Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Cities Uniform Rankings

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JUDGE DREDD CITIES JUDGE UNIFORM RANKING

 

I’ve ranked mega-cities and their Judges by their status as heroes or villains in the comic, and even by the more important criterion of quality of life for the average citizen, but now for the most important question of all – which city and their Judges have the best-looking uniforms?

They may or may not be tough on their mega-city’s streets – but which Judges would win on the catwalk?

So here are my rankings for mega-city by Judge uniform design, from best to worst (up to Case Files 19).

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

(1) MEGA-CITY ONE

 

It was a tough choice among top tier rankings but in the end, I could only rank one as truly god-tier – the original and the best, the Mega-City One Judge uniform.

If for nothing else, then there’s at least the fact that it was the template for the design of the Judge uniforms for every other mega-city, certainly at a meta-narrative level for artists of the comic – and possibly even in-universe. After all other mega-cities seem to have almost universally adopted Mega-City One’s Judge system – why not also copy their Judge uniforms to boot?

Speaking of boots, what truly elevates the Mega-City One Judge uniform is that it fuses dystopian fascist jackboot chic with post-apocalyptic biker leather punk, adorned with enough Americana to make the Fourth of July blush.

No, seriously – as the headline of Guardian feature by Ian Dunt proclaimed, it’s “Fascist Spain meets British punk”, a creation of subversive genius. “It’s a mark of honour for the British comic book industry that its most instantly recognisable icon is also its most subversive”.

The fascist Spain part of course came from Carlos Ezquerra, the Spanish artist who played an instrumental role in creating the visual appearance of Judge Dredd

“The eagle motif and helmet were drawn from fascism, the permanently drawn truncheon from police on the picket line, the zips, chains and knee pads from punk” – as Ezquerra told an interviewer, “I was living in Franco’s Spain but also I was living in Mrs Thatcher’s England.”

The result? The Mega-City One Judge uniform is a thing of beauty, with every single detail deliriously over the top – like everything else about Judge Dredd’s Mega-City One in the twenty-second century. It’s why it had to be toned down for anything resembling a practical design in live action adaptation in the 2012 film – because it had been turned all the way up for the comic. Overblown? It’s meant to be!

As Ian Dunt wrote in that article – “Dredd looks like no other comic character before or since. His design makes no practical sense. It has no symmetry or logic to it. No one at the time thought it would work.”

Also – “F**king hell,” his co-creator John Wagner said when he first saw the designs. “He looks like a Spanish pirate.” But somehow, for reasons no one can quite articulate, it is perfect.

Chris Sims in his Comics Alliance blog also waxed lyrical about the sheer batsh*t exuberance of Judge Dredd’s uniform, ranking it in his top 5 comics costume designs of all time:

“The best costumes in comics tend to be simple and well-defined, getting across a lot of information with a very streamlined look. Generally speaking, the more unnecessary gimmicks you add to a suit, the more distracting it gets, and the less it says about the character, and I think that holds true across the board when it comes to superheroes. But then you get to Judge Dredd, and all those rules go flying straight into the Iso-Cubes, where they’re locked up and never, ever let out.”

“Seriously, look at that suit. It’s nothing but unnecessary gimmicks. There’s nothing streamlined about it at all — it’s bulky, and covered with details that you can’t really skip over because, again, the entire costume is all about those details. And yet, it’s top five costumes in comics history, easily. Seriously. I love Judge Dredd’s costume so much, and when you get right down to it, what it really comes down to is context.”

That context is of course the world in which Judge Dredd is set, particularly Judge Dredd’s home city of Mega-City One, in a future that is both over the top dystopian and post-apocalyptic – “a society where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming.”

“The one thing you can get just by looking at that dude? He has a lot going on. The costume is blindingly ornate, almost overwhelming in just how much there is to it — you can’t really take it in all at once, and when you throw in the fact that he’s riding on a motorcycle with five headlights, four exhaust pipes, two machine guns and a Crash Bomber stuck to it, it’s ridiculous. There’s just too much. Which is, at a single glance, the perfect representation of Dredd and his world”.

As Sims observes, instead of an eagle patch on their shoulders, Dredd and other Mega-City Judges have a literal statue of an eagle on their shoulder – something the artists would adapt with similar animal motifs for Judge uniforms of other mega-cities. And because the shoulder eagle takes up so much room, the flag shoulder patch in contemporary American police or military uniforms has to migrate down to their belt buckle, which is of course in the form of another gigantic American eagle. And there’s a third eagle on the badge which blares the Judge’s name (and as iconography, “Dredd’s badge is right up there with the Bat-Signal and the Superman shield”).

USA! USA! USA!

And it keeps going. The belt so overstuffed with equipment that they don’t even have room for a gun – which they keep in their boots, along with their bootknife.

There’s the other enormous shoulder pad to rival the eagle, along with elbow and knee pads. The gloves – with built-in knuckle-dusters and pouches. The chain from the zipper to the badge. And the equally iconic helmet – also equipped with gadgets such as respirator – which famously Dredd never takes off (except when the artist substitutes something else, even just cutting away from the lower part of the face).

And it all rocks – every single part!

Don’t worry – aptly enough for my place entry Mega-City One uniform, this is my most overblown and over the top entry in these rankings. The other entries will be shorter, particularly as other Judge uniform entries are adapted from Dredd’s baseline.

“The other great thing about Dredd’s uniform is that, even with as complicated as it is, it’s the baseline. It’s the standard model, and Dredd’s world is full of modifications on that basic theme, whether it’s the Judges of other cities or just different specialists from his own Department of Justice. And those only work because they’re playing off of Dredd’s. It has, strangely enough, proven to be one of the most adaptable costumes in comics, even if the adaptation is just dropping an even more gigantic golden eagle on it for the Chief Judge”.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) EAST MEG ONE / EAST MEG TWO

 

It’s the cape.

And all those hammers and sickles.

Gruddamn I love the Sov Judges uniform. If it wasn’t for the Mega-City One Judge uniform setting the template and hence earning its god-tier first place, that’s where I would have ranked the Sov Judge uniform.

Dystopian communist jackboot chic with post-apocalyptic biker leather punk, adorned with enough Soviet paraphernalia to make a May Day parade blush.

 

Modelled here by Dredd in disguise as a Sov Judge (but wearing the Mega-City One boots and black leather jumpsuit)

 

Indeed, the Sovs go better with hammers and sickles than their American counterparts with eagles – with (at least) one on their helmet, one on their belt buckle and one on each kneepad. They also have a communist star on each glove.

 

 

 

 

(3) SINO-CIT TWO

 

A close runner-up to their American and Soviet counterparts, the Chinese Judges would have ranked higher if, you know, I’d seen their uniform in its full glory in more than one episode.

And also I believe they toned down the uniforms – which is frankly outrageous. If anything, they should have toned them up! This is Judge Dredd after all. But they’re perfect as they are. I note that there appears to be two regular Judge uniforms and one in a more senior or commanding position, although both uniform designs are in the red and yellow designs of the present Chinese flag.

As for the regular Judges, there’s the helmets styled in the traditional conical Asian design. The dragons as shoulder pad similar to the eagle for Mega-City One Judges. The Chinese characters which I presume to be their name, similar to the badges for Mega-City One Judges. The only issue I have is the shuriken belt buckles – which are a bit too much and also a potential source of injury.

The senior or commanding Judge has a similar coloring and design – but with some big boss shoulder pads going on and a dragon helmet. He also has skulls on his collar and badge, suggestive of perhaps a similar role to the SJS in Mega-City One, as well as a giant Chinese character on his chest.

They also have the yin-yang symbol on the back of their uniforms.

 

 

(4) HONDO CITY

 

Judge Dredd meets anime samurai chic in Japan’s Hondo City!

Hondo City’s Judge-Inspectors have a uniform to invoke the appearance of samurai. Also “unlike foreign Judges, they wear no badge with their name on; their names are printed on the rising sun symbol on their uniforms, viewable only through the visor on another judge’s helmet, with the intent that the citizens see justice as one entity rather than a group of individuals.”

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(5) BRIT-CIT

 

I mean, come on – they’re essentially Mega-City One Judges with lions instead of eagles (on shoulder pad and helmet), blue instead of green (pads, boots and gloves), and Union Jacks. That’s high-tier right there!

 

 

(6) TEXAS CITY

 

Again, come on – they’re essentially cowboy-themed Mega-City One Judges, with Stetsons and five stars. Hence – high-tier!

 

 

(7) EMERALD ISLE

 

They might be glorified security guards…but I like the “green machine” uniforms, green with white and orange trimmings based on the Irish flag. And I’m a fan of the trench coat – which stands out from the usual biker leather uniforms of Judges.

 

C-TIER (MID TIER)

 

 

 

(8) CIUDAD BARANQUILLA / BANANA CITY

 

Yeah – Latin America’s leading mega-city just doesn’t do too well in my rankings. This is probably their best of my rankings for them, but their Judge uniforms look too much like they’ve wandered in as bikers from a Pride parade.

 

D-TIER (LOW TIER)

 

 

(9) SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB / OZ

 

Ah, Oz – you know I love you among my mega-cities as heroes in Judge Dredd and in my quality of life ranking as hands down the best place to live in his twenty-second century, but your uniforms are just low-tier. You’re the only Judges with shorts.

And yes – I know no one’s making it through the post-apocalyptic Australian summer in full biker leather. Well, apart from Mad Max of course, but even then you have Wes in The Road Warrior wearing assless chaps to keep cool.

 

F-TIER (FAIL TIER)

 

 

(10) VEGAS CITY & DELHI-CIT

 

These guys aren’t even trying.

If anything, I’d rank Delhi lower because at least Vegas City Judges have the excuse that they’re really just Mafia thugs doing the bare minimum to maintain the fiction of being Judges. That and the dollar sign as their uniform insignia is a good visual gag. The Delhi-Cit Judges just have a knock-off Mega-City One biker leather jumpsuit without any of the trimmings, except for orange shoulder pads with the Ashoka Chakra symbol to evoke the Indian flag

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION: DARK JUDGES

 

In fairness, the Dark Judge uniform design is arguably the best adaptation from the Mega-City One Judge uniform template – and individualized between them to boot.

Of course, you have to be, ah, undead to pull off the look

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (8) Mark Millar – The Magic Order

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(8) MARK MILLAR –

THE MAGIC ORDER (Image 2019-2023)

 

“We live in a world where we’ve never seen a monster, and The Magic Order is the reason we sleep safely in our beds.”

 

The Apocalypse according to Mark.

Mark Millar, that is.

Of course, that epithet of the Apocalypse according to Mark applies much more to his American Jesus – indeed literally but it is intriguing how often Millar gets apocalyptic in his comics, literally or figuratively.

I have two favorite particular subgenres of fantasy. The first and narrowest is what might be termed apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fantasy, particularly if based on the actual Book of Apocalypse. The second is posthumous fantasy – not in the sense of being published posthumously, but set posthumously or fantasy set in the afterlife.

And I’ve been I’ve been a fan of Mark Millar even since his surreal and characteristically irreverent fantasy comic Canon Fodder in 2000 AD, one that was again apocalyptic in a literal sense and one of the few fantasy works to combine both subgenres. Well, apart from the original Book of Apocalypse.

The Magic Order isn’t apocalyptic in the literal sense but is in the figurative sense of its stakes. The titular order secretly safeguards the world from supernatural and magical threats – such as guarding a magic tome containing the dark spells of Old Atlantis so powerful that it is “”said to cause two world wars and can slay a deity”.

“Magic meets the mob in THE MAGIC ORDER, as five families of magicians-sworn to protect our world for generations-must battle an enemy who’s picking them off one by one. By day, they live among us as our neighbors, friends, and co-workers, but by night, they are the sorcerers, magicians, and wizards that protect us from the forces of darkness…unless the darkness gets them first.”

The first volume featured the American Magic Order while the second and third volumes move to the Magic Order in Europe and Asia.

By the way, Millar returned to posthumous fantasy in his 2017 Reborn comic.

But in a sense this entry bookmarks a place in my top ten I tend to reserve for Millar with one series or another, although The Magic Order does indeed rank as my favorite Millar title at this time. The point is that he consistently writes his own independent creator-owned comics under his unified label Millarworld, usually for Image or Icon – such that I could compile my Top 10 Mark Millar Comics.

It helps that his comics have a healthy rate of adaptation to film or television. The former include titles such as Kickass and Kingsman. The latter is particularly so after his Millarworld label was purchased by Netflix to adapt his comics for television, with my favorite so far as the animated adaptation of Supercrooks. Sadly, The Magic Order is still in production as I understand it.

He also has a very personable profile on X or Twitter.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (9) Charles Soule & Scott Snyder – Undiscovered Country

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(9) CHARLES SOULE & SCOTT SYNDER –

UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY (Image 2019 – PRESENT)

 

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early…what the hell is that?!

 

Undiscovered Country starts from what might seem to be a familiar premise but one that becomes increasingly audacious…and beautifully weird. The titular Undiscovered Country is the United States or or what has become of it after it literally walled itself off from the rest of the world for thirty years (the Sealing) – land of the free and home of the brave become literal land of the lost. And by walling, I mean not just the massive physical walls but the ‘Air Wall’ of experimental force shield technology. Of course, there’s more than a few echoes of contemporary political events – and even more so in 2020 for the premise of its plot, a global pandemic that requires a team seeking a cure to breach its borders and venture into this strange and deadly ‘undiscovered’ country.

And that’s where things go “from prescient to Beyond Thunderdome: giant land sharks, tribal lunacy, jingoistic madmen galore…Forget the Land of the Free. This was Mad Max by way of the bastard son of Roald Dahl and Hunter S. Thompson. If they let the baby smoke crack a lot”. And then there’s the fact – evidenced by those mutated land sharks and jingoistic madmen – that as an effect of that force shield, much more time has seemingly passed in the lost United States than should actually be possible…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (10) Kieron Gillen – The Power Fantasy (2024)

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(10) KIERON GILLEN –

THE POWER FANTASY (Image 2024)

 

“Superpowered.” You have certain preconceptions. They’re incorrect. Here, that word has a specific technical definition. Namely, “any individual with the destructive capacity of the nuclear arsenal of the USA.”

 

Okay – I’ll admit that this entry is aspirational, in turn reflecting that it is my usual wildcard tenth place entry for the best of the present or previous year.

And by aspirational, I mean it is this year’s comic that I want to read but haven’t read yet.

In fairness to myself, the first issue was only just released in August 2024 – with issues to follow each month after that. So it will be some time before the first collected edition comes out – generally it take six issues or so before they are released together in a collected edition.

Also in fairness to myself, I have enjoyed previous series written by Kieran Gillon for Image Comics, so have high expectations for this one.

 

“You are of the Pantheon. You will be loved. You will be hated. You will be brilliant. Within two years, you will be dead.”

 

The first was The Wicked + The Divine from 2014 to 2019, a series I previously ranked in my top ten and still one of the best from Gillen or Image Comics. It featured the Pantheon, a shifting rotation of gods in the Recurrence – when twelve gods (and goddesses) return (or incarnate) as young people for a bright, shining two years before burning out, as they have every ninety years for millennia. Except, you know, God, because that would just be boring. We’re talking beautiful, sexy, pop-star pagan gods and goddesses here, although they change with each Recurrence. Or something like that because the rules are not entirely clear and keep changing.

 

The second was Die from 2018 to 2021, a series I would previously have ranked as my wildcard tenth place entry in my top ten. It featured “a pitch-black fantasy where a group of forty-something adults have to deal with the returning unearthly horror they barely survived as teenage role-players” – a concept the writer pitched as “Goth Jumanji” but was more using Dungeons and Dragons as an intriguing exploration of fantasy as a genre.

That extends to the character classes of the game in the story as an intriguing exploration of character classes in Dungeons and Dragons – Dictator (like a bard with mind control mojo), Neo (a cyberpunk mage powered by fairy gold), Godbinder (like a cleric cutting deals with gods), Grief Knight (paladin literally powered by emotion), and Fool (combination of rogue and bard powered by luck). Indeed, the classes and game mechanics were so intriguing that Gillen spun off an actual role-playing game for them.

 

“There are six such people on Earth. The planet’s survival relies on them never coming into conflict.

Come dance to the ticking of the doomsday clock…”

 

So I’m looking forward to the collected edition of Power Fantasy…although I also want to read We Called Them Giants released in collected edition in October 2024 – which also qualifies it for my wildcard tenth place entry.

 

RATING: 4 STARS**** (based on my ratings for his previous series)

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Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (1) T.S. Eliot – The Wasteland (1922)

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(1) T.S. ELIOT – THE WASTELAND (1922)

 

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust”

 

Apocalyptic poet. Also one of the most name-dropped poets, including in Catch-22 (“Name me a poet who makes money!”)

Also Old Possum, as in Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. Yes – T.S. Eliot is the origin of the musical Cats.

 

 

Also – the Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah! Well, not quite. That is the Lord Humungus from Mad Max: The Road Warrior. But Eliot was the Poet of The Wasteland.

It would be interesting to adapt The Wasteland in the style of Mad Max. Except it would involve a lot less BDSM leather kink and a lot more mind-screw.

It would also be interesting to adapt The Wasteland into horror – it verges on it already. That fear in a handful of dust for one. For another, the titular theme of the mythic Waste Land as post-apocalyptic setting without redemption or resurrection – “That corpse you planted last year in your garden. Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?” The Wasteland as zombie apocalypse, perhaps? Or slasher film?

 

“This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper”

 

Even The Wasteland is laid waste in The Hollow Men, a more straightforward and shorthand poem of the same themes. Shout-out also to The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, the third of the Eliot holy trinity. The central bathos is there in the title – the juxtaposition of the lofty “love-song” with the commonplace and ludicrous banality of the protagonist himself.

 

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons.”

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars (Special Mention) (8) Peloponnesian War

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Destruction of the Athenian army at Syracuse – illustration from John Steeple Davis, The story of the greatest nations, from the dawn of history to the twentieth century, published 1900 (public domain image used in Wkipedia – “Pelopponesian War”)

 

(8) PELOPONNESIAN WAR (431-404 BC)

 

Greek against Greek – Athens vs Sparta.

There was a point when I cracked during the film 300. It was when Leonidas spoke about the necessity of Sparta fighting Persia because even “those boy-loving philosophers” in Athens were fighting Persia. “Screw you, Leonidas”, I yelled “the Peloponnesian War isn’t over!” And after the ushers bounced me from the cinema, I ruminated on this slur on the Athenians. There was of course the fact that they were the true Greek heroes of the Persian Wars.

But there was also, you know, the Peloponnesian War of Athens against Sparta (or Peloponnesian Wars, as there was first and second war with a brief peace between them).

And we’re still fighting it, in that the war between democratic Athens and oligarchic Sparta underlies the grand ideological conflict in Western civilization. Few things may actually have an ideal Platonic form, but Sparta did – Plato’s Republic, with its philosopher-kings or guardians who perceive the Forms of the true reality, trained from childhood to govern in the interests of the polity (by physical and moral regimen) and bound by stricter rules than the rest of the populace.

It has been argued that Plato’s Republic was a dystopian satire rather than a utopian ideal, but it is difficult not to see it intended as the latter – or worse, as Plato’s distaste for his own democratic Athens (which after all, executed his beloved teacher and philosophical mouthpiece Socrates) and idealization of a philosophical version of Athens rival, Sparta, although he and his ideas didn’t do too well when put into practice with attempts at a philosopher-king in Syracuse.

And so we are still fighting the Peloponnesian War against Plato’s mystical fascism or totalitarian Spartanism as it has recurred throughout Western political ideology – the General Will of Rousseau, the dictatorship of the proletariat and its revolutionary vanguard in Marxism or communism, the Fuhrerprinzip of fascism or Nazism, and so on.

Of course, I know this is mostly my projection. I’m not sure if Western political ideology has actually been influenced by Sparta or even Plato and his Republic to that extent (or how much Sparta and Plato influenced each other for that matter). But I’m not the only one to see such parallels and I’m sticking with it – it has a certain mythic resonance. Hence its god-tier special mention entry second to the Trojan War, which might otherwise seem extravagant for a war between Greek city-states.

And what about, you know, the historical Peloponnesian War, you ask? To paraphrase Martin Prince’s sneer from The Simpsons, I’m aware of its work – namely, that Sparta won, with a little help from their Persian friends, albeit to be humbled later by Thebes, before the Macedonians and Romans swept over all the Greek city states.

And that Athenian political ideas didn’t work too well in Syracuse either, with the disastrous Athenian Syracuse Expedition sometimes likened to the American experience in Vietnam, only a lot worse for the ultimate defeat of Athens in their not so cold war against Sparta.

As I said previously, Plato’s ideas – and Plato himself – didn’t fare too well in Syracuse, when he came closest to implementing his Republic and its philosopher-kings in practical reality through Syracuse and its tyrant. Closest that is, as in not at all, founding the time-honored tradition of how intellectuals fare when courting people in power or political tyranny – running afoul of tyrants and narrowly avoiding execution or literal slavery and imprisonment.

Of course, history is a lot messier than our black and white projections of it. Lest we think of the Spartans too much as the bad guys, while their allies wanted Athens destroyed and its population enslaved after its defeat, it was the Spartans with their warrior code of honor who declined to do so – particularly as they regarded that all of Greece owed Athens a debt of honor for its role in the Persian War. And screw you, Thebes and Corinth! I’ve got a letter for the Corinthians and this time there’s no love in it. I’m an Athenian fan.

And for that matter, even the Spartanism or mystical fascism of Plato in my projection may be more nuanced than that, given it has a recurring appeal to or arguments for it. Even I’m a fan of one of the many pop culture versions of Plato’s Republic – Judge Dredd’s Mega-City One. Mega-City One is essentially Plato’s Republic in twenty-second century America, with the Judges as its philosopher-kings or guardians and the Law as its Forms. Judge Dredd – he is the Forms!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Cities Quality of Life Rankings

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And now for the even more important question than how one ranks cities in Judge Dredd as heroes or villains – how one would rank them by where one would actually want or at least prefer to live, as an average citizen. In other words, ranking cities in Judge Dredd by the quality of life they provide for their citizens.

Yes, yes – this may seem surprising for a comic that is, after all, a dystopian SF satire. It’s a crapsack world – they all suck, don’t they?

Well, yes and no. You see, some places are more dystopian than others. And what’s even more surprising – the central dystopian setting we all know and love but are happy we aren’t living in, Dredd’s own Mega-City One, is far from the most dystopian. Mega-City One actually ranks midway through my rankings.

So here are my rankings of Judge Dredd cities by quality of life, from best to worst. Only cities still in existence get a main ranking – but some dead cities get special mention.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

 

(1) OZ – SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB

 

Hands down the best place to live in Dredd’s twenty-second century world – and it’s not even close for the next best. The Oz Judges are laidback as are its citizens. Like the former United States, Australia outside the coastal cities is a wasteland – known as the Radback – but that’s not too different from Australia at present, with its concentration of population in urban cities. (Although one presumes the Oz economy is driven by robot mining in the Radback). It looks like life for the average citizen could compare reasonably well to our present world.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) HONDO CITY

 

Look – it’s a close call between my entries from second to fourth place, but I’m going with Japan’s Hondo City in second place, with its high quality of life for its citizens a result of it being the most technologically advanced mega-city in the twenty-second century. Its Judges also appear to be among the most benevolent to its citizens, who in turn are among the most law-abiding. Sure, there’s exceptions to both – corruption among Judges and crime by the Yakuza – but that’s no different from any other mega-city and arguably better than most.

 

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(3) EMERALD ISLE

 

Yes – it may have been introduced as a biting satire of Irish stereotypes and essentially a glorified theme park under Brit Cit control…but ironically for all the satire, it looked like a pleasant place for the average citizen to live. A rural landscape of rustic villages as opposed to the urban hellholes of other mega-cities – or for that matter, the radioactive wastelands that had largely replaced natural or rural landscapes elsewhere. Not to mention citizens – and Judges for that matter – who just liked to take it easy and have a pint, suffering virtual culture shock when confronted with the casual brutality of Mega-City One’s Judges or criminals.

 

 

(4) BRIT CIT

 

Mega-City One lite.

No, seriously – a smaller mega-city with many of the same problems as Mega-City One but not as far advanced along the same dystopian path and therefore a somewhat more pleasant place to live, even if it is British.

 

C-TIER (MID-TIER)

 

 

(5) MEGA-CITY ONE

 

Yes – I am as surprised as you are. Mega-City One may rank behind four other mega-cities for quality of life but it ranks above the others. As dystopian as it is, it’s just not that bad and life for many of its citizens is decent.

 

 

(6) TEXAS CITY

 

Pretty much like Mega-City One only, you know, if Mega-City One was in Texas…so a little worse. No, seriously – the British writers liked to play up the Texan or Southern stereotypes so of course it’s depicted as a little worse than Mega-City One. The Judges are literal cowboy cops.

 

D-TIER (LOW TIER)

 

 

(7) EAST MEG TWO

 

I mean, come on – they’re the Sovs, albeit the better of the two East-Meg cities and not just because it hasn’t been nuked. From what little we see of life there, it does indeed appear to be more authoritarian and brutal than the American mega-cities, not to mention poorer and with less quality of life.

Yes, yes – there was something of a parallel drawn between the East-Meg One Diktatorat and Judge Dredd in their mutual indifference about informing their citizens of the outbreak of the Apocalypse War. No offense but as I said when looking at the Apocalypse War, that parallel just sounded like some drokking Sov-loving commie gobbledygook to me…

USA! USA! USA!

 

 

(8) SINO CIT TWO

 

The details of life in Sino Cit Two are vague but by all indications they would appear to be similar to the Sov mega-cities, only worse. It appears to be richer than its Sov counterparts but more efficient in its authoritarianism.

 

F-TIER (FAIL TIER)

 

 

(9) CIUDAD BARANQUILLA

 

And there you have it – hands down the worst place to live in Dredd’s twenty-second century. Unless you’re a Judge or one of its rich citizens – but even then things can go wrong. Essentially a corrupt racket or criminal gang disguised as a mega-city, alternating between brutalizing its citizens – inmates tend not to survive its prisons, at least in one piece – and extorting them.

 

X-TIER (WEIRD / WILD  TIER)

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (1) LUNA-1 (SPACE COLONIES)

 

Essentially the Wild West frontier of Mega-City One (as well as other mega-cities), with all the pros and cons of the frontier. Mega-city citizens go to the moon to seek a better life – and the same goes for other space colonies, only more so for those on Earth-like planets in “alien space” where you don’t have to answer to the Oxygen Board for your air.

So if anything I’d probably rank Luna-1 and other space colonies in general as somewhat above Mega-City One in quality of life.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (2) CURSED EARTH

 

Where Mega-City One is dystopian, the Cursed Earth is post-apocalyptic.

Yes, yes – the Cursed Earth isn’t a mega-city (and for that matter has wide variations within it)…but it is an important setting in Judge Dredd, second in frequency only to Mega-City One itself. And people – not just mutants – do live there. Indeed, it is surprisingly populated for a radioactive wasteland. So how does it compare for quality of life?

Well not good, obviously – it is the Cursed Earth, after all. There’s a reason that muties are constantly seeking to get into Mega-City One – and not just as an allegory for illegal immigration in our world. So if I were to rank it against actual mega-cities, I’d have to rank it below Mega-City One…but probably above Ciudad Baranquilla.

And surprisingly, it’s not all that bad either. Parts of it appear quite decent – otherwise you wouldn’t have that many human settlements in it. For that matter, Mega-City One has its own colonies or settlements in it, that often seem better than Mega-City One itself. Heck – just like the muties desperately trying to get into Mega-City One, there are often Mega-City One residents who seem equally as desperate to get out of Mega-City One to the Cursed Earth, whether to Mega-City One’s colonies or otherwise. That was the premise of the Helltrekkers story. Mind you, the whole point of that story was the hell part of the trek – but then there wouldn’t have been a story if it was uneventful.

And similarly to Mega-City One itself compared to other cities, the Cursed Earth ranks about midway when compared to the world’s other radioactive wastelands. The Radback would appear better – just as Australia has the best mega-city, it also has the best wasteland – but it would definitely rank above the Radlands of Ji.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (3) MEGA-CITY TWO

 

RIP Mega-City Two

It’s a pity, as I’d actually have ranked Mega-City Two above Mega-City One for quality of life, perhaps aptly enough for the latter’s West Coast counterpart. It had nicer beachfront – the relatively unpolluted Pacific compared to the Black Atlantic – and its Judges were more easy-going. Perhaps too easy-going, given that it’s not around any more.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (4) EAST MEG ONE

 

RIP East Meg One

Stronger than East Meg Two, but it loses marks for the authoritarian brutality and casual callousness towards casualties, even its own, in going to war against Mega-City One while East Meg Two preferred a more glasnost approach. And of course for not existing anymore, a not unrelated fact. While it was around, I probably would have ranked it just below East Meg Two.

 

You get the idea…

 

SPECIAL MENTION (5) SINO CIT ONE

 

RIP Sino Cit One

Essentially the same compared to Sino Cit Two as East Meg One compared to East Meg Two

 

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (6) VEGAS CITY

 

RIP Vegas City

But not in the same feel-good way as Mega-City Two, where you had something generally to mourn. Vegas City was a literal mafia state which existed solely on gambling. While it was around, I’d have ranked it marginally above Ciudad Baranquilla, because at least it looked like it could be fun if you were lucky or could keep your winning run going. And I had a soft spot for the Lady Luck character who popped up in the Missionary Man story – it sure helps to be a psi to stay lucky in Vegas.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (7) DEADWORLD

 

Trick mention – there is no quality of life in Deadworld because everyone’s dead, except of course the Dark Judges who are undead. Quality of life? Ha! Life is a crime and the sentence is death.

Mind you, even before the Dark Judges took over, Deadworld would have ranked below Ciudad Baranquilla in corruption and callous brutality. How else do you think the Dark Judges were able to take over?

Although, it would have been interesting to see Ciudad Baranquilla square off with the Dark Judges. Or other mega-cities for that matter – why do the Dark Judges always target Mega-City One?

 

Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics

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The famous and iconic cover of Superman’s very first appearance in Action Comics

 

COMICS: TOP 10

 

Exactly what it says on the tin – my Top 10 Comics, including webcomics (as three of my top ten entries, indeed three of the top five).

You don’t need me to explain what comics are, but I might need to explain some things.

First, comics are my guilty reading pleasure I have retained from childhood, much like animation in TV or film. And much like animation, whatever the comic, I’ll usually enjoy checking it or its characters out.

Second, perhaps surprisingly after the first, I don’t read that many comics, let alone actively follow them. For most comics, I don’t go beyond checking them or their characters out in brief overview or review to reading them in depth. Usually, my interest is satisfied by the idea of a comic – or ideas in a comic – rather than the comic itself.

In particular, I don’t follow or read any comics from the ruling duopoly of DC and Marvel, with the exception of the former’s, ah, former label of Vertigo, although I have an enduring interest in and familiarity with many of their characters – but more in their film or television adaptations (or in their art and cosplay) than their original comics.

Anyway, these are my Top 10 Comics.

Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (2) Dylan Thomas – Do not go gentle into that good night

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(2) DYLAN THOMAS –

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT (1951)

 

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night”.

Wales’ leading poet, druid dude and pantheistic Jedi of the Force – “the force that through the green fuse drives the flower”. Also “prince of the apple-towns” in Fern Hill and the young dog in Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dog

“Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

A “roistering, drunken and doomed poet”, who left the world at 39 – “I hold a beast, an angel and a madman in me”. Don’t we all?

“And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars (Special Mention) (7) Bronze Age Collapse

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Sea Peoples in their ships during battle with the Egyptians – relief from the mortuary temple of Ramesses III at Medinet Habu (public domain image – Wikipedia “Late Bronze Age Collapse”and “Sea Peoples”)

 

(7) BRONZE AGE COLLAPSE

 

Styled as World War Zero by some historians.

The Bronze Age Collapse – or more precisely Late Bronze Age Collapse – was the widespread societal collapse of Mediterranean Bronze Age civilization in the 12th century BC, argued to be worse than the collapse of the western Roman Empire or even the worst case of societal collapse in human history.

Minoan Crete and Mycenaean Greece – the Greeks of the Trojan War – were among the most famous casualties, ushering in the Greek Dark Ages for a few centuries.

However, they are among about a dozen ancient civilizations that collapsed or declined – foremost among them the Hittite Empire that collapsed in Anatolia, while Egypt’s New Kingdom and the Assyrians clung on by the skin of their teeth, in decline or weakened. “Almost every significant city in the eastern Mediterranean world was destroyed, many of them never to be occupied again.”

I don’t know much about the finer details of the Bronze Age Collapse, but then neither does anyone else ultimately, as it remains the subject of argument and theory.

However, war is often cited as the main culprit, typically at the hands of the mysterious and to some extent still hypothetical “Sea Peoples”, seaborne raiders to rival the more usual horse blitzkrieg of nomadic herding tribes in civilization-crushing effect.

I certainly think war played a major part, hence this special mention, although am less clear whether it was the cause of the collapse or an effect – with the latter involving the Sea Peoples and others effectively moving into the void left by collapsing civilizations.

Interestingly, the Sea Peoples are proposed to include a number of ethnic groups – one of which is identified as the ancestors of the Philistines faced by the Israelites in the Bible. The Israelites themselves rose in the vaccuum left behind by the retreat or collapse of Hittites, Egyptians and Assyrians – so that the Bible itself has origins in the Bronze Age Collapse, as does that other landmark of western culture, the Iliad and the Odyssey.

Apart from Sea Peoples and war, other causes are proposed for the collapse – political fragmentation or rebellion within societies, drought or famine, natural disasters such as earthquakes or volcanic eruption, plagues, and the collapse of trade for manufacture of bronze (or the emergence of iron among adversaries).

Or a combination of all of these – “the civilizations could have endured any one disaster, but not multiple at the same time, especially not when they were feeding into one another”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)