quite so far as he did. (In one of its signature cutaway gags, Peter has been banned from the video stores for taping over their movies. In the case of Citizen Kane, he tapes over it to say “It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you two long, boobless hours”).

 

It could be worse. It could be Peter Griffin’s opinion of The Godfather – he didn’t care for it, as “it insists upon itself”.

 

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Films, compiled in one post (and page) from their previous individual entries. 

 

 

Theatrical release poster art

 

(10) DAVID LEITCH –

THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

My wildcard tenth place entry for best non-genre film for 2024 goes to The Fall Guy, the most fun I’ve had in a cinema this year so far. And what’s not to love about a movie filmed and set in Australia? (Sydney in case you were wondering).

 

Just like Bullet Train did before it in 2022 as another film directed by David Leitch – and I wouldn’t be surprised if Leitch manages to keep doing it. Bullet Train was probably quirkier fun that The Fall Guy but the latter has a broader and more easy-going charm.

 

Leitch just makes fun popcorn-munching films with standout action set pieces, not surprisingly from his background as a stunt performer – including as stunt double for Brad Pitt (who starred as the protagonist in Bullet Train).

 

His (uncredited) directorial debut was a little film in 2014 called John Wick. He followed that up with Atomic Blonde and its gritty action scenes revolving around Charlize Theron as protagonist – which with Bullet Train and The Fall Guy would comprise my holy trinity of Leitch films to date.

 

Yes – I love John Wick but it’s not pure Leitch as he was co-director with the credited director Chad Stehelski. He also directed Deadpool 2 and Hobbs & Shaw but they’re not quite in the same league as the trinity.

 

As for The Fall Guy, what more do you need to know than it broke a Guiness World Record for the most cannon rolls in a car?

 

Okay, okay – perhaps a little more but it’s clearly Leitch directing “a love letter to stunts” in tribute to his former career, using practical stunts in highly choreographed action sequences and a nice nod to just what goes into bringing an action sequence to the screen. For the record – and I’m sure it’s part of the film’s joke – the film within the film looks as if it would be terrible and cheesily over the top.

 

Beyond that it’s an action-comedy film like its predecessor Bullet Train, but in its case loosely based on the 1980s TV series about stunt performers (so keep an eye out for those cameos from the series). Ryan Gosling is his usual charismatic self as the stuntman protagonist “working on his ex-girlfriend’s (Emily Blunt) directorial debut action film, only to find caught up in a conspiracy involving the film’s lead actor” – played by Bullet Train alumni (and future James Bond) Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

 

And it’s hoot, even if (or perhaps especially as) the plot veers into the usual absurdity of action films.

 

 

FANTASY & SF

 

I suppose you could count the film within the film – an SF film of alien war or invasion. However – few fantasy or SF elements in the film itself unless you count drug hallucinations or the suspension of disbelief from just how absurd the plot gets.

 

COMEDY

 

Definitely comedic elements – so much so that you could probably rank it as a comedy, but I feel the action looms larger, particularly in those exquisitely choreographed and crafted stunts.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Theatrical release poster

 

(9) ROBERT EGGERS –

THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

“I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I will kill you, Fjolnir”.

 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

 

A retelling of the legend of Amleth – the source for Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

 

If there’s one thing director Robert Eggers is known for, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

 

He did it with The Witch and he did it here – with Anya Taylor-Joy as a common denominator between them and I have a thing for those fey eyes of hers. He does it better in The Northman – for one thing he has more mythic elements to play with from Norse mythology (and European magic) and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing of The Witch, arguably a side effect of his world-immersion but one keeps much tighter here.

 

His work is pretty impressive as he only has three films under his belt – with a fourth film upcoming in 2024, his passion projecy Nosferatu. (I skipped The Lighthouse, his second film between The Witch and The Northman).

 

I can’t mention Anya Taylor-Joy without mentioning Alexander Skarsgard as the titular Northman, an actor born to play a berserker if ever there was one – and that continuous tracking shot of him through an attack on a village is a thing to behold. (Heh – berserking is in the eye of the beholder).

 

And if we’re to mention standout scenes – there’s my personal standout scene(s) of the Valkyrie and her otherworldly ferocity, even if people mistook her filed teeth for braces.

 

I can’t resist wrapping up with this quote by reviewer David Ehrlich for Indiewire, calling the film “primal, sinewy, gnarly-as-f*ck” and “grab-you-by-the-throat intense”.

 

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The mythic elements – reflecting the worldview of its characters – loom so large the film borders on fantasy, including that final volcanic surreal showdown.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

From the films’ theatrical release poster

 

 

(8) GARETH EVANS –

THE RAID (2011)

100 minutes of awesomeness in a frenetic, claustrophobic martial arts action masterpiece – the martial arts being the Indonesian pencak silat that is showcased by the film’s fight choreography and the claustrophobic being the film’s premise.

That premise being an Indonesian police squad deployed to raid a drug lord’s apartment block in the sums of Jakarta – actually a fortress-like safe house for the city’s worst criminals – only to find themselves forced to fight their way through the complex to carry out their mission or just to survive long enough to escape.

“Good morning, everyone. You may have noticed we have some guests trawling the halls today. Now, I certainly did not invite them and they most certainly are not welcome. So, in the interests of public health, should you rid this building of its recent infestation, well, then, you can consider yourself a permanent resident of this building. Free of charge. You’ll find these f*cking cockroaches on the sixth floor. Now, go to work. And please, please enjoy yourself.”

And yes – it was the same premise that was (independently) used to similarly great effect in the 2012 Dredd film.

And ever since, I’ve enjoyed whenever The Raid pops up in one form or another – most obviously in its 2014 sequel, which maintained the frenetic action of the first. You know you’re in for glorious action when the climax of the film is preceded by a character telling its action hero that the only way to solve his problems is to kill all of the parties responsible. My personal highlight of the sequel was the assassin duo dubbed Hammer Girl and Baseball Bat Man.

I also get excited whenever I see what I call the Raid guys – primarily Iko Suwais and ‘Mad Dog’ Yahan Ruhian – in a film. Even when they were disappointingly wasted in The Force Awakens. Fortunately, John Wick Chapter 3 made up for that.

I’m also counting it as The Raid popping up for any film by the same director Gareth Evans – which admittedly has only been one film after the two Raid films so far, albeit the decent folk horror flick Apostle.

 

FANTASY & SF

No, except to the extent that the intense fighting skill and survival of characters borders on supernatural.

 

COMEDY

Again, not really any comedic elements, except occasionally of the blacker kind

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

One of the best movie poster images (for John Wick 2)

 

(7) JOHN WICK (2014 – PRESENT)

 

 “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back”

 

You sure are, John Wick, you sure are. You too, Keanu.

 

The best action franchise of the twenty-first century. There – I said it. Also one of the best roaring rampages of revenge and one-man armies on screen. Also some of the best poster designs.

 

I also dig the whole assassin mystique and mythos it’s got going, with its intricate rituals and rules, implausible as it all is – the implausibility just makes it more mythic! The Continental, the High Table, and so on. Although I suspect real hitmen are a lot less glamorous and a lot more seedy.

 

“Neo-noir action thriller franchise…set in a shadowy world of assassins and criminals”. I can’t resist quoting TV Tropes that “the films can be best described as what happens when Neo is reimagined in the real world as the deadliest assassin alive”.

 

It has been hailed as reviving the flagging action genre, not least due to its “choreographed sequences and practical effects that were filmed in long takes” – none of that quick cut shaky-cam crap. Also lots of gunplay and headshots – not that John needs a gun to kill anyone. A book, a pencil, a horse – anything will do.

 

This entry represents the franchise as whole – four films deep and spinoffs as at 2024 – but if I have to choose one, it would have to be the 2014 original film for the franchise at its freshest, albeit Chapter Four comes close in the sequels.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

That assassin mystique and mythos borders on fantasy, while John Wick’s skill and survivability borders on supernatural ability (as do the action sequences in general).

 

COMEDY

 

Surprisingly for a film set in the underworld of assassins, it hits some black and dry comedic beats.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The iconic James Bond gun barrel opening sequence

 

(6) JAMES BOND (1962 – PRESENT)

 

“Bond, James Bond”

A spy action film franchise that needs little more than its iconic protagonist’s own signature introduction.

Well, perhaps a little more introduction – James Bond codenamed 007 as British special agent of the 00 section of MI-6 (the 00 signifying licence to kill), created by Ian Fleming as protagonist of the books (and stories) that were the origin of the franchise.

There’s enough in the franchise not only for a top ten Bond films and special mentions (or alternatively a top ten worst Bond films) – twenty-seven films and counting as at 2024 – but also easily for a top ten elements or motifs of Bond mythos.

The Bond girls. The Bond villains – and their infamous flaws of monologuing (to Bond) or just not shooting Bond as opposed to convoluted death traps or schemes. (To borrow a quote from Family Guy – “Sure, you could kill me with your gun but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?”)

The Bond gadgets. The Bond cars. The Bond one-liners. The Bond action prologue – introduced with the Bond gun barrel sequence and concluding with the Bond title sequence (and song). The exotic Bond globetrotting. Shaken not stirred – Bond’s drinking habits and games of chance or skill. (I seem to recall that Fleming was also fond of sumptuous descriptions of Bond’s dining or food although that hasn’t been adapted as much into film).

The Bond secondary cast from MI-6 – M, Q and Moneypenny. Recurring Bond characters (or actors) in general. Bond’s allies – perhaps foremost among them his CIA contact Felix Leiter. For that matter, typically a climactic Bond action sequence with special forces allied to Bond assaulting the villain’s forces or lair – even IN SPACE!

Heck – you could just squeeze out enough James Bonds for a top ten James Bonds, with six actors having official portrayed the character and a seventh signed up. Yes – I know that leaves three short but in addition to counting Sean Connery at least twice (at least once more in addition to his original run for the unofficial Never Say Never and arguably also for Diamonds are Forever as yet another separate incarnation in the role), there’s also Barry Nelson and David Niven in different adaptations of Casino Royale.

At very least you could compile a top ten of his incredibly versatile proficiencies or skills, and for that matter his character traits or types. As per TV Tropes – “the Ace, the Charmer, the Deadpan Snarker, the Renaissance Man, the Man of Wealth and Taste, the One-Man Army, the Professional Killer, the Sociopathic Hero, the Alcoholic, the Orphan, and the man who can always find women but can never find love. Which of these traits are pushed to the forefront will depend on the tone of the movie in question.”

And that’s not to mention all the inspirations for and adaptations, imitations or parodies of the character, enough for their own top ten (and more) – in turn reflecting Bond himself “having become one of the most iconic and quintessential action heroes in fiction”, founding the “tuxedo and martini subgenre” while defining “most of modern spy fiction and much of the action genre”.

Dare I describe the Bond film franchise as the Roman Empire of film franchises, with its various rises and resurgences or declines and falls?

Playing with that, the first Sean Connery films would be the classical empire of the first and second centuries – at its archetypal height but not without its excesses.

George Lazenby (and Diamonds are Forever) might be likened to Rome in crisis after its classical zenith, although this is unfair not only to Lazenby’s performance but even more so his film On His Majesty’s Secret Service – which is a fine Bond film, with some of the finest elements of any Bond film. (Its Bond girl for one thing and its banging theme tune for another).

The early Roger Moore films would be the resurgent later empire after the crisis of the third century, before devolving into the campy later Roger Moore films in the decline and fall of that half of the franchise. Timothy Dalton and the early Pierce Brosnan films might be likened to the eastern empire, a little rough around the edges to start after the fall of the Moore franchise before their own resurgence – but collapsing with the later Brosnan films on a camp scale almost to the point of the later Moore films.

The Daniel Craig films would be the eastern empire bouncing back to its medieval heights, with a blunter and tougher protagonist (Bond the Bulgar Slayer, anyone?) before crumbling in turn.

Which brings me to the question of which Bond film to choose, if I have to choose one film above all others in this entry – it was a close call with Casino Royale, but I’d have to go with Goldfinger as the archetypal or definitive Bond film. Even if, much like Indiana Jones in the Raiders of the Lost Ark film, Bond doesn’t actually do anything in it to achieve the final result.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

No fantasy in Bond – other than the obvious lifestyle or wish fulfilment fantasy of its protagonist for Fleming and countless male fans since.

However, it does verge into SF territory in its technothriller edges – perhaps most notably in the Bond space adventures of You Only Live Twice and Moonraker

 

COMEDY

 

Do I need to mention those Bond one-liners again? Although the James Bond film franchise has always walked the line between its more serious dramatic elements and tendencies to camp humor bordering on self-parody – falling over that line in the later Moore and later Brosnan films.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Bruce Lee in his iconic pose from Enter the Dragon

 

(5) BRUCE LEE –

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

 

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The iconic martial arts action film by the iconic martial arts action film star.

And yes – the film may be somewhat cheesy at points, albeit not more so than other films in the 70s and which may also owe something to how much this film has blurred together with its superb parody A Fistful of Yen in the 1977 comedy sketch film Kentucky Fried Movie deep within my psyche. (The other thing deeply embedded in my psyche from that film is the sketch Catholic High School Girls in Trouble – “never has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited”).

But it is glorious, showcasing Bruce Lee – “the quintessential martial arts film star, particularly for action films set in contemporary times, a breakthrough star for Asian actors in Hollywood and widely considered one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century”.

So deeply has it embedded itself in my psyche that it has fostered a love of martial arts action films ever since – which I then consciously or subconsciously compare to Enter the Dragon. And for that matter a love of martial arts film stars ever since, particularly east Asian martial arts film stars. Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of martial arts action films (and film stars) in general.

As per TV Tropes, it is the martial arts action trope codifier – “since this movie, almost every other work of martial arts tournament fiction has borrowed from Enter The Dragon, particularly its usage of the main hero seeking revenge against the Big Bad in a fighting tournament in a faraway exotic location full of colorful villains and other supporting heroes with their own personal motives for entering”.

Of course, the whole concept of the martial arts tournament doesn’t hold up too well as a vanity project by a criminal organization – given the potential for exposing and jeopardizing the organization, at least to the very infiltration that is the plot of the film.

Nor for that matter does a criminal organization relying on training masses of minions in martial arts – another visually iconic element of martial arts films, moving and shouting in unison – instead of, you know, guns.

Finally, I have to give a chef’s kiss to yet another iconic element of martial arts films codified – the climactic showdown between protagonist and antagonist, strikingly displayed here in a mirrored maze.

 

FANTASY & SF

Not really here, but there’s always been a fine line between martial arts action films and fantasy in the mystical skill (or visions) of combatants – something which things like wuxia films and animated or anime series cross over. Not to mention the space Shaolin monks of Star Wars…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements, albeit not as prominent as other martial arts action films – notably those of Jackie Chan (who had a minor role in Enter the Dragon). It certainly has its comedic elements after you’ve seen A Fistful of Yen – such that you’ll never watch it in quite the same straight-faced fashion again – and it has been repeatedly parodied elsewhere.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY (1961-1966 & 1971-1988)

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Uma Thurman as the Bride in her most iconic appearance in Kill Bill – that yellow tracksuit (as well as motorcycle and helmet) a homage to that worn by Bruce Lee in his 1972 film Game of Death

 

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO –

KILL BILL (2003-2004)

 

“When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination… I am gonna KILL BILL”.

Quentin Tarantino – “his films are characterized by elements including recurring actors, non-linear storylines, stylized violence, black comedy, witty dialogue oft laced with pop culture references, trunk shots, close-ups on feet, especially women’s bare feet (don’t ask), and a volume of homages and shout-outs to other movies only attainable with an absurdly encyclopedic knowledge of film history”.

In fairness to the foot fetish thing, who wouldn’t cast themselves to drink off Salma Hayek’s feet?

Also a director whom I have to love for his dedication to a top ten in his own films, having famously declared his intention to retire after ten films, although we’re still awaiting that tenth film as of 2024.

As for which Tarantino film to choose for this entry, it was a close call – particularly with the film that brought him widespread acclaim, Pulp Fiction – but as my featured quote indicates, I have to go with Kill Bill.

Kill Bill is the fourth (and fifth) film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, taking all his favorite things at that point in his career – westerns, samurai movies, martial arts, pop-culture references, actions girls, and bare feet – and combining them into one hell of a revenge drama”.

Or as the female protagonist best known simply as the Bride (or Black Mamba as a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) – although her name Beatrix Kiddo is dropped in the second film – played by Uma Thurman puts it in my featured quote, a roaring rampage of revenge. Indeed, one of the finest roaring rampages of revenge – and certainly top of my top ten roaring rampages of revenge.

Also it has one of my all-time favorite lines of cinema (note to self – compile a top ten lines of cinema) from legendary sword-maker Hattori Hanzo, played by Sonny Chiba, referring to the blade he made for the Bride – “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut”.

(And how! From what we see her do with it, I’d say he was right about that).

It consists of two films although I tend to follow Tarantino in his own classification of it as one film, given that it was conceived by him as such although the studio split it in two for length. Although if I had to choose between them, I’d have to go with the first film or Volume 1 for the sheer glorious frenzied action of the Bride’s fight with O-Ren Ishii and the Crazy 88 Gang. (Although you’d think that at some point, maybe just one of those Yakuza gangsters would, you know, pull a gun on the Bride).

And of course Gogo Yubari, etched deep in my psyche ever since with her portrayal by Japanese actress Chiaki Kuriyama – who also starred in cult classic Battle Royale, one of Tarantino’s favorite films.

 

FANTASY & SF

Interestingly, Tarantino has said that his films fall into one of two cinematic universes – “one being the more realistically grounded of them…and the other being a meta-fictional narrative which Tarantino says represents the kind of films the characters in his main cinematic universe would watch”, arguably with more fantastic or at least cinematic rule of cool elements. Kill Bill falls in the latter.

 

COMEDY

That signature Tarantino black comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

“Yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”

 

(2) COEN BROS –

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

The Dude abides.

Indeed, he abides in second place.  The Coen brothers – Joel and Ethan Coen – also abide as my favorite directors of film (albeit obviously not of my favorite film in top spot).

And yes – they have enough of a filmography for their own top ten films, but one that is impossible to categorize by genre or style apart from a blackly comedic and idiosyncratic quirky flair. “Their films span many genres and styles, which they frequently subvert or parody”.

While I enjoy all their films I’ve seen – even the weirder ones like Barton Fink and weaker ones like The Ladykillers – the holy trinity of their filmography for me would be The Big Lebowksi, O Brother Where Art Thou, and Intolerable Cruelty (although Fargo – film and television series – comes close).

And of these, the greatest is The Big Lebowksi – which despite a mixed reception and box office return at the time of its release – rose to cult classic status.

As TV Tropes describes, “it’s a bit hard to describe but let’s just call it a film noir parody”, albeit an affectionate one – particularly of Raymond Chandleresque noir detective stories set in L.A., with the title itself a nod to The Big Sleep.

Except of course for its Philip Marlowe protagonist, it’s slacker Jeff Lebowski – although he prefers to go by the Dude – played to perfection by Jeff Bridges. He’s not the titular Big Lebowksi however – and it’s the mix-up in identity between them that effectively gets the ball rolling on the plot. Well – that and also the Dude’s rug really tied the room together.

Again as per TV Tropes, “this being a Coen Brothers movie, though, the plot isn’t important. The driving force within the movie is the collection of various, bizarre, main and secondary (and tertiary!) characters, almost all of whom seem to come from completely different movies.”

Not least the film’s cowboy narrator, styled as The Stranger, played by Sam Elliott – giving us my featured quote, although the Dude himself takes a shine to it.

Oh – and of course, the Jesus.

But yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

FANTASY & SF

The filmography of the Coen brothers definitely dips into the fantasy genre with some of their more fantastic elements, although not enough that any of their films would be described as fantasy – particularly as those fantastic elements are more in the nature of dreams or trips, as in The Big Lebowksi

 

COMEDY

The kings of black comedy, dryly delivered.

The Big Lebowksi in particular could be outright classified as comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

One of the most iconic scenes in the film – and in film

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning…smells like victory.”

Yeah – this is the big one, the cinematic equivalent of Catch-22, lodged next to it deep within my psyche ever since seeing it (by happenstance at about the same time as reading Catch-22).

And not coincidentally, like Catch-22 also set in a war, except of course in the Vietnam war as opposed to the former’s Second World War, and similarly using the war as a backdrop for a story beyond the war itself – a satire of modern society in Catch-22 and an exploration of the human psyche on the edges of madness and beyond in Apocalypse Now.

While it is usually (and accurately) considered a war film, it is a psychological war film which could well have been set elsewhere – and indeed originally was, given that it is a very loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness from nineteenth century Africa to the Vietnam War. One might well quip that it was also a loose adaptation of the Vietnam War itself (to the American or human psyche).

Hence some of those who watch it expecting a more straightforward war or action film might be disappointed, particularly with its pacing – although I was entranced by it throughout when I first watched it, even in my adolescent days. Don’t get me wrong – it absolutely does have action scenes, indeed some of the most visually striking and iconic action scenes, hence my entrancement, but not quite in the pace or style of a contemporary action film blockbuster.

As per TV Tropes – “packed to the gills with now-iconic scenes and quotes, it is a common choice for not only the definitive anti-war movie but the definitive cinematic depiction of war not as battle, or even as purgatory but as an illogical fever dream”.

Illogical fever dream is overstating it – it has a coherent plot – but things definitely get wilder and trippier the further the protagonist and his squad go.

As for that protagonist and squad – again as per TV Tropes, “”special operations Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent to kill Walter E Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a Green Beret colonel who has gone mad and formed a personality cult in Cambodia”…Willard and his crew including George “Chief” Phillips (Albert Hall), Jay “Chef” Hicks (Frederic Forrest), Lance Johnson (Sam Bottoms) and Tryone “Mr Clean” Miller (a 14-year-old Laurence Fishburne) — go up a river and into the recesses of humanity.”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola at the height of his career, it’s a miracle the film was even made, let alone be this good, given a trouble production that’s almost as legendarily epic as the film itself. On that point – and perhaps not surprisingly given that production history – the original cinematic edit is definitely the best. While the ‘redux’ director’s cut has points of interest, Coppola definitely got it right for its original cinematic release.

I’ll conclude with Roger Ebert’s thoughts when adding it to his list of great movies – ” “What’s great in the film, and what will make it live for many years and speak to many audiences, is what Coppola achieves on the levels Truffaut was discussing: the moments of agony and joy in making cinema. Some of those moments occur at the same time; remember again the helicopter assault and its unsettling juxtaposition of horror and exhilaration. Remember the weird beauty of the massed helicopters lifting above the trees in the long shot, and the insane power of Wagner’s music, played loudly during the attack, and you feel what Coppola was getting at: Those moments as common in life as art, when the whole huge grand mystery of the world, so terrible, so beautiful, seems to hang in the balance,,,Apocalypse Now is the best Vietnam film, one of the greatest of all films, because it pushes beyond the others, into the dark places of the soul. It is not about war so much as about how war reveals truths we would be happy never to discover.”

 

FANTASY & SF

It’s trippier moments border on some dark fantasy but no – it remains grounded in the mundane reality of our world. Or at least as mundane as the Vietnam War got.

Although it is tempting to conflate, as Kim Newman did in a short story, Coppola’s Apocalypse Now and Coppola’s Dracula film – with Harker as Willard and his crew of vampire hunters on a gunboat upriver into Transylvania…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements – some of the blackest and driest in film perhaps but they are there, at least according to my sense of humor. Definitely not a comedy though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

FILM: TOP 10 (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

(2) COEN BROS – THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO – KILL BILL (2003-2004)

Like Tarantino, I regard the two volumes as one film but if I have to choose – Vol1.

 

If Apocalypse Now is my Old Testament of film, The Big Lebowski and Kill Bill is my New Testament.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD – THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY (1961-1966 & 1971-1988)

His two iconic roles – if I have to choose between them, I’ll go with Dirty Harry (and the first film). After all, he’s the model for Judge Dredd.

(5) BRUCE LEE – ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

(6) JAMES BOND (1962-PRESENT)

As for which film – Goldfinger as the film that defines the franchise.

(7) JOHN WICK (2014-present)

Yes – all four films (and counting). As for which is the best among them, the fourth film comes close but the first film remains the definitive film for me.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(8) GARETH EVANS – THE RAID (2011-2014)

Obviously the first film is the best but I like both.

(9) ROBERT EGGERS – THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER) – AS BEST NON-GENRE FILM OF 2024

 

(10) THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (1) Francis Ford Coppola – Apocalypse Now

One of the most iconic scenes in the film – and in film

 

(1) FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA –

APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning…smells like victory.”

Yeah – this is the big one, the cinematic equivalent of Catch-22, lodged next to it deep within my psyche ever since seeing it (by happenstance at about the same time as reading Catch-22).

And not coincidentally, like Catch-22 also set in a war, except of course in the Vietnam war as opposed to the former’s Second World War, and similarly using the war as a backdrop for a story beyond the war itself – a satire of modern society in Catch-22 and an exploration of the human psyche on the edges of madness and beyond in Apocalypse Now.

While it is usually (and accurately) considered a war film, it is a psychological war film which could well have been set elsewhere – and indeed originally was, given that it is a very loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness from nineteenth century Africa to the Vietnam War. One might well quip that it was also a loose adaptation of the Vietnam War itself (to the American or human psyche).

Hence some of those who watch it expecting a more straightforward war or action film might be disappointed, particularly with its pacing – although I was entranced by it throughout when I first watched it, even in my adolescent days. Don’t get me wrong – it absolutely does have action scenes, indeed some of the most visually striking and iconic action scenes, hence my entrancement, but not quite in the pace or style of a contemporary action film blockbuster.

As per TV Tropes – “packed to the gills with now-iconic scenes and quotes, it is a common choice for not only the definitive anti-war movie but the definitive cinematic depiction of war not as battle, or even as purgatory but as an illogical fever dream”.

Illogical fever dream is overstating it – it has a coherent plot – but things definitely get wilder and trippier the further the protagonist and his squad go.

As for that protagonist and squad – again as per TV Tropes, “”special operations Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent to kill Walter E Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a Green Beret colonel who has gone mad and formed a personality cult in Cambodia”…Willard and his crew including George “Chief” Phillips (Albert Hall), Jay “Chef” Hicks (Frederic Forrest), Lance Johnson (Sam Bottoms) and Tryone “Mr Clean” Miller (a 14-year-old Laurence Fishburne) — go up a river and into the recesses of humanity.”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola at the height of his career, it’s a miracle the film was even made, let alone be this good, given a trouble production that’s almost as legendarily epic as the film itself. On that point – and perhaps not surprisingly given that production history – the original cinematic edit is definitely the best. While the ‘redux’ director’s cut has points of interest, Coppola definitely got it right for its original cinematic release.

I’ll conclude with Roger Ebert’s thoughts when adding it to his list of great movies – ” “What’s great in the film, and what will make it live for many years and speak to many audiences, is what Coppola achieves on the levels Truffaut was discussing: the moments of agony and joy in making cinema. Some of those moments occur at the same time; remember again the helicopter assault and its unsettling juxtaposition of horror and exhilaration. Remember the weird beauty of the massed helicopters lifting above the trees in the long shot, and the insane power of Wagner’s music, played loudly during the attack, and you feel what Coppola was getting at: Those moments as common in life as art, when the whole huge grand mystery of the world, so terrible, so beautiful, seems to hang in the balance,,,Apocalypse Now is the best Vietnam film, one of the greatest of all films, because it pushes beyond the others, into the dark places of the soul. It is not about war so much as about how war reveals truths we would be happy never to discover.”

 

FANTASY & SF

It’s trippier moments border on some dark fantasy but no – it remains grounded in the mundane reality of our world. Or at least as mundane as the Vietnam War got.

Although it is tempting to conflate, as Kim Newman did in a short story, Coppola’s Apocalypse Now and Coppola’s Dracula film – with Harker as Willard and his crew of vampire hunters on a gunboat upriver into Transylvania…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements – some of the blackest and driest in film perhaps but they are there, at least according to my sense of humor. Definitely not a comedy though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (2) Coen Brothers – The Big Lebowski

“Yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”

 

(2) COEN BROS –

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

The Dude abides.

Indeed, he abides in second place.  The Coen brothers – Joel and Ethan Coen – also abide as my favorite directors of film (albeit obviously not of my favorite film in top spot).

And yes – they have enough of a filmography for their own top ten films, but one that is impossible to categorize by genre or style apart from a blackly comedic and idiosyncratic quirky flair. “Their films span many genres and styles, which they frequently subvert or parody”.

While I enjoy all their films I’ve seen – even the weirder ones like Barton Fink and weaker ones like The Ladykillers – the holy trinity of their filmography for me would be The Big Lebowksi, O Brother Where Art Thou, and Intolerable Cruelty (although Fargo – film and television series – comes close).

And of these, the greatest is The Big Lebowksi – which despite a mixed reception and box office return at the time of its release – rose to cult classic status.

As TV Tropes describes, “it’s a bit hard to describe but let’s just call it a film noir parody”, albeit an affectionate one – particularly of Raymond Chandleresque noir detective stories set in L.A., with the title itself a nod to The Big Sleep.

Except of course for its Philip Marlowe protagonist, it’s slacker Jeff Lebowski – although he prefers to go by the Dude – played to perfection by Jeff Bridges. He’s not the titular Big Lebowksi however – and it’s the mix-up in identity between them that effectively gets the ball rolling on the plot. Well – that and also the Dude’s rug really tied the room together.

Again as per TV Tropes, “this being a Coen Brothers movie, though, the plot isn’t important. The driving force within the movie is the collection of various, bizarre, main and secondary (and tertiary!) characters, almost all of whom seem to come from completely different movies.”

Not least the film’s cowboy narrator, styled as The Stranger, played by Sam Elliott – giving us my featured quote, although the Dude himself takes a shine to it.

Oh – and of course, the Jesus.

But yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

FANTASY & SF

The filmography of the Coen brothers definitely dips into the fantasy genre with some of their more fantastic elements, although not enough that any of their films would be described as fantasy – particularly as those fantastic elements are more in the nature of dreams or trips, as in The Big Lebowksi

 

COMEDY

The kings of black comedy, dryly delivered.

The Big Lebowksi in particular could be outright classified as comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (3) Quentin Tarantino – Kill Bill

Uma Thurman as the Bride in her most iconic appearance in Kill Bill – that yellow tracksuit (as well as motorcycle and helmet) a homage to that worn by Bruce Lee in his 1972 film Game of Death

 

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO –

KILL BILL (2003-2004)

 

“When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination… I am gonna KILL BILL”.

Quentin Tarantino – “his films are characterized by elements including recurring actors, non-linear storylines, stylized violence, black comedy, witty dialogue oft laced with pop culture references, trunk shots, close-ups on feet, especially women’s bare feet (don’t ask), and a volume of homages and shout-outs to other movies only attainable with an absurdly encyclopedic knowledge of film history”.

In fairness to the foot fetish thing, who wouldn’t cast themselves to drink off Salma Hayek’s feet?

Also a director whom I have to love for his dedication to a top ten in his own films, having famously declared his intention to retire after ten films, although we’re still awaiting that tenth film as of 2024.

As for which Tarantino film to choose for this entry, it was a close call – particularly with the film that brought him widespread acclaim, Pulp Fiction – but as my featured quote indicates, I have to go with Kill Bill.

Kill Bill is the fourth (and fifth) film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, taking all his favorite things at that point in his career – westerns, samurai movies, martial arts, pop-culture references, actions girls, and bare feet – and combining them into one hell of a revenge drama”.

Or as the female protagonist best known simply as the Bride (or Black Mamba as a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) – although her name Beatrix Kiddo is dropped in the second film – played by Uma Thurman puts it in my featured quote, a roaring rampage of revenge. Indeed, one of the finest roaring rampages of revenge – and certainly top of my top ten roaring rampages of revenge.

Also it has one of my all-time favorite lines of cinema (note to self – compile a top ten lines of cinema) from legendary sword-maker Hattori Hanzo, played by Sonny Chiba, referring to the blade he made for the Bride – “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut”.

(And how! From what we see her do with it, I’d say he was right about that).

It consists of two films although I tend to follow Tarantino in his own classification of it as one film, given that it was conceived by him as such although the studio split it in two for length. Although if I had to choose between them, I’d have to go with the first film or Volume 1 for the sheer glorious frenzied action of the Bride’s fight with O-Ren Ishii and the Crazy 88 Gang. (Although you’d think that at some point, maybe just one of those Yakuza gangsters would, you know, pull a gun on the Bride).

And of course Gogo Yubari, etched deep in my psyche ever since with her portrayal by Japanese actress Chiaki Kuriyama – who also starred in cult classic Battle Royale, one of Tarantino’s favorite films.

 

FANTASY & SF

Interestingly, Tarantino has said that his films fall into one of two cinematic universes – “one being the more realistically grounded of them…and the other being a meta-fictional narrative which Tarantino says represents the kind of films the characters in his main cinematic universe would watch”, arguably with more fantastic or at least cinematic rule of cool elements. Kill Bill falls in the latter.

 

COMEDY

That signature Tarantino black comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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Mega-City Law: Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics & Episodes: Episodes

 

 

Counting down my Top 10 Judge Dredd epics and episodes – essentially as a running list updated as I finish each volume of the collected Judge Dredd Complete Case Files in my ongoing Mega-City Law reviews (presently up to Case Files 16).

I distinguish between epics and episodes – with epics as longer storylines over a five or more episodes. However, that still leaves a distinction for me with respect to episodes – episodes that encapsulate their storylines within the single episode (probably most of the comic) as opposed to those that have a longer story arc over 2-4 episodes (with four episodes being perhaps the most common standard for such mini-epics).

There is a real art in encapsulating a story within a single episode – and a mere six pages or so at that – akin to writing a short story, typically with a twist in the tale, as opposed to a novel. Some of the stories in the Judge Dredd comic which had the most impact on me or which defined the comic for me are stories of a single episode. These are my top ten episodes of Judge Dredd, standing on their own as single episodes.

 

 

(10) A, B OR C WARRIOR
(CASE FILES 18: prog 824)

 

“Well, citizen Colon. Can you guess what happens now? Is it a) we let you go? b) you get off with a five cred fine? or c) we lock you in the psycho cubes and throw away the key?”

A, B, C Warrior is easily my favorite single episode in Case Files 18 – involving yet another citizen gone mad in Mega-City One, or ‘futsie’ as Mega-City slang goes for people suffering from ‘future shock’, who have snapped from the pressure of just living in “a society where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming” (as per Chris Sims).

In this episode, the futsie is a citizen with an unfortunate surname, Mori Colon – and the even more unfortunate madness from losing his job as a pollster. Although given the nearly universal automation of jobs in Mega-City One, I’m not sure how he ever had it in the first place since it would seem a job where a robot would be first in line.

Anyway, he’s adapted his former occupation as pollster to his new preoccupation as serial killer. As one Judge observes – “It’s incredible, Dredd. He’s killed over fifty people – all so he can ask them these insane questions!”.

That is of course after Colon is apprehended by Dredd. We’re introduced to him at the opening of the episode “polling” a resident of Frank Hovis block, as usual named for a character in a British television comedy series contemporary to the date of publication rather than someone you’d expect it to be named for in a twenty-second century American megalopolis. And by “polling”, I mean asking some of those inane questions – as multiple choice between options a, b, and c, hence the title – before shooting his victim. As in what will the victim do when Colon brandishes a gun – a) try to jump me b) beg for mercy or c) run for it. (The answer in this case was b).

The sound of gunfire is reported by neighbors – which is how Dredd is called to the scene. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much to go on for clues at the scene, particularly given the insane polling that is Colon’s modus operandi, but fortunately Colon decides further “research” is needed at a local club (where Colon laments that he should have thought of “polling” a crowd further). Research such as whether on learning of their impending deaths they will a) pray to Grud…b) pray to Satan…c) start to cry. (In fairness, Colon is researching whether religious belief is declining in Mega-City One because of the reactions of previous victims).

So as nearest Judge, Dredd is called to the club when Colon’s latest disturbance is reported and catches Colon in mid-massacre. Colon even polls Dredd which ammunition he will use. (Dredd choses an option that wasn’t on the poll, shooting through a table – and Colon’s arm – with an armor-piercing round). Although I do have to give Colon mad props for his justification to Dredd – “but I’m conducting an opinion poll!”

And that leads to us to the line I quote at the outset Dredd’s deadpan snark with his facetious “poll” to Colon after he recovers from med-bay treatment. And like the readers, Colon easily guesses the answer – “at a wild guess…c?”. Which if you recall was throwing him in the psycho-cube without a key – “You got it. Take him away.”

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

 

 

(9) FIRST OF THE MANY
(CASE FILES 16: prog 775)

An episode which revisits Dredd’s very first arrest or more precisely, in which it revisits him – “I’m Bert Dubinksi. I’m the first guy you ever arrested.”

This episode is worth revisiting in some detail, flashing back as it does to such a monumental moment in Dredd’s history – his first arrest, as a rookie under Judge Morphy – but also featuring the art of one of my favorite Dredd artists, Cliff Robinson (as did my other favorite episode from Case Files 16, Watch Dogs).

You have to love that introduction as Dredd signs off after having “been on the streets a hundred hours straight” – bonus points for the Rowdy Yates Block sign in the background, Dredd’s destination as his rostered block of ‘residence’ as block Judge (and as I’ve noted, a sly reference to his source of influence in Dirty Harry as the name of Clint Eastwood’s character in the TV Western series Rawhide).

Just as Dredd pulls up in what appears to be the parking bay for his Lawmaster (and is awaiting the security door as it opens), that’s when Dubinski approaches him with that declaration. Dubinski seems friendly enough but it bodes trouble that he just happens to be there when Dredd is coming off shift and in that suspiciously long coat as well.

The episode flashes back to the arrest, with Dredd as a hotshot rookie in his first street assessment by Judge Morphy. Father figure and mentor to Dredd. Oh – and it’s good to see you again, Morph, in your prime to boot (those tight boots – yes, it’s a plot point in Judge Dredd). He was killed in the line of duty in the countdown to Necropolis just a couple of Case File volumes back – an important factor in Dredd’s breakdown and decision to take the Long Walk. (Dredd got better…and came back).

Anyway, here he is with Rookie Dredd at the dawn of Dredd as the Judge we know and love. Prompted by the same gunman approaching him thirty-five years later, Dredd recalls his very first arrest, as a rookie Judge eighteen years of age. Which would of course make Dredd fifty-three years of age – as at the time of this episode in 1992 (or 2114 for Dredd in Mega-City One). Since each year passes at the same rate in the comic as in the real life – that would make him eighty-four years of age in 2023 (or 2145 for Dredd in Mega-City One). Lucky he has those rejuvenation treatments mandated by Justice Department.

Rookie Dredd coolly assesses the situation of a gunman having killed two people in a shop – “Don’t want to start a firefight in a crowded street if we can help it. I’ll try and take him quietly”.

And that’s exactly what he does. Of course, it helps that the gunman appears to be a ball of nerves, backing away from the scene of his offences, so all Dredd has to do is quietly come up behind him and hold a Lawgiver to his head. “Pays to look where you’re going, meathead! Drop it!”

And Dredd does the same thing here as Dubinski tries to gun him down, having foolishly turned away from Dredd before doing so – “Getting’ a sense of déjà vu, Dubinski?”

Dredd is quite the deadpan snarker arresting the first person he ever arrested…again.

In hindsight, perhaps they should have sentenced Dubinski to a psych cube thirty-five years ago – his motive in his original offence appears to be the two people in the shop weren’t “friendly” and that appears to be a motive here, as he becomes enraged at Dredd before pulling out the gun from his coat.

This time, however, Dubinski is not prepared to surrender quietly – not surprisingly as he doesn’t want another stretch in the cubes and he opts for suicide by cop. So Dredd calls in a meat-wagon for Dubinski, much to the bemusement of Control – “Wilco. Uh…would that be Dubinksi who was released from Iso-Block 10 this morning? One of your old perps?”

And Dredd has his own moment of hindsight, with his characteristic deadpan snark – “Yeah. Might have been better if I put a bullet in him first time round. Would have saved us both a lot of trouble.”

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(8) WATCHDOGS
(CASE FILES 16: prog 739)

“Attaboy Dreddy! Give ‘im the old judicial excess!”

The Citizens Watchdog Committee may regard Dredd’s use of force as shocking, disgusting, and disgraceful – but their audience loves it.

The Committee and their audience are watching Dredd as he performs his duties – we are introduced to them as Dredd apprehends muggers. And so is Dredd, asking Justice Department Control whether they have spy in the sky surveillance on him – “Somebody has. I count at least two of them. Check into it”.

No rest for the wicked – or those who judge them, as Control directs Dredd to the next incident, a brawl at the Dire Straits bar. Meanwhile, we see more of the Committee – three people watching Dredd on screen while sitting behind a desk with the banner Citizens Watchdog Committee, with another man sanctimoniously narrating Dredd’s use of force, all four of them in terms of utmost opprobium.

The narrator is heckled by the Committee’s wider audience of citizens, who are wildly enthusiatic for Dredd’s onscreen actions in a manner consistent with a crowd at a gladiatorial arena. Are they not entertained? Yes. Yes, they very much are – and loving it. The Citizens Watchdog Committee only have themselves to blame – we see the two large signs outside their venue, emblazoned in the style of a boxing match or wrestling show:

No wonder they got fans of “judicial excess”, cheering on Dredd’s every bone-crunching tooth-breaking act by their affectionate nickname for him – “Nice one, Dreddy!”. Although I’m not sure I’d want to be too casual with calling him that in person, albeit Dredd seems to brush it off in this episode.

Control did “check into it”, tracing the serial numbers from the spy in the sky camera drones – using their own counter spy in the sky – to the Citizens Watchdog Committee, who are conveniently just across the road from the Dire Straits bar where Dredd is mopping up the brawlers.

So of course Dredd attends the Committee in person, asking them “You jokers got a licence to operate this vid show?”

Meanwhile, the audience loves it – “Go get ’em, Dreddy!”, “Break some face!” and “You shoulda heard the things they were sayin’ about you!”

The Committee spokeperson – the one narrating the drone camera footage with such outrage and indignation – protests that they don’t need a licence as they’re “exercising our right to scrutinise the actions of our Judges”. Dredd smoothly counters – “But you do if you’re using the image of a Judge for the purposes of entertainment”. All the spokesperson can do is stammer “But it’s not entertainment!”

And the audience goes wild – “Oh-yes-it-is!”

Case closed – and Dredd arrests all four of the Committee. As he does, one of the audience asks “Hey Dreddy, any chance of you getting’ a regular slot prime time?”

If only, Mega-City One citzen, if only. Where’s the Judge Dredd TV show, Hollywood?

For that matter, where’s the sequel to the 2012 film?!

That wraps up the Watchdogs episode – and the Citizens Watchdog Committee. Iso-cubes all round, I bet.

Although if we were to think about it, perhaps we should identify with the Citizens Watchdog Committee rather than their audience or even Dredd himself. After all, they do have a point with that whole judicial excess thing. Indeed, it goes to the heart of the comic itself, although as we’ve seen, the authoritarian violence of the Judges in general and Dredd in particular is a lot more nuanced than that. Arguably, that nuance defines the comic, which essentially walks the line as to whether that authoritarian violence may be a necessary evil amidst the dystopian satire of it.

Aptly enough, it walks a similar line to that of the character that inspired Dredd, Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry – that as much we might admire the character’s personal code of honour in service of the law akin to an instinct for justice, perhaps we might not want our police (or judges) to actually be like Dirty Harry, let alone like the over the top authoritarian violence of Dredd and the Justice Department he serves.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(7) THE LURKER
(CASE FILES 9: prog 440)

 

Another of my favorite single Judge Dredd episodes, with a blackly comic twist to the tale worthy of Roald Dahl.

 

The episode involves the titular lurker, essentially a nocturnal criminal scavenger equivalent to one of those bottom-feeding fish but in Mega-City One’s underworld, picking up the scraps left behind by more powerful predators such as muggers.

 

Tonight, however, is his big score – or so he thinks, as he picks over a mugging victim after the muggers made off with a briefcase and the victim manages to blurt out “my case…tell Judges – ten million”. Naturally, the lurker thinks the case contained ten million creds, the currency of Mega-City One. So the lurker follows after the muggers, hanging back as they attempt to open the case – and gets his break when they flee Judge Dredd, leaving the case behind. Equipped with a las-knife, he makes more progress on the case, which is too heavy for him to move.

 

Meanwhile, Dredd apprehends the muggers (well, one of them as he shoots the other) as an alert comes through from control – the victim was courier for Nukco and the case contains radioactive isotopes giving out, you guessed it, ten million rads. Just as the lurker pries open the case – and is instantly snap-fried by the radiation with a flash that even Dredd sees at his distance.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(6) THE SQUADRON THAT TIME FORGOT
(CASE FILES 9: prog 446)

World War Two comes to Mega-City One!

Literally – in the form of an actual German air squadron displaced in time from Stalingrad.

Having introduced time travel in City of the Damned in Volume 8, the Judge Dredd comic continued it with enthusiasm. Of course, in City of the Damned, that was Justice Department’s own prototype time travel technology, but they continue to advance it for further use in subsequent episodes. In this storyline, the time travel is more of a natural displacement or rift in spacetime, in so far as such things are natural although of course I am referring to it not occurring through any human agency. The German air squadron just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to find themselves mysteriously in the wrong place at the wrong time – Mega-City One in the twenty-second century as opposed to Stalingrad in 1942.

So naturally I’m a huge fan of this episode, ranking it in my Top 10 Judge Dredd episodes – at least for the first decade of Dredd. For one thing, I’m a fan of Second World War history, and for another, I’m a fan of time displacement or travel stories involving the Second World War, so this one’s a double delight. Although most time displacement or travel stories with which I’m familiar involve time travel in the opposite direction – from the present day to the Second World War, such as the 1980 film The Final Countdown, or John Birmingham’s Axis of Time trilogy

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(5) THE POWER OF THE GODS
(CASE FILES 12: prog 600)

Judge Dredd does Bruce Almighty (or more precisely has it done to him), but with small gods instead of God – or Grud, as they say in Mega-City One, presumably to avoid restrictions in British comics publishing at the time.

One of my favorite episodes from it and the Judge Dredd comic as a whole – and an example of the tongue-in-cheek absurdist or black comedy that tends to predominate in my favorite episodes. Of course, it’s a little silly and starts to fall apart when you take its premise – actual gods of Mega-City One – too seriously, so of course we’ll have a bit of fun doing that too. We’re talking actual magic here – a similar premise to that we saw in The Genie. But it is one of the most hilarious humorous episodes – and features some of the best art of Judge Dredd, when he is forced by the titular power of the gods, to be…nice. You can just feel his pain.

As for the gods themselves, they are introduced at the start of the episode – Comus, god of consumer spending and credit cards, and his sister, Venus Muncia, goddess of unemployment. Cosmus does not have a high opinion of Mega-City One’s citizens. Well – he’s got that right. They’re lovable idiots. Cosmus is complaining about their idiocy, while Venus Muncia argues for their lovable nature. And so they have a bet – Cosmus bets that if he bestows his power on an ordinary citizen for an hour, that citizen will have screwed things up within the hour.

Judge Dredd crosses paths with the divinely empowered citizen, who wishes the Judges would all be nice.

That does it – Dredd is transformed into being…nice (and apparently kinda…gay?)

There are the nice touches in transformation to his uniform as well – with his name badge replaced with a smiley face and the fierce eagle on his shoulder pad transmogrified into, well I’m not sure it’s an eagle but some sort of happy bird, with a flower in its beak. And then the citizen goes about wishing Mega-City One into paradise.

Of course that won’t do. It’s the Law vs the power of the gods. Dredd manages to outwit the citizen (not a high bar), firstly to wish Dredd back to normal and then to do the same to Mega-City One itself.

As for the gods, Judge Dredd is the Law, even to the very gods themselves – “Meddle in the affairs of this city again and you’ll answer to me!”

That would explain why we have never seen them since. Well that and we’re not meant to take the concept seriously – it’s one of those blackly comic one-off episodes that recur in Judge Dredd, with Judge Dredd facing off against characters from other fiction (or analogues of them), and even as here from outright fantasy or involving magic, typically with Dredd arresting or warning them off. As the punchline went when Dredd arrested a literal genie with magic wishes – “magic is no defence from the law”.

It’s usually best not to take them seriously, or at least regard them as non-canonical in terms of narrative continuity – because if you did, their implications tend to break the narrative world of Judge Dredd right open. (Usually I suspect it’s just the writers having fun playing around with fantasy fights for Dredd).

But I think we can still make this work even if we do take it seriously – well, part seriously and part joking, for fun. These gods – Cosmus, the god of consumer spending and credit cards, and Venus Muncia, the goddess of unemployment – seem more like Terry Pratchett’s small gods. They’re certainly not big gods in the sense of God – or Grud as he is called in Mega-City One, and indeed Dredd references as such in this very episode (“my Grud!”)

So like Pratchett’s small gods, they are coalesced from belief – or rather the omnipresent force of the phenomena they represent. In other words, they came into being from the omnipresent consumerism and unemployment in the minds of Mega-City One citizens.

And on that basis, when he’s not ambushed by their divine power, Judge Dredd can go toe to toe with them as the literal embodiment of justice in the minds of Mega-City One’s citizens – as the one figure or even name citizens identify above all others as representing the Judges, Justice Department and the Law.

So quite literally, Judge Dredd is legend – for the Law.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(4) THE SAGE
(CASE FILES 12: prog 577)

Judge Dredd does Lao Tzu, with the latter not faring so well for it.

One of my favorite episodes from Case Files 12 and the Judge Dredd comic as a whole – as an example of the tongue-in-cheek absurdist or black comedy that tends to predominate in my favorite episodes.

The Sage picks up right where the legend of Lao Tzu left off, riding a magical water buffalo into the sunset – give or take almost three millennia and another continent or so. The titular sage is not quite presented as Lao Tzu himself, but the resemblance is uncanny, down to riding a buffalo from the Cursed Earth in search of perfect enlightenment and the name of Yu Tzu. He also apparently has a disciple narrating his story to followers in an unknown location (but seemingly not Mega-City One itself), which is the framing device for the episode. How and why he ended up at the gates of Mega-City One is not clear – his disciple narrates that he had “seen the greatest cities of the world – yea, even the fabled summer city of psi-lords of Ji” – and even less clear is why he thought that Mega-City One, of all places, had anything to teach him about enlightenment. Judge Dredd – of all people, as luck would have it, doing duty on the city walls – tells the sage as much: “Enlightenment, huh? You’ve come to the wrong place, pal! Beat it!”

Mega-City One tends not to be hospitable or receptive, particularly to visitors from the Cursed Earth. And things continue to get worse for the sage, which belies his wisdom in seeking enlightenment in Mega-City One, as Mega-City One and Judge Dredd dish out to indignities to sages seeking enlightenment within their walls.

Firstly, Dredd requisitions the buffalo for meat – and showing more wisdom than the sage, it magically makes its exit. As for the sage himself, he is decontaminated, interrogated, shaved (a particular indignity as he’d vowed not to do so as a symbol of his quest) and interrogated again, this time with electrical torture. Dredd finally accepts the sage’s account of himself as true – but then ejects him from the city anyway. This is the final straw for the sage – “And finally I have learned that even a wise man – a man whose whole life has been dedicated to understanding and non-violence – has a limit to his tolerance, and I, my friend, have reached that limit!”

As the zen koan goes, if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him – and if you meet Judge Dredd in Mega-City One, punch him.

He punches Dredd – and in that moment achieved enlightenment. “For as you know, enlightenment is the gift from heaven. And for Yu-Tsu, the moment when his fist struck face was that time. Buffalo – city – judge – self…all merged into no-thing. Yu-Tsu was finally enlightened. And he laughed long and hard at the cosmic joke. It is only unfortunate that he had to spend the next ten years in a Mega-City kook cube!”

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(3) A CHILD’S TALE
(CASE FILES 13: prog 631)

One of the most genuinely heartbreaking episodes in the Judge Dredd comic – an individual tragedy born from the casual brutality of Mega-City One, recorded by Justice Department as the accidental death of a citizen.

“Sweet Grud! Didn’t you hear me? What’s the matter? Are you…”

She was deaf, Dredd.

Judge Dredd hits – and kills – a female bystander with his Lawmaster motorcyle while in pursuit of perps and despite his shouted warning to clear the way. He stops to try to assist – an event that is drawn by the child himself, who records Dredd’s exclamation before turning his head and simply stating “Oh” as he sees the Deaf Club from which she and her son had just left.

And the effect on her son is devastating – as she was all he had in the world…

We see the heartbreaking effect on the orphaned son of his mother’s accidental death caused by Judge Dredd, in the poignant form of the child’s own words and drawings (which Dredd reads).

The boy writes “It was an accident. It couldn’t be helped. They put my mom in a meat-wagon. And it couldn’t be helped. Now I’m upset all the time. Sometimes I feel mad. Sometimes I feel like being very bad. But mostly I feel sad…I just want my mom back”.

It’s even more poignant as you can see its effect on Dredd himself. He’s been regularly visiting the welfare unit treating the boy for three months since the incident and offers to try to talk to the boy, but that’s rejected by the treating medical practitioner as too destructive for the boy’s psyche. There’s really nothing Dredd can do to make it right. Dredd may seem unshakeable in his demeanour as Judge, but you do see the effects such as these – even more poignantly as they originate from his own actions, unintended or unavoidable as they might be – and they accumulate as cracks in his demeanour or faith in the Law. And soon, those cracks start to fall apart.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(2) THE THIRTEENTH ASSESSMENT
(CASE FILES 8: prog 421)

And now we come to one of my favorite single episode storylines in the Judge Dredd comic – and one that I intend to make into a Mother’s Day card.

It involves the titular assessment of a Judge Cadet at the Academy of Law, consisting of an on-street investigation – essentially through a drone or “spy in the sky” camera – in which the cadet directs the actions of a street Judge. In this case, the cadet is Brisco and the street judge is of course Judge Dredd.

Brisco directs Dredd through an investigation into three juve gang slayings, which as luck would have it, ultimately leads to Brisco’s own mother, as part of an eldster gang trying to spark off a juve gang war. That’s life in Mega-City One for you – almost everyone’s in some gang or other.

“Do you wish to discontinue the assessment?” Dredd asks Brisco. Brisco declines “No sir, I’ll carry on” – to which Dredd replies approvingly “Good”.

Dredd then arrests Brisco’s mother for conspiracy to commit murder. When she (falsely) protests her innocence, it is cadet Brisco himself who admonishes her through the drone. She pleads with him – “You don’t understand, Harald! You don’t live on the streets. You don’t know what it’s like having to walk in fear all the time! Those wicked juve gangs, always beating us and mugging us – and the older we are, the harder they hit us!”

Cadet Brisco remains stern with her – “There’s never a time to break the law, mother. I want you to give Judge Dredd the names and addresses of all those involved”. She is shocked at the idea of informing on her co-conspirators and refuses. Cadet Brisco reprimands her – “It hurts me to do this, mother, but I must be strict with you. Withholding evidence is a crime. So I’m going to start counting! Every number I count is another year added to your sentence.” He counts to three before she stops pleading with him as his mother and cracks, confessing the name of twelve other residents. Dredd asks Brisco’s direction for sentencing – for which Brisco directs Dredd fifteen years for each of them, except for his mother who receives eighteen years.

With that the assessment is over, Dredd advising Brisco through the drone “you’ll be informed of your grading in due course”. The Judge Tutors ask Dredd his grade, but is there any doubt about Dredd’s assessment? “Pass. With distinction” of course – “any cadet that can put his mother away for eighteen years has got the makings of a damn fine Judge!”

There’s my Mother’s Day card right there!

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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(1) LAWMASTER ON THE LOOSE
(CASE FILES 4: prog 202)

My favorite single episode, perhaps because it encapsulates so much of the character of Judge Dredd and the dystopian satire of Mega-City One in its few pages. As the title suggests, it deals with a rogue Lawmaster. It’s always been an amusing part of Judge Dredd’s dystopian satire that Mega-City One Judges ride the streets on their Lawmaster motorcycles armed with their Lawgiver guns. Both are as over the top as the Judges’ uniforms.

As one comics commentator (Chris Sims of Comics Alliance) marvelled at Dredd’s uniform and motorcycle:

“The one thing you can get just by looking at that dude? He has a lot going on. The costume is blindingly ornate, almost overwhelming in just how much there is to it — you can’t really take it in all at once, and when you throw in the fact that he’s riding on a motorcycle with five headlights, four exhaust pipes, two machine guns and a Crash Bomber stuck to it, it’s ridiculous. There’s just too much. Which is, at a single glance, the perfect representation of Dredd and his world”.

So of course when a Lawmaster goes rogue (from damage to its computer), it is deliciously over the top. We get to see one of the finest uses of Dredd’s catchphrase (“I am the Law!”) and some black humor at the collateral damage the Judges do in keeping Mega-City One ‘safe’ (from their own equipment).

The Lawmaster is introduced with a spiel that with its “Synitron GK13 Audio Computer, Notron 4000CC engine and Cyclops Phylon TX laser cannon”, it is one of the most deadly fighting bikes ever devised. Although there’s not exactly a large pool of candidates for that title, as a motorcycle lacks that primary advantage of other vehicles, fighting or otherwise, for its operator – cover.

As the episode opens, we see a Judge Gorman shot and injured by munce raiders – munce being the main synthetic meat product of Mega-City One, although I wouldn’t have thought there was enough of a black market in it for raiders. Worse, his Lawmaster’s computer is damaged – by a lucky hit as Gorman calls it, or an unlucky one for everyone involved, as it first goes out of control mowing down the perps and then turns on Gorman:

“Bleeding on the public highway is an offence against the Litter Act! The sentence is six months!”

Of course, by six months, it means gunning Gorman down, or rather, dead. After all, its law enforcement options are limited to its bike cannons. It’s as limited in its design as the ED-209 law enforcement droid in Robocop, which doesn’t have any options other than the two cannons for ‘arms’. Or for that matter, the Jedi with their lightsabers in Star Wars – whose minimum response is limited to lopping off a limb or two.

Dredd responds to the alert call – he has to as we’re told that a rogue Lawmaster is automatic priority one rating and all judges in the area must respond. And no wonder given the sheer danger a rogue Lawmaster is to Mega-City One citizenry: “Loitering with possible intent! Sentence – three months probation!”

Of course, it makes no difference what sentence the Lawmaster pronounces – it’s all the same sentence as it guns everyone down.

The responding Judges attempt to bring it down, but that’s not easy. “Lawmasters bear extensive 12mm armor plating. Firelock all-weather tyres are bullet-proof. Only an accurate shot – or a lucky one – can damage them”. (So there you have it – every Judge is the equivalent of Batman with the Batmobile).

“Conspiracy to damage Justice Department property! 2 years penal servitude!”

The Lawmaster continues to evade the efforts of the responding Judges (although Dredd remains in pursuit) – all the while continuing with its garbled pronouncements of crimes (with sentence of death by gunfire, regardless of what it says):

“Lawbreakers in force! Taking avoiding action! I’m letting you off with a warning this time, citizens!

“Walking on a public walkover! Remanded for psychiatric reports!”

Dredd tries to intercept it, but not before it gets on a monorail and pronounces sentence on the passengers with virtual glee:

“What have we here? More lawbreakers by the look of you!…All must be punished!”

Dredd successfully boards the monorail, but unfortunately not before the Lawmaster’s shooting spree of the passengers. The two of them face off in a futuristic gunfight. The Lawmaster pronounces “Interfering with a Lawmaster in the execution of its duty is a serious offence. Sentence – 20 years”

And perhaps the primary reason why this is my favorite one-off episode of Judge Dredd – the classic example of his catchphrase, in reply to the rogue Lawmaster:

“I AM THE LAW!”

And of course there’s the conclusion to the episode. As the episode pointedly repeats, “only an accurate shot – or a lucky one – can disable a Lawmaster”. Dredd’s shot is accurate – piercing the fuel tank with a high explosive round, which takes out what little was left of the monorail train. Although the lone survivor does thank him, with a nice touch of black humor.

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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MEGA-CITY LAW – TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD EPICS & EPISODES:

EPISODES (TIER LIST)

 

This is my running tier list of Top 10 Judge Dredd Episodes up to and including Complete Case Files Volume 18 – classifying episodes as those consisting of a single episode rather than a longer story arc over multiple episodes

 

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(1) LAW MASTER ON THE LOOSE

(2) THE THIRTEENTH ASSESSMENT

(3) A CHILD’S TALE

 

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(4) THE SAGE

(5) THE POWER OF THE GODS

 

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(6) THE SQUADRON THAT TIME FORGOT

(7) THE LURKER

(8) WATCHDOGS

(9) FIRST OF THE MANY

 

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(10) A, B OR C WARRIOR

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (4) Clint Eastwood – The Man with No Name & Dirty Harry

Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Mega-City Law – Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics & Episodes: Arcs

 

Counting down my Top 10 Judge Dredd epics and episodes – essentially as a running list updated as I finish each volume of the collected Judge Dredd Complete Case Files in my ongoing Mega-City Law reviews (presently up to Case Files 18).

I distinguish between epics and episodes – with epics as longer storylines over a five or more episodes. However, that still leaves a distinction for me with respect to episodes – episodes that encapsulate their storylines within the single episode as opposed to those that have a longer story arc over 2-4 episodes (with four episodes being perhaps the most common standard for such arcs).

That is because there seems to be a distinction between the art of telling a story within a few episodes and telling it in only one – a mere six pages or so at that! I tend to admire the art involved in the latter more – but some of the stories in the Judge Dredd comic I have enjoyed the most or which had the most impact on me are those stories of potentially epic proportions yet encapsulated in only a few episodes. In short – literally (heh) – behold the arcs of Judge Dredd! These are my top ten arcs  or storylines of 2-4 episodes.

 

 

(10) INNOCENTS ABROAD

(CASE FILES 18: progs 804-807 – 4 episodes))

 

“Go to Mega-City One…bring back them O’Dilligan brother hallions”

 

That pretty much sums up the post-heist shenanigans of Innocents Abroad. That and “a couple of Emerald Isle scumbags are on the run in the Big Meg”.

 

Essentially the reverse of the Emerald Isle arc, except now Judge Dredd escorting Irish Judge Joyce around Mega-City One to retrieve two Irish perps – the Sons of Erin they ain’t.

 

It’s a good romp – a bit of a Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels vibe to it before that film’s time – essentially involving three Emerald Isle elements on collision course.

 

The first of those elements is Judge Joyce, assigned the mission because of his previous involvement with Dredd back in the Emerald Isle arc in Case Files 15. Sadly, Joyce is not having the luck of the Irish – the running gag of this arc with Joyce as butt of the joke, and after all that work writer Garth Ennis put into boosting up Joyce, his own creation hailing from his homeland, into something more than a joke character in Judgement Day…only to return to Joyce as the butt of the gag here.

 

The second of the elements is Mickah O’Dilligan, Emerald Isle boyo made good in the Big Meg. If by good you mean running an Irish club as cover for his “shady little racket” – and looking down the barrel of McSod’s Syndrome, one to add to the list of diseases you do NOT want to get in MC-1. The good news – it can be completely cured. The bad news – that cure is literally gold.

 

Enter the luck of the Irish with the third element – his prodigal brothers Paddy and Francie O’Dilligan on the lam from the Emerald Isle who just happened to rob a bank of the gold their brother Mickah needs right now, if only they can avoid the heat to retrieve it from its hiding place…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME

(CASE FILES 15: progs 723-726 – 4 episodes)

 

It’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up during Necropolis when they could have been genuine heroes.

One of my favorite storylines over four episodes – I guess I just have a soft spot for lost legions. In this case the lost legion is a Citi-Def unit that literally went underground during the Apocalypse War when their block, Bill Bailey presumably named for the British comedian, was destroyed – and comes out swinging against the Sovs nine years later or so. Except of course there are no Sovs, as Mega-City One won the Apocalypse War, so they’re just committing random acts of terrorism against their own city.

As I said, it’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up just a little earlier during Necropolis – when they could have been genuine resistance against the Dark Judges. They may have initially thought they were fighting the Sovs and their puppet Mega-City One Judges, but the latter was not too different from the Judges as puppets of the Dark Judges – and they would have soon adapted after realizing the situation, albeit they may have assumed the Dark Judges have simply taken over after the Sov victory.

Sadly, these guys are just too unlucky for that and the storyline does resemble a comedy of errors, with one bad luck pile-up after another to stop them realizing that Mega-City One is not Sov-occupied, or at least to avoid their last stand shootout with Mega-City One Judges, even with Judge Dredd doing his best to, well, bring Bill Bailey back home.

So a comedy of errors but also tragedy of errors, as the storyline has some surprisingly effective pathos. I dare anyone to remain unmoved as the unit defiantly sings their block anthem before going over the top – both in First World War parlance and the slang of extreme reaction – one last time to their doom.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(CASE FILES 7: progs 346-349 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Jurassic Park: The Lost World!

Like that film, this time the dinosaurs are coming (from Sauron Valley in the Cursed Earth) to Mega-City One. They’re essentially part of a Jurassic Park-style circus, but of course the titular four carnivores escape (with the help of a strangely empathic caretaker robot) to wreak havoc in the city. And that’s the plot of this four episode mini-epic in a nutshell.

And we get it right from the opening panel, narrated as the Parade of the Century – “the day Irrawaddy Skinner led his monsters in from Sauron Valley”. Oh – how the Cursed Earth has fallen from the days of the Cursed Earth epic, where it was virtual suicide to cross it by land, let alone all the way to Sauron Valley and back again. Or to travel around it in some sort of dinosaur circus, as this episode implies Skinner does – and riding the tyrannosaur Bob, no less. Of course, that would make me feel safer, from everything else but the tyrannosaur itself. His control over it is explained by reference to a Skinner box, itself a play on controversial American psychologist B.F. Skinner and his conditioning chamber or Skinner Box. In this case, it’s some sort of electrical shock collar – which begs the question of how Skinner installed it on his dinosaurs and trained them using it. One suspects he must have got the dinosaurs as eggs or hatchlings.

The storyline then uses the plot device of Mega-City One wildlife expert, David Baloney – a play on British nature documentary television presenter David Bellamy – to explain the origin of the dinosaurs. And it’s essentially Jurassic Park (pre-dating it – where’s the check, Jurassic Park), except the dinosaur theme parks (plural!) were on the American mainland and the dinosaurs were set loose by the Atomic Wars. (One would have thought the Atomic Wars would rival the asteroid as an extinction event for them but now you know better).

The dinosaur exhibition is basically a big dinosaur zoo, with cages to match, and we’re introduced to our titular carnivorous dinosaurs through the labels on the cages – Bob the tyrannosaurus rex, Carol the tyrannosaurus rex, Ted the allosaurus and Ringo as the runt deinonychus of the litter.

Unfortunately, while the herbivorous dinosaurs are docile in captivity, the carnivorous dinosaurs just aren’t adapting themselves to captivity (which just raises even more questions about that Skinner box) and slowly killing themselves resisting it (injuring themselves against the bars and so on). Caretaker robot Granville takes pity on them for their plight, but his protests to Skinner falls on deaf ears – as Skinner callously tells Granville there’s more where they came from. Although the carnivores have adapted enough at least to sense that Granville is their friend when he tends to their self-inflicted wounds (it probably helps that he’s not made of tasty flesh), Anyway, it’s too much for Granville, who decides to help them to, well, run away FROM the circus…

Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(CASE FILES 4: progs 198-201 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Pirates of the Caribbean! Literally, as in mutant submarine pirates (or are they?) operating out of an underwater sea fortress in the Caribbean. There’s even a version of the Kraken. Where’s the check, Disney?

Anyway, even as another ‘mini-epic’ entry, Pirates of the Black Atlantic had a significance extending beyond its four episode story arc and its mutant pirates to foreshadowing the escalation of conflict with Mega-City One’s most persistent adversaries, the Sov-Judges of East Mega-City One…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(6) BLOOD OF SATANUS
(CASE FILES 3: progs 152-154 – 3 episodes)

These episodes feature a little spot of horror, a genre that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd.

Satanus is back!

Well, not quite – just his blood. Remember Satanus, the tyrannosaur from the Cursed Earth when Judge Dredd did Jurassic Park? Quick recap – the Judge Dredd storyline did genetically recreated dinosaurs before Jurassic Park and they still roam the Cursed Earth. The biggest and baddest of them all was Satanus, the black tyrannosaur – who survived his encounter with Judge Dredd (after Judge Dredd survived his encounter with Satanus).

Satanus himself doesn’t return – he went on to haunt humanity’s galactic empire in the far future through time travel and alien warlocks in Nemesis – but his blood returns to haunt Judge Dredd in Mega-City One. Of course, his blood doesn’t have a mind of its own or cross the Cursed Earth to Mega-City One – a genetic research laboratory in Mega-City One has some of the original “plasma based secretion” taken from Satanus when he was still in Dinosaur National Park, from which potentially “a new tyrannosaur can be grown”. Fortunately, “the Judges have banned such experiments as being too dangerous”. Unfortunately, disgruntled laboratory assistant Cyril Ratfinkle sees the potential for his own dangerous experiment, posing the question what would happen if someone drank the tyrannosaur blood?

If you think probably nothing (other than perhaps some food poisoning or similar reaction), then clearly you are not familiar with science in comics. Of course, Satanus’ blood has mutagenic properties, capable of transforming people into tyrannosaur-like creatures, because Satanus just oozes evil tyrannosaur-ness. It’s the tyrannosaur version of the elixir in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

And so Ratfinkle does David in Prometheus before Prometheus, stealing the plasma so he can slip it into someone’s drink like David did with the black goo. He drills a hole in his floor to the apartment below him, which fortuitously lines up perfectly with the exact position and opportunity to drip plasma into the wine glass behind the back of his unfortunate neighbor Rex. (Get it – tyrannosaurus…Rex?)

The next day, Rex expresses his concern to his wife Lynsey about the new black scales on his stomach. Unfortunately, “some days later”, Rex also expresses his concern about his worsening rash when he bumps into Ratfinkle, who exploits the opportunity to lie that his laboratory is working on a cure for this new virus and offers Rex free medicine. No prizes for guessing what that medicine is…

Yes – it’s more of the blood. After several doses of the “medicine”, Rex is thickly scaled and develops a taste for raw meat, “red and dripping”, much to the alarm of his wife – and much to the delight of Ratfinkle observing through the spyhole above, that “on day twelve of the experiment…the metamorphosis of man into tyrannosaur is imminent”. Enough of his humanity remains for Rex to exhort Lynsey to leave the apartment – “Get out before it’s too late!” – when she discovers him building a nest of their furniture and chowing down on another neighbor’s pet.

Lynsey contacts Judge Dredd but unfortunately he’s busy dealing with a “crazy punk”. However, Dredd remains troubled by Lynsey’s message, but unfortunately she did not leave any address. Even more unfortunately, she has returned to her address, where the tyrannosaur-thing that was her husband waits hungrily – and strangely, still wearing shorts, like the Hulk, with the same artistic concern for modesty.

And so Rex spontaneously divorces Lynsey by devouring her, due to their irreconcilable differences that he is now homo tyrannosaurus – as Ratfinkle gloats through his spyhole at the success of his experiment, although he soon receives his poetic justice as just dessert for Rex as the latter sniffs him out.

Well, it wasn’t a total loss as Ratfinkle left the “tapes” of his experimental notes behind – allowing Dredd to identify that Mega-City One has a man-beast on the loose. Meanwhile, Rex has reverted to his human state, but Dredd apprehends him just as his attempted suicide causes him to transform into the tyrannosaur again – because the beast within won’t let him kill himself. The tyrannosaurus Rex (heh) attacks Dredd and things look grim as the beast is poised to devour Dredd (while choking him with its strangely prehensile tail). Fortunately of course, Dredd has been in a similar spot with the original Satanus, so escaping this beast’s grasp is easy in comparison. (He cuts the tail with his trusty boot knife). Dredd pursues the beast into the slum area of ‘Old New York’, where it reverts to Rex again – but Dredd lures out the beast once more by the scent of his own blood (by cutting his hand) and shoots it. As it dies, the beast reverts into Rex once more, thanking Dredd for restoring his humanity – “You may have taken my life – but you have saved my soul!”

And Dredd’s dry reply – “Just routine, citizen”.

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(5) NOSFERATU
(CASE FILES 9: progs 430-433 – 4 episodes)

The Judge Dredd comic introduced vampires into its world in the City of the Damned Epic in Volume 8, but that might readily have seen them become a one-off feature. After all, the vampires in that epic were the Judges from the future 2120 timeline transformed into vampires by the uniquely powerful psi ability of the mutated Owen Krysler or Judge Child.

However, Volume 9 reintroduced vampires as a recurring and surprisingly regular feature in the mini-epic Nosferatu – continuing the vein of the nominally post-apocalyptic or dystopian SF Judge Dredd as a regular fantasy kitchen sink, where any genre trope from SF, fantasy or horror was up for grabs. Of course, the title was a dead giveaway, a word popularized by Bram Stoker purportedly as a Romanian name for vampire, but in fairness the vampire here had an SF rather than supernatural twist – an alien spider-vampire, albeit a shape-changing one.

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

 

(4) SHANTY TOWN
(CASE FILES 6: progs 300-303 – 4 episodes)

Ah – Shanty Town! Or Judge Dredd does Helm’s Deep (or the film Zulu)

Shanty Town looms large for me among Judge Dredd episodes. For one thing, it’s a storyline very much told in the shadow of the Apocalypse War, as the titular Shanty Town is some weird refugee residue from that war just beyond the outskirts of Mega-City One (although it’s a little unclear how it came into being and persisted outside the attention of Mega-City One’s Judges).

For another – and more fundamentally – it has always been a classic Judge Dredd story for me. Judge Dredd – and the Mega-City One Judges (including Hershey) who accompany him to enforce the Law in Shanty Town – are at their most classic characterization. Damn they make those Mega-City One Judges tough.

It is also a classic Judge Dredd action plot – in this case similar to those heavily outnumbered heroic last stands we see in war films, although of course here Dredd and his fellow Judges (although not all of them) prevail by force of sheer guts and toughness as well as their superior firepower, experience and training.

Shanty Town is introduced in the first few pages as a lawless – indeed literally beyond the Law – makeshift but vast “conglomeration containing the flotsam and jetsam of the Apocalypse War”. Well, not literally flotsam or jetsam, since that refers to debris in water, and Shanty Town is very much on land beyond the west wall of Mega-City One, but you get the idea. It also consists of more than a million refugees – presumably originating from the millions we saw flee the city during the Apocalypse War – lorded over by crime gangs. How exactly the refugees subsist is not clear – since most shanty towns eke out their economic survival from the cities of which they are part or attached – but it is clear how the crime gangs subsist, off the backs of the refugees. Literally in some cases, as they harvest them for organ smuggling, to which has recently been added smuggling live merchandise or babies. Which is how Shanty Town provokes the attention of Judge Dredd, as he comes across a baby being smuggled into Mega-City One.

And so Dredd gets authority from Chief Judge McGruder to “clean up Shanty Town” – to which end she orders him “choose a squad and take whatever action you deem necessary”. Finally, the Law comes to Shanty Town – as Dredd and his squad (on Lawmaster bikes) ride into it and nail their notices up:

“Justice Department be warned. This habitation now comes under the jurisdiction of the law of Mega-City One. All lawbreakers will be punished accordingly. By order – Dredd”

Of course, Shanty Town has its own way of biting back hard – hence the epic battle that is the climax of the storyline.

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

 

(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(CASE FILES 3: progs 140-143 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd gets spider-iffic in The Black Plague – and there’s a spider invasion of Mega-City One!

 

Actually, Dredd gets spider-iffic surprisingly often, although usually not on this scale – typically in the form of some sort of mutant or mutants, courtesy of the Cursed Earth, that endless source of mutant weirdness. In this case, it’s a mega-swarm of billions of Cursed Earth spiders – which would be bad enough in itself, but you know if anything comes from the Cursed Earth, it’s usually highly toxic as well, and these spiders are no exception.

 

This storyline of four episodes also sees one of my favorite minor characters (although unfortunately we never see him again after it) – the carnivorous talking mutant horse jokingly named Henry Ford. Carnivorous, intelligent (with quite the wise-cracking personality) and the ability to talk – that’s one hell of a mutation, but who cares? He’s just too much damn fun.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) FATHER EARTH

(CASE FILES 3: progs 122-125 – 4 episodes)

 

The Father Earth storyline was the first of the recurring incursions into Mega-City One from the Cursed Earth, that post-apocalyptic mutated wasteland that was the United States.

Setting aside a previous minor incursion in the nature of a raid by the mutant Brotherhood of Darkness, this is the first incursion on a major scale – particularly as earlier mutant raiders preceded the city wall built by Chief Judge Cal.

This particular incursion is led by the messianic mutant Father Earth, apocalyptic eco-terrorist and walking embodiment of flower power (as plants literally bloom from him). Father Earth is accompanied by his groupies, who seem surprisingly attractive for inhabitants of the Cursed Earth (much like Immortan Joe’s supermodel “wives” in Mad Max: Fury Road).

More ominously, he has his mutant army 10,000 strong or so, with his revolutionary vanguard of the Doomsday Dogs – and doomsday is what Father Earth preaches for Mega-City One. Father Earth has a dream – and that dream is the total destruction of Mega-City One, returning it to nature (such as it is in the Cursed Earth).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT THE CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

(CASE FILES 4: progs 184-185 – 2 episodes)

 

This two-episode story features one of my classic Dredd favorites, in which Dredd arrests the origin of the species. Literally.

Set in one of the most aptly and conveniently named blocks in Mega-City One history – “Mega-City One had seen some strange disasters, but none so bizarre as the day evolution ran wild – and a whole city block became…the naked jungle”.

Well not so much evolution but devolution. It starts with Professor E. Northcote Fribb, who has just “isolated an enzyme which can reverse the process of evolution” – because, uh, science! However, for someone who is intelligent enough to succeed in such an unprecedented discovery, he is remarkably stupid in taking no basic precautions – or indeed, outright sniffing his test tube (which smells rather like spaghetti sauce). The scent immediately starts to devolve him. Worse, he drops the enzyme on the floor and ventilation spreads it throughout the block, devolving the rest of its population into hominids or ape-like primates, even Judges sent in without respirators.

Dredd of course figures out it’s an airborne contaminant and heads into the block to root out the source of contamination – quickly identified to be the block’s notoriously mad professor on the 66th floor. Dredd slowly makes his way through the apes of wrath to the 66th floor, impeded somewhat as the apes set fire to the building in an inversion of that black monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. As he nears that floor, the devolution has, ah, regressed further from ape-like primates to “lower animal stages”, from recognizably mammalian to unrecognizably reptilian on the 66th floor itself…

Behold the origin of the species – as in the professor’s unit 66C itself, the professor has kept devolving right back past any vertebrate ancestry to its starting point. As Dredd exclaims (after the usual “Drokk!” of course), it’s “some kind of giant amoeba”.

Eww! And why does it still have eyes?! Kill it with fire! Not the amoeba, but the de-evolutionary enzyme – as Dredd instructs the fire-fighting crews to eliminate any trace of it. As for the now protoplasmic perpetrator, Dredd arrests him or it of course, presumably to do a few billion years in an iso-cube to evolve back to humanity.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DARWIN-TIER?)

 

 

 

MEGA-CITY LAW:

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD EPICS & EPISODES – ARCS (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(2) FATHER EARTH

(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(4) SHANTY TOWN

(5) NOSFERATU

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(6) THE BLOOD OF SATANUS

(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME?

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

(10) MUZAK KILLER